What's the most stupid way you've injured yourself?

I once caught my toe (no shoes on) in a mouse trap.

Also, fainted in a school cookery lesson, fell under a table, came round, sat up, banged my head on the table & knocked myself out cold again.

Oh DH was so impressed with how effective Cillit Bang was he came running into the room I was in, his hands cupped with Cillit Bang (no gloves of course!) and a penny saying 'Kitty look what it's done to the penny...' not realising that he was giving himself chemical burns...

He has also fished something out of a blocked sink AFTER filling it with chemicals, so ended up with chemical burns up to his elbow. I love my husband to pieces but he can be an idiot.

Gave myself a chemical burn by showing an ex how a silky mitt worked - on my arm. Got bored, realised it looked silly half done and decided to use hair removal cream. Thought it felt sharp but left it on.
Couldn't sleep all night for the pain, went to A&E the next morning were they advised I had actually burned my arm, wrapped me in clingfilm and then some sort of silicon bandage.
Doctor thought it was fucking hilarious though when I explained. Got lots of other nurses and docs to come and see

Oh, another one.

I managed to ram the lid of a tin can into the fleshy bit between my thumb and forefinger. I was going to drop it into the recycling bin and pushed it into the back of a chair instead. The other side went into my hand. It took ages for it to stop bleeding.

I had to click on this thread again, as in "threads I'm on" I could see

"DH had to go to A&E to have a Brussels sprout removed from his..."

I'm glad it was only his ear.

DH had to go to A&E to have a Brussels sprout removed from his ear following a university Christmas dinner that descended into a food fight.

Tried to get the extension hose out of the Dyson too quickly and gave myself a black eye...

haven't made it to the end of the thread yet but is hilarious

just wanted to contribute on behalf of DH when he was around 6yo? he got his first erection (that he can remember) he had just come out of the bath and was in front of the gas fire drying off/warming up, he decided he preferred willy that way and tried to make it stick with hairspray and set it on fire. he still has a scar!

he would kill me for telling as no one knows.

Feeling guilty but cried with laughter at some of these...
I'm afraid I haven't got much to report... but I noticed that a significant amount of injuries are related to cooking / drinking / sex, I don't do any much of these so perhaps that's why I'm relatively unharmed

I almost sustained a very embarrassing injury when lifting my new pushchair from the back of the car a few days after giving birth. It wasn't locked shut, and kind of opened a bit, and then started shutting again - trapping and pinching a bit loose post-baby belly skin in the very firm hinge fastening. It could have been very nasty, but thankfully, I managed to twist around and drop the whole thing before I was sliced up by it!

I cut my thumb open on an empty baked bean tin which I was rinsing out ready for recycling. It poured with blood and I had to go to hospital and have it stitched up!

I also cut my face open when rushing to answer the phone - I ran straight into a kitchen cupboard - had stitches again.

Guffaw at catching your pigtails on the door handle. :o

I always have bruises on my thighs because I have no spacial awareness when it comes to my bedstead and the wall. DH manages to walk by injury free I don't know why I can't!

I've got more from when I was a child though. Running out of my bedroom aged about 6, completely starkers to get in the bath one of my pigtails caught on the door handle leaving me with a very sore scalp and a massive graze down my side where I hit the edge of the door.

I still have a little scar on my finger where I decided to stick it in the serrated wheel of my bike. Think I was about 7 or 8?

In my teenage grunge phase I was wearing a pair of those massive wide leg jeans while climbing the ladder of my high bed. Trod on the hem of my jeans, slipped onto the top of the ladder and bruised my ribs. Good times.

My husband and I are pretty clumsy but thankfully not many trips to the hospital.

One that did require a trip to A&E was when DH was doing angry washing up, slammed a glass into the sink, picked it up and jammed his hand into it to wash the inside not realising it had shattered slicing his hand so that stuff that looked like rice noodles popped out... Stopped the argument and stopped angry washing up too :)

Another time when DH and I were just starting to go out he decided to impress me by doing a forward roll over his new double bed which was nice and springy....he took a run up, rolled, bounced and FLEW into the wall going face first and then sliding down the wall. In JUST his underpants!! Needless to say I was in tears of laughter (still cry with laughter when I think about it 10 years on!), the only thing that he hurt was his pride and he had a but of a bruise on his forehead!

I cut an artery in my finger on a broken teacup, when waitressing at Ask many years ago. Even though it was wrapped up in wads of tissue I was trailing blood around on the floor, and they still wouldn't let me go home early because it was 'only a finger'. They were cunts, though.

I once bruised both elbows when I was doing up a bra strap whilst walking through a doorway.

[Try it]

I managed to cut myself top to toe by shutting the back door when about age 7/8yo - the glass shattered.

Playing 'birds nests' with the cut grass on the verge outside at about the same age - got a huuuuge piece of glass stuck in my knees where I had pushed them together- still have scars now.

managed to break about 3 bones in my foot by breleasing the pallet truck at work...directly ONTO my foot.

Pushed a cupboard shut with my feet, managing to trap my toe in it and break my toe.

Shattering my kneecap by trying to leap over a stairgate, and catching my knee on the top of it.

Breaking my ankle on my birthday - my present was a set of rollerblades.

There are many more!

Think it's hereditory though - My mum managed to get a knife embedded in her hand whilst trying to separate frozen beefburgers, and she also managed to break her leg while getting out of bed.

Whiplash from walking into a glass door!

selks i'm sorry but i laughed out loud at that one!

I once burned myself on the cheek testing to see if the iron was hot. It was.

I still have a scar on my finger from where the knife slipped opening some cheese when I was at uni.

I once got to test drive a friend's brand new shiny moped, I couldn't get the hang of the controls and drove it through their front porch. It was glass. (The porch, not the moped)

My Dad was by far the most accident prone person I ever knew, he nearly cut off his thumb once while fishing, and almost cut off his hand using a stone grinder to cut a hole in a wall to make a door!

I once severred the artery between thumb and first finger getting a new knife out of the packet with scissors. The A&E room was dripping with blood by the time they managed to tie it off, I needed drips etc to cope with blood loss. DC thought I was squirting tomato ketchup round the kitchen until they realised!

Also climbing a fence with spikes at the top as a child and was balanced to jump off, didn't notice the elastic of my ski-pants had got wrapped round a spike. I jumped but instead of landing on the ground I was left dangling by the ankle my neighbour had to lift me off.

Friend had asked a guy to fix a puncture on her bike. He took the wheel off etc and sorted the bike. She cycled away quite happily and went to bump the bile onto a pavement by a sort of wheelie, her whole wheel fell off rolling away from her. The prongs stabbed into the ground sending her over the handle bars into a fence. Poor girl broke 3 teeth, her wrist and split her head open.

I have a scar on the middle finger of my right hand from when I was putting the cutley away, wasn't really paying attention and put the last piece away, which happened to be a steak knife. It got a little stuck so I adjusted the blade WHILST absently mindedly closing the drawer so the knife went into my finger and stayed there hanging out as I lifted my hand out of the drawer.

Also, when younger and rather rampant, my then BF had a new piercing and had to refrain from sex until it healed - we didn't, cue LOTS of pain for poor BF!!

Was dancing to alice cooper's poison with a couple of friends in my sitting room (lots of wine) we were head banging. Anyway we managed to collide causing my metal rimmed glasses to embed in my eyebrow, still have the scar to this day.

Taking rubbish out....slipped feet into walking boots, laces trailing.....it was raining, so pulled door closed behind me as I stood on the step. Took a step forwards....fell flat forwards breaking my wrist....I had shut both bootlaces in the door