What's the most stupid way you've injured yourself?

Pampered chef apple corers are lethal a friend of mine did the same thing the cut was so deep it took weeks to heal, the corer went straight in the bin!

Slipped on a copy of Watchtower dropped in minutes earlier by a helpful JW and broke big toe. Maybe I need to be holier.

I put my hand in the washing up bowl and sliced my thumb open on a Pampered Chef (other makes are available!) apple slicer and corer!! Blood everywhere!!

hong kong fooy kick, hit foot on edge of sofa, bent little toe back and broke it, I had to have crutches, it was very painful and couldnt walk on it.

I was 22 at the time, and singing the theme tune too off the cartoon messin about with then bf

I burnt the end of my finger with a cigarette lighter in my Dad's car when I was younger. I was playing in his car, and believed that it was heated with the car engine, and because the keys werent in the ignition I decided to test that theory by pushing it in, waiting for it to pop out and promptly sticking my finger on it!

I remember going to bed that night with my finger in a cup of water on the floor next to my bed, and I had a disc of hard skin on the tip of my finger for weeks afterwards!

Yep, similar here in that I grabbed hold of the hand mixer blades while it was going.

Omg these are sooo funny, sorry, but I am roaring with laughter

A friend of mine was once using a twin tub washing machine in her shared flat back in the 80's, and put her hand in the spinner to remove the clothes before it had stopped. You can guess what happened next.
She had quite a few little bits of bones pulled off various bones in her hand.
Ouch!

I suppose it could have been worse...if I hadn't selflessly thrown myself under the wine bottle to cushioned it's wine fall, then I could have cut myself on broken glass too.

Scardycat-

Fell out of a tree...drunk and still clutching the wine bottle. I have no idea why I saw fit to climb the tree as I am not agile and am notoriously clumsy but I had a black eye, fractured nose and 2 cracked ribs to show for that little folly.

I have a lovely one inch scar under my right eye caused by my pathetic attempt to rescue a bottle of wine which was cooling in the freezer and fell as I opened the door. I lunged forward heroically, smashed my face onto the corner of the door, missed the bottle entirely and landed on my arse. The wine rolled away from me completely intact. Fucker.

I am 67.I got on a mini trampoline and...Hopped!!
I fractured my knee[tibial plateau] and was in plaster for 3 months.

I once slammed my car door shut, a bit too close to my face and nearly knocked all my own teeth out. It really hurt.

I slipped getting out of the bath. Not unusual except that I fell forward with my mouth wide open and managed to only hit two teeth on the corner of the radiator. I smashed two eye teeth and was dripping blood everywhere. I chipped the radiator down to the bare metal

I nearly sliced through my finger on a brillo pad

Really damaged some tendons in my foot (limped for months, but the latter ones when tired) by having a nightmare about spiders/quick growing poisonous plants, but was in a single bed on the wall side. So in order to escape from these items on the window ledge I was next to, woke up (still quite frightened and not really awake) stood up and then jumped over bf halfway across the room. Landed on one foot and them promptly fell forwards on it bending almost in half. Took a while to work out it was ligament damage and not a break. Try explaining that one people, I hurt it in my sleep. They all thought it was some kinky action gone wrong.

About the same time I fell over drunk and bruised my coccyx (I was being piggy backeds at the time) so couldn't bend well for a few weeks and sliced my thumb (my pulling the handle of a mug) near the bend on my right hand and couldn't write or grip pint glasses (was at uni working in a bar) for a while.

Shut my thumb in a taxi door as it was pulling away!. Had to bang on the roof with my spare arm to get him to stop.
I was blind drunk a bit tipsy, so I wrapped a paper tissue round it and went to bed. The next morning my Mam came into my room and screamed as there was blood all over my face and pillow!

Strangely enough I felt no pain until she screamed

On another occasion I was out for a walk in the countryside and nipped into some bushes for a wee. Spotted some other ramblers coming so whipped my pants up quick and in the process trapped a branch from a prickly bush in my knickers ripping a huge scratch on my bum!

Neither of this - somewhat amazingly - resulted in more than a bit of a shock, but were unbelievably stupid:

sticking a knife in a toaster.
walking in front of a bus.

My dad also once ran over my foot with a forklift truck.

I reached up to put a drink on a shelf and pulled the three sets of muscles in my left shoulder. I still have some slight problems 8 months on.

I was doing some traditional upholstery using a 12in bayonet needle. Sitting on a plastic chair working my way along the edge with the needle, leaving it sticking out at a 45 degree angle, I picked up my chair by leaning forward holding the chair with both hands to my bum to shuffle along ready to continue stitching. I impaled myself, in my extensive boob, on the bayonet needle, with only my breast plate stopping a punchered lung, leaving an interesting scar.
I also was hugging my powerful staple gun whilst talking to a much younger male workmate when I set the gun off and fired a staple into my boob and didn't even notice, his face was a picture trying to tell me!
I have many more but I'll leave it at that.

when I was a teenager I had a lovely floral victorian style frilly nighty.

It had (not very Victorian) elastic round the sleeves to give them their poufy effect.

It must have been to tight because the elastic chafed during the night and I woke up the next morning with a big blister on my arm!

I still have the scar!

Never told anyone this before, but I managed to sever the nerves/tendons on my left foot by ripping the pad on it on the head of a nail.....after DH and I were having a steamy session, the nail was on the wall Still cant move three toes on my foot, 10 yers later.

Also concussed myself a few months ago when we had really strong wind storms getting into my car. The wind threw the car door into my head on one side and I banged the otherside off the door frame.

I was using a really old oven in my first crappy shared flat. I opened the door and realised that gas had Bern on but the oven was not alight. I shut the door which closed upwards. That forced a small cloud of gas up which ignited on the burner.
The whole thing burst into flames burning off my eyelashes eyebrows and my forehead and front of my hair.

But dh is a disaster.

He was lighting a fondue burner which caught fire and in turn set fire to the dressing gown he was wearing.
Then he poured lighter fuel all over his foot when impatient with a bonfire. The whole lot caught. He was wearing flip flops
He was running to the loo in a tiny gite in France when he sliced his head open on it's low roof.
There are loads more

Then one night with his parents it all made sense.
We had fondue again (note, we threw the set away after this). Dh cut his finger on the spiky dipping thing. Pils laughed at him. 2seconds later mil did the same thing but cut her self quite badly.
Whilst I was fetching first aid kit and fil was pissing himself laughing at the other two, fil pretty much sliced a finger of.

It was like a physical enactment of stupid.

I was in work today at the photocopier and turned around to chat to someone, as I turned my ankle twisted and I fell flat on my back with all the grace of a baby elephant, the bloke I was talking too laughed like a hyena and the whole open plan office heard him - luckily the photocopier is in a little cubby hole so no-one else actually saw me springing back up. I've got carpet burn on my elbow, a bump on the back of my head and my ankle has been killing me all day.

Not me, but a friend superglued his own mouth shut.