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Hmmmm? If there was an MNtrance exam, what would the questions be?

316 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 07/06/2011 13:33

  1. Are you able to understand irony?

a. Yes
b. No
c. Maybe
d. I never irony - just give it a good shake when it comes out the machine
e. All of the above
f. None of the above

Grin
OP posts:
Miggsie · 08/06/2011 11:31

A stranger you have never met posts limited details about a scenario that they have experienced/witnessed and are annoyed about. Do you

a) agree it annoys you too
b) demand more details before giving a decision and criticse their spelling and grammar
c) intimate that you are only 3 cousins removed form the Dalai Lama and thus forgive the person, love them and wouldn't ever get annoyed at anything ever, and anyone who does get annoyed is just too sensitive for their own good
d) come up with various, and increasingly unlikely excuses/reasons for the person behaving like they did including (in no particular order): dire nail emergency, dire child related emergency, dire need of sex related emergency, rare disease affecting 1 in 10,000 people but could have been that, bizarre circumstances that would mean someone had to ram a baguette up your nose or the world would end
e) accept that sometimes people are a bit rude, and that's life really

QuinionsRainbow · 08/06/2011 11:19

(a) Explain, in no more than ten words, the etymological derivation of:

BESH
CRESH
FESH
PESH

(b) Use each one in a sentence to demonstrate unequivocally it's meaning.

Suncottage · 08/06/2011 11:06

Has anyone seen the new Pedlar's catalogue? I have more money than sense just ordered an egg cup - it was only £75!

littlelapin · 08/06/2011 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Funtimewincies · 08/06/2011 10:59

Staistics Paper 1

Calculate how many friends you would have to recommend in order to stand a cat in hell's chance of winning a competition in any given month. Show your working out, preferably without harming any cats.

Portofino · 08/06/2011 10:59

How many days after giving birth is it morally acceptable to go waterskiing in the Caribbean leaving your dc behind?

littlelapin · 08/06/2011 10:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissHonkover · 08/06/2011 10:56

Apologies Manatee, in my shock I ruined your quiz question. Blush

MissHonkover · 08/06/2011 10:54

Just googled her, and holy fuck, that's her!!!! Used to think her name was hilarious!

MissHonkover · 08/06/2011 10:52

I used to work with someone called Cherry Menlove. True. Grin

OTheHugeManatee · 08/06/2011 10:52
  1. "Keep Calm and Carry On". Discuss.
OTheHugeManatee · 08/06/2011 10:51
  1. Who or what is Cherry Menlove?

a) A summer dessert
b) A twee and squee Martha Stewart wannabe
c) A type of bumsex

Please provide illustrations to support your argument.

YankNCock · 08/06/2011 10:50

'Mom' is:

a) Only used by Americans, bloody yanks, coming over here and using our forums, how dare they, taking over the world with their bastardised English, and while I'm here I'll tell you about this really stupid American I met once when I was in New York/Disneyland. . .

b) Used by Brummies, you London-centric bunch of twits

c) Do you really care what other people call their mothers? Really?

d) Done to death, I can't believe someone has started another thread about it.

deepfriedcupcake · 08/06/2011 10:44

Describe Chaos Theory in 50 words using examples from your own home.

MissHonkover · 08/06/2011 10:23

First Aid Question:

A man has been hit by a car and you are first on the scene. He is unconscious and bleeding profusely. What do you do?

a) Take him to bed for a fortnight for skin to skin bonding

b) Put him in a sling (not a Baby Bjorn one, everyone knows they are Evil Crotch Danglers)

c) Check the car to see if it's big enough for three car seats across the back but still easy to park

d) Leave the bastard

nickelbabe · 08/06/2011 10:14

passive - it's one of those tests. [wunk]

passiveaggresive · 08/06/2011 10:09
Bear
passiveaggresive · 08/06/2011 10:03

genuine question what are the [pombears] and is it a good or bad thing if you get one and why isnt the emoticon in the list of smileys - does that mean only a select few get to use it?

missorinoco · 08/06/2011 10:02

Have just spat out my coffee and then aspirated. Bloody hilarious thread!

SinisterBuggyMonth · 08/06/2011 09:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thesurgeonsmate · 08/06/2011 09:21

Read the following OP and then answer the questions underneath.

"Rhubarb rhu barb rhubarb, rhub arb rhubarb. Rhubarb rhubard rhu? Barb rhubarb rhubar brhuba rbrhu, barb. Rhubard rhubarb."

  1. (i) Is the OP a troll?; and (ii) What are the signs?
  1. (i) Is the OP talking about their PFB?; and (ii) How can you tell?
  1. (i) Is this a thread about a thread?; and (ii) What makes you think that?
TrillianAstra · 08/06/2011 09:17

Give the full names of, and list threee differences between, SPB and SGB.

Portofino · 08/06/2011 08:44

Name the MNetter that you know will definitely show up at some point on a thread about:

a) wohm/sahm
b) being overweight
c) bumsex

Avantia · 08/06/2011 07:31

If the world is going to end in 3 mins , do you ?

a. Make love to the nearest male / fermale
b. Hug your children
c. Start a thread on MN

ADVANCED STUDENTS ONLY - due to the nature of questions.

1.Whilst engaged on MN clearlyy and accurately describe the location of

a. Your children
b. Your DH
c. Your 15 week chew mad lab puppy

  1. Locate the off button on your computer.
Greenstocking · 08/06/2011 07:09

A post asks in Property and DIY for advice on buying a house for £850 000.
Is your helpful response :

A) £850K? Alright for some. I can't even afford £85!

B) Hmm, you'd be hard pushed to buy a lock up garage where I live for that price. Can you stretch to £2m?

C) Thanks to the bastard evil Tories house prices are sky high. Eighteen month sago under labour you could buy a whole town in the South east for that price.