Hmmmm? If there was an MNtrance exam, what would the questions be?

Cars are common thread discussions on MN. Describe the circumstances that may have led to the following posts, and the possible actions you could recommend. Points will be awarded for incorporating the term "cats bum face" and "unreasonable" and any references to other current topics (threads about a thread)

a) someone has parked outside your house
b) someone without a disabled sticker parks in a disabled parking space
c) in a narrow road, someone wont let you pass
d) swerving violently from the fast lane of the motorway onto the hard shoulder

@ silverten.

Which of the following statements is correct

1. Dragon butter is a nutritious substitute for hummous
2. It is entirely possible to feed a family of 8 on a weekly food budget of 25 pounds if you cook from scratch and are fond of lentils
3. Dogs are a socially useful pet and should freely be allowed to interact with children in public
4. Children should routinely be excluded from all family weddings

Please write a dissertation of no less than 10,000 words, commenting on the unreasonablness, or not, of one of the following subjects:

1. Should I park in parent and child spaces. My child is 21.
2. What is the function of baby pasta?
3. Should I pay the grapes my child ate on the way around the supermarket.
4. I can only feed 20 people from one chicken, am I a crap mother?
5. My husband earns £2m but we are broke, should I sack the nanny?
6. What is the difference between Ham and Nice Ham.

Please translate the following into grammatically correct English, including the correct punctuation and apostrophe use.

1. Fraek
2. Nice Ham
3. Wnaky Baksets
4. My rl mate finbra
5. Pram Huns
6. TxtSpk

Please provide the following dates, correct to the 1st decimal place:
When should you:
( a) start using your summer handbag
(b) move to your autumn handbag
(c) move to your winter handbag
(d) move to your spring handbag

Practical:

Without first doing an advanced search, demonstrate the Mawbroon Roll.

Where can you buy Farrow and Ball paint?

a) Who are Farrow and Ball? Didn't I see them in panto at Runcorn in 1987?
b) In the local decorators' merchants. We live in that sort of area.
c) In "I Saw You Coming", run by dear Mr Enfield.
d) I have no idea. My interior decorator always sources the materials for me.

Question 778.

Kindly insert your hand into MN's patented MRI remote scanner-glove (in attached envelope) so that your MN Yummy Mummy Rating can be calculated. Is it

a) too low to be measured
b) within the usual parameters
c) 11
d) sufficient to cause the scanner to implode and dissolve into anti-matter?

style and beauty

1. when wearing bootcut blue jeans you should wear...

2.what is a BBH? and is it the best thing ever or a big waste of money?

1. The MN haircut is

1. true or false..

Art/Needlework

Design and make your very own "jazzy" Per Una outfit.

Bonus marks will be awarded for:
Ruffles
Waterfall features
Clashing colours
Incorporation of cupcakes or cute embroidered animals in the design
"Ditzy" accessories

Marks will be deducted for natural fabrics.

Remember less is not more and that all opportunities must be taken up to add an extra flourish or detail to the garments.

You discover that your other half is a bit of a love rat. Do you

a) curl up in a tear-stained corner with a family-sized bar of Galaxy
b) get your stepdad/bruv/uncle to sort im out, thatll learn the bstrd goodnpropr
c) organise an elaborate humiliation scene at the local wildlife sanctuary involving a cast of thousands, dressed in penguin costumes, carrying camcorders

Cat poo
Dog poo
Cat poo
Dog poo
Cat poo
Dog poo

Is it my imagination or is it on every other thread including style and beauty and relationships?

Tell me about cat/dog poo.

You see a young man with rippling muscles jump out of a souped-up car he's just parked in a Disabled Space. As he sprints across the car park and vaults the fence in the direction of the video rental place, covering the 100m in less than fifteen seconds, do you tell yourself:

a) He probably has some terrible mental illness and needs to park there because he'll forget where he's left his car
b) He has a dreadful invisible internal lung condition that means he can't actually go further than the 100m you've seen him sprint
c) He's misusing his granny's disabled pass

If a) or b), do you tell people on MN that they are being judgmental if they assume c) ?

Outline in detail 5 reasons why a) McDonalds b) Coca Cola c) Nestle are evil bastard companies who are on a global mission to corrupt our precious children.

You are a fortunate and happy person with a calm approach to life. Your relationships are good (including with MIL), your children are fine and you have enough money on which to live month to month.

Do you:
a) Keep quiet
b) Keep quiet
c) Lurk, realise that any replies will sound patronising and keep quiet.

PMSL at misshonkovers first aid question.

You post in "relationships" about a problem that is really upsetting you.
Do you:
a) get lots of sympathetic and lovely replies that make you feel you are not alone and not a total freak
b) get lots of sympathetic and lovely replies that make you feel you are not alone and not a total freak
c) get lots of sympathetic and lovely replies that make you feel you are not alone and not a total freak
d) get lots of sympathetic and lovely replies that make you feel you are not alone and not a total freak

"(a) Explain, in no more than ten words, the etymological derivation of:

BESH
CRESH
FESH
PESH

(b) Use each one in a sentence to demonstrate unequivocally it's meaning."

I've been wondering this for ages. Does that mean I'm expelled to NM

This IS fun.
Much more fun than doing a the job app I'm supposed to be doing.
Love the lego one

You come across a thread on unconditional parenting, do you:

a) throw up
b) want you to love and hug your children and you know it is the right thing and say so
c) think that UP children are rude and can't behave in public and say so
d) read the thread all the way through baffled, and not post on it, because you are too scared

nickel did i pass, and would it offend you if i offered you a