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Original poster

Hmmmm? If there was an MNtrance exam, what would the questions be?

316 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 07/06/2011 13:33

  1. Are you able to understand irony?

a. Yes
b. No
c. Maybe
d. I never irony - just give it a good shake when it comes out the machine
e. All of the above
f. None of the above

Grin
OP posts:
EduStudent · 07/06/2011 15:48

Match the following threads to the board on which they should be posted:

Thread

Another Mum looked askance at my DC. Am I wrong to think her child will grow up to stamp on puppies?

My child is 3 and can count their toes. What should I say to the nursery to make sure they nurture this talent?

What do you think of Calpol as a name for a baby girl?

Board

Gifted and Talented

Baby Names

AIBU

BitOfFun · 07/06/2011 15:48

A friend has invited you to her wedding but has requested that no children are present, and wants donations to a honeymoon fund in lieu of presents. Is the correct response to a) politely decline the invitation, b) think "her wedding, her rules", or c) have Mumsnet diagnose her with Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Hullygully · 07/06/2011 15:40

MI - that is fab

ExitPursuedByAKitten · 07/06/2011 15:39

Children at Weddings? Discuss.

motherinferior · 07/06/2011 15:38

You have discovered your husband spoke to a woman last week. Do you :

(a) assume he is having an Emotional Affair
(b) give him the benefit of the doubt but keep him on a close watch in future
(d) start looking through his briefcase for condoms
(e) file for divorce
(d) think nothing of it?

Pinkjenny · 07/06/2011 15:38

Your child has a runny nose. Do you:

a) Send them into school or nursery and tell them to 'man up'
b) Give them some Calpol and let them veg on the sofa with Cbeebies all day
c) Dash straight to A&E, demanding to be seen immediately, as it could be anything

ExitPursuedByAKitten · 07/06/2011 15:36

Your DD has not been invited to a party but the rest of the class have.

Do you

a) Shrug and forget about it
b) Take her out for a special treat
c) Post on MN

Hullygully · 07/06/2011 15:33

It's your very first post, outline in graphic and unnecessary detail a gruesome sexual practice in which you partake, but find mildly troubling.

motherinferior · 07/06/2011 15:31

Explain, in no fewer than 500 words, just how gifted your child is. Extra marks will be given for (a) comparisons with other children (b) spelling mistakes in your own submission.

TobyLerone · 07/06/2011 15:29

Your husband has left his pants on top of the washing basket, rather than inside it, for the millionth time. Do you:

a/ leave the bastard, he's abusive

Mamathulu · 07/06/2011 15:23

Explain the difference between ham and nice ham in 300 words or fewer.

JetLi · 07/06/2011 15:22

Cobb vs. Cadac

Discuss

Psammead · 07/06/2011 15:22

The nanny served your child an M&S pre-prepared lunch. Do you

  1. Consider your child lucky to have got something other than fruit shoots and greggs
  2. Not consider it an issue
  3. Fire the nanny IMMEDIATELY and look into filing child abuse claims
Hullygully · 07/06/2011 15:21

My dh wants me to hoover naked whilst he takes me from behind. Is he

a) Controlling and abusive
b) Free and playful
c) Acting out childhood issues
d) An arse

TrillianAstra · 07/06/2011 15:17

Which is the correct term?

  1. Extended breastfeeding
  2. Natural term breastfeeding
  3. Can't be bothered to get them to stop breastfeeding
  4. Bitty
TrillianAstra · 07/06/2011 15:16

How many ways can you cook Pearl Barley?

  1. 3+
  2. one or two
  3. I tried it once, but I didn't inhale
  4. Pearl FUCKING Barley, don't you mean?
lostinwales · 07/06/2011 15:15

You should always read the thread thoroughly before posting, discuss and use examples. Blush

lostinwales · 07/06/2011 15:13

Ramekins, can you ever have too many, discuss.

strandedbear · 07/06/2011 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuzzpigFriday · 07/06/2011 15:10

Compare at least two theories about the existence of Cod, and explain how these theories influence mumsnetters.

Trinaluce · 07/06/2011 15:09

Yeesh: I don't think I'd be allowed in on this basis Wink

  1. Am I being unreasonable?
a) Yes b) No c) Biscuit
  1. Do you own a lavatory brush?
a) Yes b) No c) Brew
  1. Do/did/will you breastfeed?
a) Yes b) No c) Wine
Psammead · 07/06/2011 15:09

Excellent one!

fuzzpigFriday · 07/06/2011 15:07

What is poo x poo x poo?

Psammead · 07/06/2011 15:05

How much do you spend on the DC at Christmas time?

  1. Over 100 pounds
  2. Between 50 and 100 pounds
  3. Between 10 and 50 pounds
  4. Under a tenner
  5. Nothing. I knit them new scarves out of dog hair and they share one tangerine.
ExitPursuedByAKitten · 07/06/2011 15:00

What do you do with your used tampons?

a) Flush them down the toilet
b) Pop them in the bin kindly left in the bathroom
c) Wrap them and put them in your pocket to dispose of later
d) I use mooncups