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Original poster

Hmmmm? If there was an MNtrance exam, what would the questions be?

316 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 07/06/2011 13:33

  1. Are you able to understand irony?

a. Yes
b. No
c. Maybe
d. I never irony - just give it a good shake when it comes out the machine
e. All of the above
f. None of the above

Grin
OP posts:
nickelbabe · 07/06/2011 16:50

Lady - add
5: breathe in deeply.
Grin

missmiss · 07/06/2011 16:49

At what age should children be required to help out around the house?

A) never, they are previous flowers whose every whim should be pandered to.
B) as soon as they can gum a dishcloth - my kids work for their keep.
C) girls from 5, boys never.

icantbelieveimnotbitter · 07/06/2011 16:48

Your DH bought pom bears with the weekly shop. Should you:

a. Thank him
b. Send him back for a refund
c. Leave the abusive bastard

LadyBeagleEyes · 07/06/2011 16:43

If you see someone smoke outside, do you:

  1. Lurk around them giving an irratating cough.
  2. Tut and flap your hand about while glaring at them.
  3. Start the 1 millionth thread on MN because you know there's loads of
anti smoking nutters people out there who will gang up on anyone who dares to admit to smoking.
  1. None of the above
usualsuspect · 07/06/2011 16:43

what*

usualsuspect · 07/06/2011 16:43

When age is ok to leave your child home alone for 2 minutes

A. 25
B .12 ,as long as they have your mobile phone no
C. never, SS should be informed
D. Always, I was left alone to look after my siblings from the age of 6 ,it never did me any harm

nickelbabe · 07/06/2011 16:40

Val - you'd get no marks for that, becuse a genuine troll (and therefore believable made-up troll post) would never hint towards being a name changer or reference old threads.

Twista · 07/06/2011 16:36

"Mumsnet - just words on a screen?"

Discuss.

Valpollicella · 07/06/2011 16:33

Creative writing:

Please write, in less than 200 words, a believable 'trolling' OP.

Additional marks will be given for use of the following:

Non use of paragraphs, grammar and punctuation

Hinting towards being a regular namechanger ( points awarded for referencing famous MN threads)

Contradictions within the OP

hellospoon · 07/06/2011 16:27

Get the phrase 'leave the bastard' into as many threads as possible!

nickelbabe · 07/06/2011 16:27

good questions.
I think i'd just about pass.

RedHotPokers · 07/06/2011 16:25

When my baby cries should I pick her up:

  1. As soon as possible.
  2. Immediately - to prevent cortisol damaging her brain.
  3. After I've finished posting on MN.
  4. Once I've checked what she who must not be named thinks.
  5. Why the hell did you put her down anyway - have you not heard of slings?!
scottishmummy · 07/06/2011 16:24

discuss,is it an abdication of ones personal responsibility to do as online strangers tell you

PommePoire · 07/06/2011 16:20

Creative Writing Task.

Write a short story based on one of the following titles:

The Day I Lost The Hair Booble Plate.
Christmas with the In-Laws.
Zombies Come to Town!

Credit will be given for use of paragraphs.
Marks will be deducted for use of so-called 'txt spk'.

JoanofArgos · 07/06/2011 16:19

Compare and contrast any of the following, and then decide they are the exact same thing:
a) private schools and fruit
b) Nazism and any point of view you disagree with
c) A Labour voter and a Communist.

helenthemadex · 07/06/2011 16:17

do you call random strangers on the internet 'hun'

do you believe everything you read in the Daily Fail/Sun/Sport

do you post in text speak

all of these would be automatic exclusion with polite link to another site (nm) Blush

obviously people with crap grammar and spelling like me would be ok Grin

alibubbles · 07/06/2011 16:15

I know it is only Tuesday, but has to be done...

Have you ever:

a) Had Bumsex

b) googled "dragonbutter"

c) traded a blowjob for new shoes

( All things I learned about on MN!)

TrillianAstra · 07/06/2011 16:13

Are you being unreasonable?
a) Yes
b) No
c) Maybe
d) How dare you suggest that
e)

Am I being unreasonable
a) Yes
b) No
c) Maybe
d) Of course you are how could you think otherwise
e) You should have said that in the OP it's too late to add extra information now

EduStudent · 07/06/2011 16:11

Rank these words from least offensive to most offensive:

Shit
lol
Cunt
Hun
Bubba
Twunt

exoticfruits · 07/06/2011 16:10

Do you let visitors walk on your floors in shoes?

CrapolaDeVille · 07/06/2011 16:05

Do you think the whole world gives a crap what your opinion is about anything?

TrillianAstra · 07/06/2011 16:03

Which of these is the most offensive username

a) Mummyhunnybunny
b) Mummy123
c) Anyfucker
d) Kuckingfunt

Abra1d · 07/06/2011 16:00

Ha ha! to all of these.

Hullygully · 07/06/2011 15:51

A dog walked quite near your child in a park. Do you

a) Kick the dog and demand its immediate destruction
b) sob hysterically and post on MN about lil bubs in public places
c) whistle a happy tune and admire the native wildflowers

anice · 07/06/2011 15:48

NOBDIE -what on earth is that? Some sort of secret gang speak??