Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

Hmmmm? If there was an MNtrance exam, what would the questions be?

316 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 07/06/2011 13:33

  1. Are you able to understand irony?

a. Yes
b. No
c. Maybe
d. I never irony - just give it a good shake when it comes out the machine
e. All of the above
f. None of the above

Grin
OP posts:
MrsKwazii · 07/06/2011 18:05

Define passive-agression (50 words or less)

Extra credit available for posts with liberal use of contradictory Smile

Greenstocking · 07/06/2011 18:03

Describe, in no less than 500 words, what the Patriarchy has done for you. Marks will be deducted for overuse of the words exploitation, misogynist bully, male apologist and braburner.

scottishmummy · 07/06/2011 17:56

why do people,who dont read daily mail link to it daily.why are mn and daily mail inextricably linked?

is it because mn readers secretly really love the daily mail but are too rightontastic to admit.

Hulababy · 07/06/2011 17:51

Justine Roberts and Carrie Longton founded Mumsnet in January 2000. Compare and contrast their relative merits in terms of what each brings to Mumsnet.

Hulababy · 07/06/2011 17:48

Name a MNetter (who has been registered for at least 3 days and/or with more than 25 posts) for each of the letters of the alphabet.

BikeRunSki · 07/06/2011 17:47

Picture round:
Identify the years and seasons of 3 Boden tops.
Additional points for correctly stating the garments' "fun" names.

Field Trip:
At 100 paces correctly identify the following pushchairs:
Mountain Buggy Nipper 360
P&T Sport
Bugaboo Cameleon
Quinny Buzz

Emotional intelligence:
Discuss whether it is fair to use the same name for your child as your friend/cousin/sibling has chosen for their child who is only 3 weeks older, even though you chose that name first, like when you were 8.

WillbeanChariot · 07/06/2011 17:45

People who leave used teabags in the sink are:

a)careless;
b)callous;
c)cunts?

motherinferior · 07/06/2011 17:38

Mumsnet Applied Biology Paper 1:

Discuss the use of formula in the previous question.

LeQueen · 07/06/2011 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Abra1d · 07/06/2011 17:36

Stop this! You're all distracting me from cooking supper and making me snort in an inelegant manner.

scottishmummy · 07/06/2011 17:34

if you see a bottle feeding mum do you

  1. ignore
  2. feel sorry for her
  3. want to get your baps oot for her
  4. run straight to post on mn saw a bottle feeding mum.i was so upset i cried for hours and generate a gazillion posts telling you yanbu
  5. hand her a fag.fucker probably smokes too
motherinferior · 07/06/2011 17:29

Your son is in trouble for kicking other children in the playground. Is he:

(a) clearly bored because he's G&T and nobody's meeting his needs
(b) clearly having a testosterone surge because they all do at his age
(c) clearly a victim of our over-feminised education system?

scottishmummy · 07/06/2011 17:22

applied drama and histrionics practical paper
go over to aibu,act the goat and then if anyone has temerity to disagree throw a strop that would shame mariah carey

feel free use props such as
venomous, vipers, vicious, bitches
and plenty humphy faces

AngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryShockShockShockShockShockShockShockShockShockShockShockShockHmmHmmHmmHmmHmmHmmHmmHmmHmmHmmHmmHmm

and do a gratuitous brag and gag extra pints if you manage
such as how rich you is
which illustrious uni you attended
to brag your house price esp if it looks like a phone number

ReshapeWhileDamp · 07/06/2011 17:17

Your DH just looked slightly askance at your stated intent to dump the toddler with him and run into the nearest Yates to get trollied. With which statement do you agree?

1 - Leave the bastaaaard!
2 - U no ur hubby best hun - wld he go mentul if u cum bac stinking of Lambrini?
3 - Agree entirely with his iffy look - even the smallest amounts of alcohol can be absorbed into breastmilk and you don't want to stunt Jasper's mental growth as he's definitely going to be G&T.

lemonmousse · 07/06/2011 17:14

Do you think the pass level for the MN entrance exam should be set at:

a) level 5

b) level 3 and above

c) neither. I resent the fact that my capability as poster should be based on a one off snapshot of my abilities, that I am expected to study nothing else but MN between September and May, attend booster classes immediately after Christmas, that it will not be based on MN's assesment of all my posts throughout the year and consequently I will be booking a holiday abroad for the week the exam takes place even if this is giving the wrong message to my DC's.

LeQueen · 07/06/2011 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeQueen · 07/06/2011 17:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy · 07/06/2011 17:05

what do you do if

  1. asked for peer reviewed evidence
  2. assailed by a spelling pedant
  3. called a troll
  4. asked if youre a newbie
  5. told to leave the bastard
nickelbabe · 07/06/2011 16:59

I like those matches as they are! Grin

BitOfFun · 07/06/2011 16:58

Match up the following:

Toxic.................................Dave

Cock................................... MIL

Leave the..........................Cunts

Judgey..................................SIL

Shiny................................Lodger

Shiney.............................Bastard

Bonkers..............................Pants

scottishmummy · 07/06/2011 16:57

eulogise and big up mn of yore as much as you can
i'll get you started its not like the ole days no siree

Adversecamber · 07/06/2011 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyBeagleEyes · 07/06/2011 16:54

nickelbabe, thanks.
You're right.
I'd be a 5 but I'd be the smoker Grin
(looks around nervously) They can sneak up on you everywhere

HarrietJones · 07/06/2011 16:54

I thought this was a test

HarrietJones · 07/06/2011 16:50

Name 5 MN quiches. Extra points for naming posters who have flounced from them.