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Original poster

Please remove your book from my knickers DS

408 replies

TheSkiingGardener · 26/05/2011 07:50

said to my 11 month old who presented me with a book to read to him while I was on the loo.

Any other things you never, ever thought you would say?

OP posts:
ScrotalPantomime · 30/05/2011 08:13

"my flabby tummy is not an extra boob, DS, so please stop trying to latch on to it."

leftangle · 29/05/2011 22:13

Don't put daisies up your nose
Don't play with my hair with your feet
Mmm yummy cucumber/yohgurt/eggs (things that I hate to eat)

veritythebrave · 29/05/2011 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

veritythebrave · 29/05/2011 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

singarainbow · 29/05/2011 21:33

"Please dont fiddle with your vagina at the tea table"

SecretNutellaFix · 29/05/2011 20:33

me to my 7 month old nephew

"No, don't eat Auntie Nutty's shoe. It's still on her foot."

I'm sure there will be plenty more in the coming years.

ShuffleBallChange · 29/05/2011 20:21

Just remembered another: "You are NOT Doctor Who, you will NOT regenerate if you get run over, BE CAREFUL ON THE ROAD"

WorrisomeHeart · 29/05/2011 20:15

"No DS, it's not a puddle to splash in, it's wee"

"No, don't splash your feet in it and then try to suck them!"

Said to 7mths DS who just grinned at me and carried on...

blueeyedmonster · 29/05/2011 20:04

Please don't stand on the side of the trampoline and pee like it's a fire hose, that's NOT where we go Hmm

LaraMi · 29/05/2011 20:02

Said to my friend's two year old daughter yesterday (DH had given her his car keys to play with):-

"No, I don't think the dog would like it if you put the car keys up his bottom"

AttillaTheMum · 29/05/2011 19:26

today and touch

AttillaTheMum · 29/05/2011 19:20

Todat in the bath with DD.
'please don't try and tough mummy's noonie' Hmm

PacificDogwood · 29/05/2011 19:14

"No, you can't bounce naked on the trampoline to see if your willy will flap up and down, DS3" aged 3 Grin - said today

"Just because DS4 will put marbles into his nappy does NOT mean you have to keep giving him more, DS2" aged 14 months and 7 years - also today

scarecrow22 · 29/05/2011 18:55

"can you take her, I'm posting something on Mumsnet"

typsical · 29/05/2011 18:16

This morning...

"Do it with your fingers, not your willy !" (using the Ipod Touch)

"No thank you, I don't want to smell your fingers after they've been up your bottom!"

And just now at bath time...

DS: "Look Mummy, I've got a small willy, and Daddy's got a big willy. Have you got a willy?"

Me: "No, ladies and girls don't have willies, do they?"

DS: "Erm, noooo" (thinking face)

DH: "What do ladies and girls have DS?"

DS: "Erm.... DINOSAURS!" (laughs out loud)

TeaOneSugar · 29/05/2011 17:33

"Because a long time ago someone decided to call it a snail/dog/car......"

LifeIsButtercream · 29/05/2011 17:26

"No, we can't watch CBeebies now, we're in the bank, and thats a cash machine, not a TV"

"I can't conjure slugs out of thin air!"

"He's not a lion, he's a man (with admittedly rather mane-like hair), please stop roaring at him"

"It's not a snail, it's your boy dolls willy, stop trying to pull it off"

Original poster
TheSkiingGardener · 29/05/2011 16:31

Oooooh, it's in classics.

Blush Grin
OP posts:
virginiasmonalogue · 29/05/2011 16:12

"Why is the dog green?" (DD2 magic markerd our jack Russell)

"who put the kitten in the toilet?" (Same dd thought the new kitten needed a bath)

"Why did you tell Granny that daddy had ginormous testicles?"

"Stop flashing at the waiter"

CarryOnUpTheAIBU · 29/05/2011 16:07

Ah it's in classics at last :o

Today I said to my DCs "please don't climb through the window yet, I haven't finished sellotaping it"

FellatioNelson · 29/05/2011 15:34

Please don't pick up the guinea pig by his fur. You hear that loud squealing? Well that is him saying he doesn't like it.

MrsKwazii · 29/05/2011 15:28

Don't draw gloves on your hands with felt-tip!

MrsKwazii · 29/05/2011 15:27

No darling, Mr Mumford has mucked it up this time. You must have misheard him

It isn't nice to announce 'I'm squeezing one out' at Nanny's dinner table

Please could you be quiet (said to soft toy who is 'singing')

AlfieandAnnieRose · 29/05/2011 15:25

Yay so glad this thread has made classics Grin. I nominated for it!

TheFlyingOnion · 29/05/2011 15:24

classics! Grin

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