Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

Please remove your book from my knickers DS

408 replies

TheSkiingGardener · 26/05/2011 07:50

said to my 11 month old who presented me with a book to read to him while I was on the loo.

Any other things you never, ever thought you would say?

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 07/06/2011 00:29

Don't touch the hamster cage with your foot, you've got a verruca!

AnnieLobeseder · 03/06/2011 07:23

ScrotalPantomime - we used to get DD1 to latch onto our noses and chins too, to check if she was really hungry. But that stopped the day she gave me a fat hickie on my chin!!! We have the photographs to bring out for her 21st....... Grin

happymole · 03/06/2011 07:21

My dd this morning

'Mummy, that's picture of you'

'No darling, that's Scarlett Johansson'

'NO! Is Mummy and Daddy (Sean Penn )

'Actually, yes, that does look like Mummy' if she had a face and body transplant

Hmm
jaggythistle · 02/06/2011 20:54

mine thinks that a photo of Stephen King on the spine of a book is his daddy, i guess it's the glasses.

also the distorted face on the cover of Radiohead's 'the bends' cd is apparently daddy too, not seeing that one myself. Confused

FoxyRevenger · 02/06/2011 19:54

Stop. Eating. The. Bath.

No, that's not your Dada on the television, that's Frasier Crane. Hmm

whomovedmychocolate · 02/06/2011 19:28

"DD the word is WEIRDO. It's very rude to call people a PAEDO"
"Well yes weirdo is quite rude too but not as bad as the other thing".

WishIWasRimaHorton · 02/06/2011 19:27

I had another couple this weekend, while away with the kids.

'No, DD, don't stroke your ice cream'

and the following day

'No, DD, don't put DS's tiger in your ice cream'.

[there was quite a lot of ice cream at the weekend]

also - 'No, DD - please don't wee on next door neighbour's caravan'.

and then on tuesday, in a flat panic on cwmbran station surrounding by DS and his 5yr old friend shouting 'oi you stupid bugger', then being parroted by DD and her 2yr old friend 'no, boys. it's 'oi you stupid budgie''.

PacificDogwood · 02/06/2011 19:20

I feel compelled to revive this:

"DS3, stop shooting at the neighbours!" Shock - boys out in the garden with their stoopit Nerf guns...

fortyplus · 01/06/2011 19:06

To ds: Please don't keep saying at school - 'Hey mum remember that time you lay on top of me and squashed my willy flat' - they will think I'm a child abuser...

Fuzzywood · 01/06/2011 18:55

Just said to DD 2.10, "where exactly on the bed did you put your bogey? Oh on Daddy's side, that's ok then.
To same DD while she was brushing my hair, "yes mummy's hair does come out if you pull it that hard!"

allhailtheaubergine · 01/06/2011 18:08

"Darling, I PROMISE your skin definitely won't just suddenly drop off. Skin never does that. It's attached."

Grin @ Tag, yoghurt!

blueeyedmonster · 01/06/2011 15:41

Sweetheart we can't buy people!

LieInsAreRarerThanTigers · 01/06/2011 15:05

All to 6 yo ds in one evening:
Stop jumping up and down on the recorder.
Take the cucumber out of your nose. (Must remember to give them to ds in round slices, not 'dipping' slices...)
Stop chewing electrical cables

stubbornstains · 31/05/2011 12:39

(Upon attempting a lie in this morning):
Why are you solemnly presenting me with that raisin DS? Come to think of it, where did you get a raisin from? There are none lying around in this bedroom....Although....you did have some in your tea yesterday didn't you?
(Penny drops and I catapult frantically out of bed)

ScrotalPantomime · 31/05/2011 11:41

"no DD, it's 'tag, you're it' not 'tag yoghurt'" Confused :o

ScrotalPantomime · 31/05/2011 08:06

I actually used to deliberately get DS to latch onto my nose Blush it was funny!

You know it's going to be a fun day when you've said "oh look DS, you've got bogey all over daddy's jumper which mummy is wearing - no, please don't put your hand in it..." before 8am Hmm

PacificDogwood · 30/05/2011 21:51

'Don't lick the dropped icecream off your brother's toes'

'No, daddy's car does not need to be washed with sand' Shock (thank goodness DH did not notice how close his beloved steed came to the sandblasted look Grin)

Fond memories here of the flab latch, too, although the chin/tip of nose latch is funny as well...

oldraver · 30/05/2011 21:33

No darling, that's not a winkle at the back of my throat, it's called a uvula.

Have had the exact conversation this weekend. They are going to go to school and get it wrong arn't they ?

oxeye · 30/05/2011 21:07

I too have the latching-on-tummy-flab thing Hmm

fave this week "no wings in gym" not me but the poor gym teacher at DSs school on mufti day!

AnnieLobeseder · 30/05/2011 20:59

"DD1, why are you wearing my shoes on your ears?"

This evening's gem.

This thread will probably go on forever!

jaggythistle · 30/05/2011 20:57

scrotal my extra boob/ tummy is now a big joke and DS pretends to latch onto it and/or blows big raspberries at every feed.

my own fault for laughing the first time he mistook flab for boob.

MrsPlesWearsAFez · 30/05/2011 20:04

"That is not a pirate, it is an elderly lady wearing a headscarf... Now let's play the quiet game"

LiveLong · 30/05/2011 19:19

There's a hippo on the floor of the bathroom. Poor hippo.

Are you brushing the robot's hair with your toothbrush? Won't he look smart?

TrinityIsAShreddingFatRhino · 30/05/2011 19:14

you really dont have to fight over feet, he has two you know

said to dd2 and gecko who were fighting over one of dps feet to give him a foot massage Hmm

SindyTellsMe · 30/05/2011 09:32

"Clock has got an L in it... Cllllllock..."

Said in every quiet waiting room, library, train station during my daughter's 2nd year while she pointed & shouted

"No, that man doesn't want you to try and speak African to him... Stop it now... No, it isn't being friendly... Yes he does look cross with Mummy... Let's go and swim at the other end, now..."

Swipe left for the next trending thread