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Original poster

Please remove your book from my knickers DS

408 replies

TheSkiingGardener · 26/05/2011 07:50

said to my 11 month old who presented me with a book to read to him while I was on the loo.

Any other things you never, ever thought you would say?

OP posts:
openerofjars · 26/05/2011 10:05

Okay, this one needs to go in Mumsnet Classics.

TeeBee · 26/05/2011 10:05

Trinity don't you watch the Octonauts??? [grins] It is the opening to their submarine thingy.

TrinityIsAShreddingFatRhino · 26/05/2011 10:03

beryl, lol lol lol

BerylOfLaughs · 26/05/2011 10:02

OMG these are hilarious!

"Yes, thank you for showing me, now could you put it back where you got it from" x10 per day

After accidentally turning the tv on without checking the channel first:
"No darling she called the other woman a short, fat mutt, it's just a type of dog, no, 'slut' isn't really a word. I've never heard it before, have you?"

sjm123 · 26/05/2011 10:02

Why is there buttered bread in your bed?

Get down from the ceiling, slowly.

Who has been making tripwires from wool and safety pins?

No, inside the sofa bed is not a good place to hide, get out before you hurt yourself.

I said you could have a snack, like a cheese string, not the entire block of cheese.

Please stop posting my CDs out of the letterbox.

Please get off of my head.

And many, many more. Thankfully they've pretty much grown out of this kind of stuff now Grin

Sirzy · 26/05/2011 10:01

Love this thread!

"no your aeroplane doesn't need washing, especially not in the washing machine"

TrinityIsAShreddingFatRhino · 26/05/2011 10:01

'your bottom hole is not an octohatch and I don't want to see you open it.'

Grin

what is an octohatch anyway?

cheethaz · 26/05/2011 10:00

"No, its not nice to put rice in your china" (my daughters word for vagina when she couldn't pronounce it properly)

TobyLerone · 26/05/2011 09:55

"Stop doing the Running Man in my office. It's distracting me from my spreadsheet."

Said the other day to a colleague.

TeeBee · 26/05/2011 09:53

Oh, and said daily:
Your bottom hole is NOT the Octohatch and I don't want to see you open it.

TeeBee · 26/05/2011 09:51

Please detatch yourself from my boob, you are 8, you should know better.
I know tickling gives you a stiff willy - that's why I DON'T want to do it.
Put your todger away.
Don't eat your brother's bogies, please stick to your own.
Please lower your voice to a loud shout.

Trinaluce · 26/05/2011 09:47

'I'm glad you're enjoying Singing in the Rain, but can you get off the coffee table and put your clothes back on?'

'STOP DRAWING ON YOUR BITS'

'The baby in mummy's tummy doesn't like tea, stop trying to pour it through my belly button'

'Thanks for that condescending round of applause, but I have actually been doing MY wee-wees in the toilet for several years now.'

...I'm sure there must be many more. There'll be at least three by the end of today!

Quenelle · 26/05/2011 09:47

"Where did you leave your poo?"

LittleWhiteWolf · 26/05/2011 09:41

"Stop putting cat food in the welly"

MentalOriental · 26/05/2011 09:35

"How did you manage to wee on your head?"

"I'm not really sure I want to sleep in the kitchen cupboard tonight, but thank your for putting a cushion in there for me."

QuincyMincemeat · 26/05/2011 09:30

"no, the dog does not want your willy in his eye"

LittleBlueBoat · 26/05/2011 09:17

"My boob is not yours, no its not, stop twiddeling"

"My nipple does not twist that way it hurts mummy, please stop laughing"

LittleBlueBoat · 26/05/2011 09:14

"Dont throw the elephant at the window,please"

"Get the pirate out of your mouth"

"stop raming your motorbike in the tv"

"Sorry, but i dont control what is on tv"

"Oh look you did a poo in the bath, lets get out and your Dad can send it down the toilet"

topsyturner · 26/05/2011 09:08

Please stop licking the dog .

WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 26/05/2011 09:06

"My nipple is not a button."

WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 26/05/2011 09:05

"Yes DS. That's your willy. See? It hasn't disappeared in the last five minutes."

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 26/05/2011 08:50

Why is there a stapler floating in the toilet?

StrawberriesAndScream · 26/05/2011 08:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tee2072 · 26/05/2011 08:35

This from ages ago, when my son was under a year. He had a frog that he was only allowed to play with when having his nappy changed so it was a distraction.

'Son, please take the frog off your penis. Thank you.'

TrinityIsAShreddingFatRhino · 26/05/2011 08:17

'we dont lick strangers' Grin

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