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The MN meaning of Liff

344 replies

AuntieBulgaria · 12/05/2011 14:39

Douglas Adams and John Lloyd wrote a book called The Meaning of Liff that used existing place names to give names to commonly recognised feelings, experiences and objects that didn't already have a word for them.

For example:

Cotterstock - a piece of wood used to stir paint and thereafter stored uselessly in a shed in perpetuity.

I was thinking last night, as I stood behind my 3.5 year old daughter sort of herding/hooshing her upstairs to the bath avoiding a variety of potential distractions, there ought to be a word for this.

And then I thought, there are probably loads of commonly recognised parenting phemonema that could be 'Liffed'.

I browsed google maps this morning and came up with the following place name/ definition combos but would love to know yours too...

Kirtling - benign kettling required to keep small child going in the direction you need them to.

Poxwell - act of knowingly covering up of active chicken pox spots in order to make a quick dash into shop for milk or make an international plane flight home.

Ousden - constant flow of greeny/silver snot from small boys, the trail said snot leaves on the shoulders of all of your clothes; 'ooh, hang on, you've got a bit of ousden on that shirt'.

I am sure there must be good definitions for:

Two Mile Bottom
Throop
Weeley
Little Clacton and Great Clacton

And good place names for:

The poo that takes out an entire outfit.

The child-related objects (spare pants, raisins, playmobile duchesses) that fall out of your handbag in important business situations.

The face that teenagers pull when you suggest a healthy walk after lunch.

OP posts:
NorfolkNChance · 13/05/2011 11:28

Ely that slimy feeling you get when retrieving rogue spaghetti from the bottom of the washing up bowl.

BoffinMum · 13/05/2011 11:27

Halfcaff, that would surely be a Six Mile Bottom, as near Newmarket.

We used to play a great game where we provide "Women's Institute" as an unfortunate suffix to real life place names. As in "Loos Women's Institute", "Ugley Women's Institute" and my personal favourite, "Six Mile Bottom Women's Institute". I would be intrigued to hear further suggestions.

NorfolkNChance · 13/05/2011 11:27

Burwell the ability to remove excess material skilfully

AuntieBulgaria · 13/05/2011 11:26

Inertia posted;
Throop is the pre-vomit retching sound a child makes. The time interval between Throop and vomit is precisely 3 seconds less than the time required to fetch, or steer child to, a lavatory or other suitable receptacle.

I would like to add;

Great Yarmouth - the choice, having correctly identified a Throop, whether to use your hands as a suitable receptacle or get vomit on the carpet.

Chipping Sodbury - the barky stuff in play parks that gets stuck in your sandals.

OP posts:
NorfolkNChance · 13/05/2011 11:25
BoffinMum · 13/05/2011 11:25

Auntie Bulgaria, a Littleover* is handing a small nappy wearing child over to another adult because they have suddenly become smelly.

bronze · 13/05/2011 11:23

Melton Constable- leaning drunkedly against a police constable and gushing about how you think they do a great job

OTheHugeManatee · 13/05/2011 11:17
Grin
OTheHugeManatee · 13/05/2011 11:14

Shaftenhoe End When a troll thread in the Relationships section deteriorates to surreal insults

CaveMum · 13/05/2011 11:13

And OTheHugeManatee Grin

[gives secret East Angular handsignal]

OTheHugeManatee · 13/05/2011 11:12

Dereham is the sort you buy from the poncetastic deli for £££, right? Grin

VenetiaLanyon · 13/05/2011 11:12

Ible - the noise of pure joy and triumph that a parent makes when a zoo animal actually deigns to make the sound / action that you've mimicked for many a long year, rather than just staying asleep like all the other wretched zoo animals.

CaveMum · 13/05/2011 11:12

NorfolkNChance - another local eh Wink

Dullingham - the boring mum/dad no one wants to talk to in the playground

OTheHugeManatee · 13/05/2011 11:12

Brent Pelham - a sticky patch on the carpet

Stocking Pelham - as above, but on your last pair of hole-free tights

bronze · 13/05/2011 11:11

Dereham- Nice ham, the opposite of Fakenham

candleshoe · 13/05/2011 11:10

I am one of those then OTheHugeManatee!

OTheHugeManatee · 13/05/2011 11:08

Cherry Hinton A MNer who has never participated in a Friday night bumsex thread.

OTheHugeManatee · 13/05/2011 11:04

Cowlinge - The wisp of hair that keeps getting in your eyes while you're trying to cook, make a phone call and defuse World War III all at the same time.

bronze · 13/05/2011 11:02

Redbourn- How the bed/floor looks after having given birth

I love this thread. ~I've just ordered the book as I haven't read it for years and I suspect my parents still have it

candleshoe · 13/05/2011 11:02

Thrupp - that special kind of vomit that can travel at speed and to enormous distances.

Chipping Sodbury - the urge to buy fish and chips for their tea even though you know you have the ingredients for a 'proper' meal in the fridge.

Dursley - that insane, almost delirious, sleep deprived state in the first four months with a new baby.

Painswick - the scar that is forever on your child's face or body, that was caused by an accident you should have prevented, that is there to remind you that you are NOT the perfect mother!

Nupend - the way of lifting a child's legs up one handed by the ankles in order to change the nappy.

AuntieBulgaria · 13/05/2011 11:01

Oh you have all been busy and brilliant. Wookey Hole and Slyne - fantastic :-) . I've had to stick dd in front of a dvd so I can read and enjoy them properly.

OP posts:
bronze · 13/05/2011 11:00

Fakenham- the stuff that isn't nice ham

NorfolkNChance · 13/05/2011 10:48

West Chiltington a brisk wind that causes you to gasp at the coldness in polite society causing much embarrassment.

Inertia · 13/05/2011 10:48

Machynlleth - Bless you !

( gets back to hoovering before Mardy spots me )

halfcaff · 13/05/2011 10:47

Itchen Abbas - what happens when you encounter a patch of nettles when you are trying to get to the watercress.