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The MN meaning of Liff

344 replies

AuntieBulgaria · 12/05/2011 14:39

Douglas Adams and John Lloyd wrote a book called The Meaning of Liff that used existing place names to give names to commonly recognised feelings, experiences and objects that didn't already have a word for them.

For example:

Cotterstock - a piece of wood used to stir paint and thereafter stored uselessly in a shed in perpetuity.

I was thinking last night, as I stood behind my 3.5 year old daughter sort of herding/hooshing her upstairs to the bath avoiding a variety of potential distractions, there ought to be a word for this.

And then I thought, there are probably loads of commonly recognised parenting phemonema that could be 'Liffed'.

I browsed google maps this morning and came up with the following place name/ definition combos but would love to know yours too...

Kirtling - benign kettling required to keep small child going in the direction you need them to.

Poxwell - act of knowingly covering up of active chicken pox spots in order to make a quick dash into shop for milk or make an international plane flight home.

Ousden - constant flow of greeny/silver snot from small boys, the trail said snot leaves on the shoulders of all of your clothes; 'ooh, hang on, you've got a bit of ousden on that shirt'.

I am sure there must be good definitions for:

Two Mile Bottom
Throop
Weeley
Little Clacton and Great Clacton

And good place names for:

The poo that takes out an entire outfit.

The child-related objects (spare pants, raisins, playmobile duchesses) that fall out of your handbag in important business situations.

The face that teenagers pull when you suggest a healthy walk after lunch.

OP posts:
OTheHugeManatee · 13/05/2011 14:49

Luxulyan - A pointless 'luxury' version of a boring, everyday product.

DorisDoesntDance · 13/05/2011 14:42

Crossbush - the state of one's lady garden that necessitates a visit to the beautician

Bittadon The accidental use of teeth by a breatfeeding child.

Babeny the bobbly bits of hair on the back on a newborn's head that eventually wear off to reveal:

Monkokehampton the newborn hairstyle featuring hair on top and back with a distinctive band of baldness horizontally around.

Milton Damerel the words emitted upon realisation that yu've run out of steriliser at the same time as holding a Six Mile Bottom nappy

MinnieBar · 13/05/2011 14:36

Ouse - the sensation you get when you feel sperm making a return journey hours after the event. Okay, that's a river and not a place, but perhaps that's actually more apt...

smellyeli · 13/05/2011 14:21

Loving this thread! We used to read this book under the table in 0-level English, ah, those were the days.

Loving Joan of Argos's Yorkshire inspired offerings.

Shropshire offers plenty of rich pickings too, if I wasn't too pregnant to think - and the Corridor Etiquette section of the original is a definite fave.

Great Chatwell - an unexpectedly popular MN thread?
Church Preen - the thing the WI do the day before Harvest Festival
Pulverbatch - fairy cakes deemed unsuitable even for the school cake stall, and are put out into the garden for the birds?

sloggies · 13/05/2011 14:19

Mallerstang . The frustration you feel when you have inadvertently hit a body part with a mallet. Grin

sloggies · 13/05/2011 14:17

Waves accross the room at Joan. And yes.

JoanofArgos · 13/05/2011 14:09

(can you tell I'm using a convenient copy of 'Complete Yorkshire' for inspiration here?)

JoanofArgos · 13/05/2011 14:09

Goole - chocolatey dribble.

Fimbo · 13/05/2011 14:07

Huntington. Where the huns hang out fighting over prams.

boredonasunday · 13/05/2011 14:04

Can anyone provide me with a name for that moment when 3 cars arrive at a mini roundabout at exactly the same time resulting in a few seconds where they all sit and stare at each other willing someone to go first. I could've done with it earlier...

JoanofArgos · 13/05/2011 14:04

Hull the nightamarish hiatus after naptime and before teatime in which it is too early and too late to send a child to bed again.

JoanofArgos · 13/05/2011 14:02

Pickering the kind of argument which begins when the elder sibling relentless corrects and informs the younger of her various errors and failings, before things progress into actual physical violence.

Chulita · 13/05/2011 13:59

Grin @ Arpafeelie and Fenton Pits

JoanofArgos · 13/05/2011 13:58

Withernsea - a nine year old's scathing look.

Honeydragon · 13/05/2011 13:55

Birstwith The feeling of pride and success when one's thread has appeared in active convo's Wink

Honeydragon · 13/05/2011 13:54

Boulby The sensational thrill of discovering and / or the excited anticipation of removing a hardened bogey, firm wodge of earwax, bellybutton lint or even toe crud from a beloved offspring's orifice.

MmeLindt · 13/05/2011 13:38

Oh, you are in The Round-Up. Congrats.

:o

Bearcrumble · 13/05/2011 13:29

Praze-An-Beeble What competitive mothers do very loudly at piano recitals.

Lucifera · 13/05/2011 13:27

Arpafeelie - the suspicion that a hand on your leg in a crowded bus is deliberate.
Cambo - trying to get your toddler to smile for a photo.
Easter Kinkell - stumbling round a cold, damp garden in the early hours hiding chocolate eggs.

Bearcrumble · 13/05/2011 13:27

Fenton Pits The sour milk neck crevices on a possetty newborn.

Vulgar · 13/05/2011 13:26

Strood The unstoppable torrent of puke that babies to over the shoulder

Chulita · 13/05/2011 13:24

cholstrey- cold demeanour of 'regular' mums at a toddler group towards the 'new' mum

Bearcrumble · 13/05/2011 13:24

Binbrook That foul juice that trickles out all over your hall when a sharp bit of plastic pierces a refuse sack on the way to the outside dustbins.

OTheHugeManatee · 13/05/2011 13:22

Abington Piggotts Those wispy pseudo-bunchies nethuns some people try and put in baby girls' hair.

Chulita · 13/05/2011 13:18

Pillowell the state of having your pillow scrunched in exactly the right way