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The MN meaning of Liff

344 replies

AuntieBulgaria · 12/05/2011 14:39

Douglas Adams and John Lloyd wrote a book called The Meaning of Liff that used existing place names to give names to commonly recognised feelings, experiences and objects that didn't already have a word for them.

For example:

Cotterstock - a piece of wood used to stir paint and thereafter stored uselessly in a shed in perpetuity.

I was thinking last night, as I stood behind my 3.5 year old daughter sort of herding/hooshing her upstairs to the bath avoiding a variety of potential distractions, there ought to be a word for this.

And then I thought, there are probably loads of commonly recognised parenting phemonema that could be 'Liffed'.

I browsed google maps this morning and came up with the following place name/ definition combos but would love to know yours too...

Kirtling - benign kettling required to keep small child going in the direction you need them to.

Poxwell - act of knowingly covering up of active chicken pox spots in order to make a quick dash into shop for milk or make an international plane flight home.

Ousden - constant flow of greeny/silver snot from small boys, the trail said snot leaves on the shoulders of all of your clothes; 'ooh, hang on, you've got a bit of ousden on that shirt'.

I am sure there must be good definitions for:

Two Mile Bottom
Throop
Weeley
Little Clacton and Great Clacton

And good place names for:

The poo that takes out an entire outfit.

The child-related objects (spare pants, raisins, playmobile duchesses) that fall out of your handbag in important business situations.

The face that teenagers pull when you suggest a healthy walk after lunch.

OP posts:
SpawnChorus · 14/05/2011 06:55

Love oulart!

LovelyJudy · 14/05/2011 02:11

Wantage - the state of urgently needing something from the toy section of Argos catalogue

GraceK · 14/05/2011 00:41

Not strictly a place name but Flurbiling - when your sleeves get rucked up inside the sleeves of your coat as you put it on. Very annoying. To prevent this you must grab hold of the cuffs & 'de-flurbile' as you put your arms in.

GeekLove · 14/05/2011 00:23

Dorridge The term given to any unexpected soft wet substance on the floor detected when walking around bare foot. This is more often than not organic.

chipmonkey · 13/05/2011 23:56

Duleek The sound you make when you step on a piece of lego.

Oulart A baby who should be asleep but who is awake and ready to play at 3 am

Knocknagoshel The feeling you get when you answer the door in a towel, expecting it to be your child returning from school only to find it is a man trying to get you to change your electricity supplier.

Trinaluce · 13/05/2011 23:38

Horninghold Early morning cuddle when you know that what's poking you in the thigh is NOT anything in his pocket...

Tugby Early morning confirmation that no, it is NOT in his pocket

Cold Overton The feeling of dread when at the precise moment of Tugby you sense, rather than hear, your DC arrive in the doorway

Peatling Parva The noises uttered by said DC as they interrupt Tugby that you try to ignore

Peatling Magna The definite noises and potential tantrum that put an end to any further suggestion of Tugby and signify the start of Tur Langton

Tur Langton The act of a small child climbing into your bed, pressing their cold feet against your spine and nicking all the duvet

WobblyWidgetOnTheScooper · 13/05/2011 23:23

Wyke Champflower - the dad who yells at his DS from the sidelines during football training on Saturdays.

aristocat · 13/05/2011 23:11

so glad this has been moved to Classics ...... superb Grin

milliemae · 13/05/2011 23:07

Also:

Saunton - coolest kid in dc's playgroup.

Braunton - the Saunton's sidekick: thuggish, self-appointed, generally male & normally ignored.

Slapton - the Saunton's other sidekick: sluttish, self-adoring, always female & too shrill to ignore.

Neasden - nice but nerdy child, routinely tortured by Braunton & Slapton by way of impressing Saunton; hence, any futile sacrifice inflicted on others in the name of vanity.

WobblyWidgetOnTheScooper · 13/05/2011 22:55

Yardley Gobion - the fact that even when I'm exhausted and lying in bed I'm STILL pissing about on MN.

WobblyWidgetOnTheScooper · 13/05/2011 22:48

Scarlett you must be from my old stomping ground :o

ScarlettWalking · 13/05/2011 22:46

St Mary's cray - the surreal sound of a playground of just let- out infants.

ScarlettWalking · 13/05/2011 22:42

Bromley - the last, passive stage of a previously tantruming child after an hour of screaming for denied toy at ELC or the like.

Knockholt - the quick bang of a childs head on the door frame whilst being carried.

Milkycheeks · 13/05/2011 22:30

Auntie B "I'm looking for the word that means the remains found in a forgotten lunchbox." - i offer you Ventongimps

milliemae · 13/05/2011 22:28

Auntie Bulgaria - crusty stuff found in an abandonned lunch-box is perfectly covered by the original work's Goosnargh, though I think that specifically referred to fridges. I'd like to suggest from my own area (4 neighbouring villages):

Fingest - dc's nasal probings.

Skirmett - dc's titanic efforts to dislodge the findings of Fingest

Frieth - trophy gained from successful Skirmett

Turville - the evident satisfaction shown by dc after consuming Frieth a milli-second before you arrive with a flannel / hanky / bleachy j-cloth / passing puppy etc.

PelvicFloorsOfSteel · 13/05/2011 22:23

Whitelackington - The colour of all the white babygrows after being washed with something red and something blue, a kind of fetching, splodgy, sky-blue pink.

PelvicFloorsOfSteel · 13/05/2011 22:21

Ilminster - a child who has been perfectly healthy all weekend and suddenly starts exhibiting signs of illness on monday morning, 'he's being a bit of an ilminster this morning'.

SocietyClowns · 13/05/2011 22:21

Haven't read all yet so it may have been mentioned but Bill Bryson also writes about place names... I think Nether Wallop was a favourite - sounds like what I rarely have to threaten dd1 with Hmm

SocietyClowns · 13/05/2011 22:18

Love it... Marking my place and desperately trying to remember the name of the place I drove through earlier which made me snigger...

PelvicFloorsOfSteel · 13/05/2011 22:16

Mamhead - Pregnancy brain that continues into motherhood.

BounceBounce · 13/05/2011 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 13/05/2011 21:55

I lived there until a few years ago, now I am up the road - I am definitely not one either Grin

Trinaluce · 13/05/2011 21:44

Heh heh, well I live here and I am definitely not a Milton Keyne!

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 13/05/2011 21:35

I thought Milton Keynes was a collective term for PFB mothers who sanitise everything to within an inch of it's life.

DorisDoesntDance · 13/05/2011 21:29

aw my village has been Liffed!