Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

Blackbird in my bedroom! Get it out! Get it out!

399 replies

HumperdinkFangboner · 12/05/2011 07:12

what do I do?!

I have NEVER moved so fast, was in bed it flew in the window like a bat out of hell and I've ran out slamming the door behind me.

Now tell me it's likely to fly out on his accord whilst I do the school run?

OP posts:
AmazingBouncingFerret · 13/05/2011 13:52

ROAR! @ Psammead! Grin

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 13/05/2011 13:52

For the fjords, Psammead? Grin

AmazingBouncingFerret · 13/05/2011 13:52

He was obviously heartbroken. You threw him out of your bedroom. You were his one true love.

Bird killer.

Angry Wink
Psammead · 13/05/2011 13:46

'e's not dead, 'e's pinin'.

Quenelle · 13/05/2011 13:46

Oh how sad Sad

Bye bye Black Bird.

Original poster
HumperdinkFangboner · 13/05/2011 13:40

Keep Grin

Well he was looking suspiciously dead at about 7am when I went to make sure he'd left the shed roof! He was infront of the door so I think he just plopped down. Poor little bugger.

I can't put him in wheely bin can I? Could send him to you for burial mummylin? I think he'd like that.

OP posts:
CaveMum · 13/05/2011 13:36

Condolences on your loss OP.

Shoebox time methinks.

Bohica · 13/05/2011 13:26

Grin @ keep

keep · 13/05/2011 13:25

^arm not arms unless you're adapting the pattern to make a bondage harness

Bohica · 13/05/2011 13:24

Did you see him fall Humperdink? How long has he been down? You could try to resuccitate him. I could talk you through it if you like?

If that fails I personally would bury it in next doors garden.

keep · 13/05/2011 13:23

mummylin, Your compassion know's no bounds

Here is a useful Mumsnetters pattern that posters may like to use-

  1. Take one black refuse sack and using sharp scissors to avoid a ragged edge, cut out a rectangle 15inches by 6 inches.
  1. Lay out the rectangle horizontally and make a fold upwards from the bottom to the middle and secure with sellotape making sure there are no creases or bubbles.
  1. Now take the top half of the rectangle and fold downwards to the middle and again secure with tape.
  1. Place a small strip of double sided tape on one end of the strip and taking care not to catch your hair or clothing secure the band around your upper arms. If it falls down you have made it too loose. If your fingers turn blue you have made it too tight.

5.Wear your remembrance arm band with pride.

(Tip- make sure your refuse bag is empty before you start cutting it up)

mummylin2495 · 13/05/2011 13:06

Dont forget the collective meeting here at 2.30 to say farewell to our newly departed feathered friend.I will hold the wake at my house but you will have to travel to Bournemouth if you want to join in Grin

Pinkjenny · 13/05/2011 12:47

This thread has to go into Classics.

RIP Tweety Pie

Psammead · 13/05/2011 12:41

I've a feeling my previous advice about banging a saucepan will be even more useless now Grin

Original poster
HumperdinkFangboner · 13/05/2011 12:39
Grin
OP posts:
Psammead · 13/05/2011 12:14

I feel this thread has come full circle.

'There's a black bird in my bedroom. What do I do?`'
Lots of pisstaking helpful advice.
'The bird is gone!'
Huzzah!
'There's a dead bird in my garden. What do I do?'
Lots of pisstaking mourning.

keep · 13/05/2011 11:52

There once was a jackdaw from Blighty
Who wanted to wear a silk Nighty.
He wouldn't leave the bedroom 'til he found one that fit
What a mess he did make with feathers and shit
But alas, when he was chased out he died of a frighty!

Suncottage · 13/05/2011 11:50

Or there was a recipe a few posts back.

[yummy]

Wordwork · 13/05/2011 11:37

A jackdaw committed suicide in my back garden a few weeks ago by flying into a window at the speed of light. It's body was almost perfect, really beautiful, glossy and beady-eyed. Just a trickle of shiney blood from the skull. What to do with the body is quite straightforward: it isn't metal; it isn't paper/plastic. That's two bins ruled out. The choice is betweeen compost and general waste.

mummylin2495 · 13/05/2011 11:32

Could we all have a minutes silence today at 2.30pm to pray for this much loved and missed bird.Can you pluck him and keep the feathers for a memento !

Original poster
HumperdinkFangboner · 13/05/2011 11:20

lovely poems! Jack will be touched.

Now, really, what the frig do I do with him?!

OP posts:
Ormirian · 13/05/2011 11:12

Lovely poem keep.

The rest of you piss-takers I am ignoring

Wordwork · 13/05/2011 10:53

So, farewell then, Jack Dawe.
Hero of ingress!
Lord of the shed!
Numpty of egress,
So now you are dead.

Psammead · 13/05/2011 10:36

'Pon opening her bedroom door,
Humpy found a huge bird perched on her drawer
But despite being fed
He croaked on the shed
And poor raven will sing Nevermore.

Poor blighter.

MmeLindt · 13/05/2011 10:33

May I suggest As The Bird Flies Home

As the bird flies home to its parent nest,

When the hunter seeks his prey,
O child of God, to thy Father haste,
From the tempter?s snare away.

Refrain

Under His wings thy defense shall be,
He with His feathers shall cover thee,
Cover thee, cover thee,
He with His feathers will cover thee.

When the winds are cold, and the days are long,
And thy soul from care would hide,
Fly back, fly back, to thy Father then,
And beneath His wings abide.

Refrain

Oh, the tranquil joy of that dear retreat,
Where the Savior bids thee rest,
With steadfast hope, and a trusting faith,
In His love secure and blest.

Refrain

?Tis the Lord thy God that to thee has said,
He will guide thee with His eye;
In all thy need, like the weary dove,
To Thy only refuge fly.

Refrain