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Original poster

A dog shat on my picnic

197 replies

marmaladetwatkins · 18/04/2011 12:55

So I threw all of my picnic food in the bin because it made me feel like vomiting my spleen out. DH says I was being a bit OTT but honestly, I do not like dog shit.

WIBU to waste food after a dog shit on my picnic blanket?

OP posts:
geordieminx · 18/04/2011 13:31

GOML I'm just waiting for Valhala to pitch up...then we are all in trouble .

I fecking hate dogs

GetOrfMoiLand · 18/04/2011 13:31

lol at that.

Don't ever buy a Buffet snack from a service station. That also looks like a petrified dog turd.

MmeSurvivedLent · 18/04/2011 13:30

Loving how everyone who makes a joke about kicking the dog or pelting with Scotch Eggs then writes JOKE and hides from Valhalla.

GoodnightNobody · 18/04/2011 13:29

my friends toddler picked up and bit a chunky dog poo.

I have tried to bury that memory because the image used to come back to me when I was eating a tortilla wrap or similar.

GetOrfMoiLand · 18/04/2011 13:29

It is your blanket which was pebbledashed, mate Grin

Mumofaflump · 18/04/2011 13:29

More importantly... Did the dog ruin a picnic with own brand food or branded?

:)

Original poster
marmaladetwatkins · 18/04/2011 13:29

"or threw some scotch eggs at his head"

I had scotch eggs

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 18/04/2011 13:29

Yes - what dog was it? Was it an old english sheepdog which had clods of shite stuck to its arse post evacuation?

Or a greyhound, for full three legged hopalong cassidy comedic value?

Original poster
marmaladetwatkins · 18/04/2011 13:28

I have no idea what kind of dog it was. If I had to describe it I would say a boxer spliced with a pig. Weirdest looking dog I have ever seen. Plus it was a weird colour, grey and brown and black pebbledash it looked like.

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 18/04/2011 13:27

Yes I am only laughing because it happened to you.

If it had happened to me I would be utterly incensed, and I would have chased the amputee dog with a baguette, or threw some scotch eggs at his head

DameEdnaBeverage · 18/04/2011 13:27

What kind of dog was it? I really need to know so I can fully picture it!
Really needed a good laugh so thank you for sharing this with us- is this what they mean by 'a dogs dinner'?.
I used to know a three-legged dog - it was called tripod! Grin

geordieminx · 18/04/2011 13:27

No, honestly you SHOULD have punted the dog into the river, along with the bitch of an owner

Original poster
marmaladetwatkins · 18/04/2011 13:26

Dh said "none of it landed ON the food" then looked at ME like I was the one going round shitting on picnics because I didn't want my lunch.

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 18/04/2011 13:25

lolol at the whole thing

Three legged dog
Shat (yes shat is one of the funniest words ever)
caca
Dog chods (lol at that, I have never heard it before)
Dog shat on a mat

I am also laughing at the vision of a three legged dog getting all frisky because he has the shits and needs to go NOW

geordieminx · 18/04/2011 13:25

I actually cannot believe your Dh thought it was acceptable to carry on with the picnic...

Chocolate mousse anyone???

Original poster
marmaladetwatkins · 18/04/2011 13:24

She didn't grovel, she laughed, gaily laughed about it. Honestly, I wish I had some balls sometimes. I should have punted the dog into the river like a rugby ball JOKE.

OP posts:
lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs · 18/04/2011 13:24

I have a dog, but would have been mad if it were me. And would have thrown food away too, yuck yanbu

Original poster
marmaladetwatkins · 18/04/2011 13:23

Honestly, it ruined my day. I spent £20 on picnic goodies on saturday to take with us and I ate the sum total of 20 pee's worth.

OP posts:
GwendolineMaryLacey · 18/04/2011 13:22

Not only would I have not eaten my sandwiches, I would have snatched them from dd's mouth as well and gone back to the car with the hump.

And if I was the owner I would have been grovelling like crazy.

But it is funny though because it happened to you and not me

geordieminx · 18/04/2011 13:20

This has really made me laugh, which given I am ib bed with tonsilitus is no easy task

WalterFlipschicks · 18/04/2011 13:20

Oh my god, I missed half of this thread whilst typing, and I have ruined my mascara laughing at this post!

Grin
GoodnightNobody · 18/04/2011 13:20

Marmalade, I empathise.

Dirty shitter.

(the dog, not you).

Original poster
marmaladetwatkins · 18/04/2011 13:18

Can I ask MNHQ to amend my thread title to Dog Shat on my Picnic?

OP posts:
MrsChemist · 18/04/2011 13:17

Shat is infinitely more amusing than 'did a shit'

Original poster
marmaladetwatkins · 18/04/2011 13:17

Exactly, GoodnightNobody I kept looking at my tuna sandwich and my mini spring rolls and thinking "dog shit dog shit" It didn't smell though which was a blessing our else I might have thrown myself into the river.

OP posts:
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