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Original poster

to make a little sign for this woman?

862 replies

TandB · 15/04/2011 09:00

I have ranted on a previous occasion about the morning rat-run through our village so very quick summary:

Single track roads - short-cut to city - I am apparently only person who needs to go opposite direction during rush-hour - majority of people coming the other way clearly think I am unreasonable for driving through my own village and glare and head-shake at me - I am cross.

Obviously it is the holidays now, so the school run traffic is missing which makes life much easier. However, there is one woman who I see every single time. She drives very fast on a narrow, twisty road with several blind bends so I finish up crawling around corners in case she comes hurtling the other way. She flatly refuses to back up even a couple of feet to the nearest passing space, and she makes no attempt to move over so that both cars can pass without scraping through the hedge. So I finish up reversing to the next passing space with her driving about 6 inches off my front bumper with a face like thunder, and then as soon as the road widens at all, she squeezes past, glaring at me all the time and shaking her head.

Bearing in mind the following:

  1. I live here and have as much right to leave the village as she does to cut through it.

  2. I drive a very small car which causes minimal obstruction.

  3. I don't drive dangerously fast.

  4. I am the one reversing and getting off the road.

would I be unreasonable to make a little sign saying "The next time you shake your head at me will be the last time I reverse for you. I can sit here all day - how about you?"

Would probably be unreasonable to add "cowbag" at the end, I suppose.

OP posts:
caramelwaffle · 20/04/2011 22:08

Hell No She Won't Go! Grin

Original poster
TandB · 20/04/2011 22:00

Right everyone. I am psyched. I will be singing the 'tomorrow' song. I have no sign, but I have already placed a strategic book in the car - I even put some thought into what book it should be and eventually decided on my old childhood copy of "Tales from Disney". I just feel it would be more insulting to be ignored by someone reading a large print Disney picture book than someone reading the Odyssey for example.

I have a selection of snacks for DS in case we are there for some time and I am wondering if I could disable the passenger air bag so he could sit in the front for solidarity. Probably not, but if I wind the window down I might be able to persuade him to scream "coooooooow" at her if we are stopped by the cow field.

I am wondering whether it would be sad to make extra glamming-up effort tomorrow so that I can toss my hair L'oreal style and think "because I'm worth it" as she reverses out of my way.

[starts chanting] Hell no. I won't go. Hell no. I won't go.....

OP posts:
caramelwaffle · 20/04/2011 21:16
Grin

Oh I'll never watch Annie in the same way again...Grin

SauvignonBlanche · 20/04/2011 18:53

Can't wait!

NorfolkNChanceOfAnEgg · 20/04/2011 18:38

The sign'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be fun!
Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!
When I'm stuck in car
That's far
From moving,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh
The sign'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
I love ya
Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!

Nicked from Annie, adapted by Norfolk

TheMonster · 20/04/2011 18:34

Tomorrow!

blackeyedsusan · 19/04/2011 17:22

Thursday?

RealEyesRealiseRealLies · 19/04/2011 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MrsMeow · 19/04/2011 14:55

This thread has made me chuckle, can't wait until Thursday now!

My mum lives in Somerset and has a spare room so if anyone wants to join in with kfp's convoy I'm sure a few of us can squeeze in for the night Grin

womma · 19/04/2011 14:14

OP, have you got time to get your pimped before meeting this person again? You could go for a Gladiator style makeover, so next time you see her, flick a switch and the big rotating blades come out of your wheels, dahdah!!

She'll take a detour in future.

On the other hand, have you thought about getting out of the car and telling her what a twit she's being? She will probably poo her pants when she sees you get out of the car, and you can be very polite and patronising to her to make her feel silly.

I live in London and have this all the time round my way with cars parked so it makes the road a single track. The fuckwittery demonstrated by other road users is stupifying. YANBU by the way.

Crystyclear · 19/04/2011 13:53

hurrah for you! waves from my aibu thread shall put a sign at the end of my lane in solidarity:

"slow down please, zombies ahead"

Original poster
TandB · 19/04/2011 13:21

Just south of Bath - all zombies welcome!

OP posts:
geraldinetheluckygoat · 19/04/2011 13:15

If she does reverse, you need to give her a little polite round of applause and then a sarcastic smile as you drive past. If you dont meet her at all, I, for one, will be GUTTED. Grin

ongakgak · 19/04/2011 13:11

marking my place. I live in Somerset, where are you, I could be a roaming zombie, sign holder?

Original poster
TandB · 19/04/2011 13:09

Good point!

OP posts:
ZacharyQuack · 19/04/2011 13:07

You could hold up your "Well done, that wasn't so bad was it?" sign

Original poster
TandB · 19/04/2011 13:05

That would be truly disappointing! I would have to make a thank-you gesture. I am not sure I could bring myself to do it!

OP posts:
TartyMcFarty · 19/04/2011 13:04

Or she has a passing fit of politeness and reverses herself!

kenobi · 19/04/2011 13:03

I love Zachary's cards!

(and have neatly segued into a placemark. Nice!)

Original poster
TandB · 19/04/2011 13:02

I am now paranoid that one of the following will happen:

  1. I don't see her
  2. I meet her right beside a passing space so there is no issue
  3. I meet her when I am 2 feet away from a passing space so I would have to be a complete cow not to reverse.

and hoards of MNetters all over the country will be disappointed.

OP posts:
FannyPriceless · 19/04/2011 12:55

Thursday, then?

WalterFlipschicks · 19/04/2011 12:52

Excellent idea Zachary!

ZacharyQuack · 19/04/2011 12:33

You need a series of signs, a la Andrew Lincoln in Love Actually, e.g.

"Good Morning!"
"Lovely day isn't it?"
"No rush love, I've got a book"
"Look for the "R" symbol on your gear stick"
"That's it, just a little more"
"Well done, that wasn't so bad was it?"
"Thanks! See you tomorrow"

Original poster
TandB · 19/04/2011 12:26

I am practicing my non-moving stance. This morning I was carrying a heavy case of files down a flight of stairs into an underground station, obediently following the big "Keep Left" signs and holding onto the handrail. A woman decided to ignore said signs and reject the entirely empty staircase to her left in order to march up the stairs and stop in front of me, waiting for me to move myself and my case out of her way.

I did not move. I practiced my "Really? You think?" face until she tutted and went round me.

I was proud.

OP posts:
Lawm01 · 19/04/2011 12:19

have you seen those giant, coloured eyelashes you can now fit to your headlights? Maybe you can get a set of those that will stare the other woman out until she submits and reverses?

.... and, and, and, perhaps you can get someone to wire them up so that when she obliges they'll give her a friendly wink.
I'm getting carried away now, aren't I?. Perhaps stick to Plan A with the sign.

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