Dear *

Darling demented,

Sprout was not ready. Sprout is gone to tell the other sprouts all about you. They will send you one that is ready. Don't hate. Thank Sprout, and dh and quietly get ready for next visit.

Have been exactly there.

Dear MIL- I'm a nice person, please like me. Please look at your grandchildren, they're lovely boys and even if you don't deserve them, I'd like them to have a relationship with you.

Dear FIL- it's okay to let go now.

Dear Dad- Please don't contest Mum's will, you're tearing us apart with your selfishness and you just don't get it. Of course I don't want to chat.

Dear Mum- I miss you and I want you back and I don't know how to live without you. I'm sorry, so sorry, I'm sorry you ever had to be on your own. I would give anything for one more day with you.

Dear DSs- You are my world. I'm sorry I get grumpy and cry sometimes. You are amazing.

Dear DH- Thank you for loving me.

Thanks Seth, feeling very low at moment. Nice to know you.

Dear Friday night

You're my favourite part of the week. I wonder if you might be so kind to last just a leeeeeeeeetle bit longer?

And, while you're extending yourself (so to speak), please could you find something good to be put on television? Tonight, for example, it is all - without exception - shit.

Yours in anticipation,

Imps

Dear 20 week old embryo,

It is now time for you to stop giving me morning sickness and migraines. I am fekking bored of it and it's really beginning to put me off the idea of you. I hope you are a bloody amazing baby to make up for the last four and a half months of shit you've put me through. Oh, and if you come earlier than 37 weeks and I have to have you in hospital (instead of having a home birth) then I might just bloody leave you there.

See you in 17-20 weeks' time ( and not before)

Your loving mother.

Dear Cancer
Fuck off and leave them both alone.

Dear DH
Thank you for everything - you are my best friend - you treat me with such love and respect and you always put me first.
Being with you is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Even when you are ill you are more concerned with my comfort and well being than your own.
Love IL

Dear Big Dog
When you squash yourself into little dog's basket you look very foolsih. Also you can't be comfortable.
Little Dog's basket is not better than your basket, honestly.
Love IL

Dear Boss
Thank you for being so supportive of all my ideas and plans this term - much appreciated.
IL

Dear Fatuous Colleague
Thank goodness the holdiays have arrived and I will not have to listen to your vacuous whittering for two weeks.
IL

Dear Melikalikimaka

I'm so sorry about your wonderful brother. He sounds lovely. Sometimes life is so unfair.
Thinking of you.

love Seth xxx

Dear World and God,

please return my beautiful big brother to me, he died aged 55 suddenly 2 weeks ago and I haven't stopped crying.

He was a really great guy, hardworking, just found love again after a drought.

Why take him?

Of all the evil people walking this earth......

Dear DC

Please go to sleep early so I can shag your father.

Love Fab5.

Dear Superiors at School:

I know you think that my student can't do much because of her ASD. She can . And I know I'm just a lowly aide, but I know that kid inside and out and she can do anything if you push her. "Normal" is a very wide span, and I believe with every fiber of my being that there is room for her on it. We just have to work hard and make her do the same. I know you think I'm being stubborn and naieve, but I'm just right. And I'm not sure why you don't see that, since almost every single sentence you say begins with, "well, it turns out you were right last time but..." I am right. I know I'm not supposed to be, because I don't have a degree and I don't take all the inservices and I don't put all children with autism in the same box, but I am. She is not "children with autism" . She is one child and she can do better. I am right. I am good, very good, at what I do. (I'm not being conceited because trust me, I am good at very little else.) But I am good at this. I know what I'm talking about.

I AM RIGHT.

Sincerely, Cheerful

Dear kids,

how about an early night tonight?

love Mum x

Dear John
It's now 13 years later and I still think about you every day. I never played "games" I just loved you so intensely I didn't know how to behave normally

Dear S
Even though we hardly saw each other anymore I still thought of you as a brother and miss you so much. Our family will never get over losing you.
NG xx

Dear DB
I wish I'd written the letter a week earlier. I wish I hadn't been so stubborn. I wish you'd met my DH. I wish you'd answered the phone to DM and DF rather than tying that noose. I wish I didn't have to miss you the rest of my life.
Your DlittleSis

Dear DH
Thank you for being so amazing. Please don't get fed up with me. I'm trying to cope I really am
Your ever loving DW

Dear Ironing Pile,

I've managed to get to nearly the bottom of you. Please do not multiply again!

LGC

Dear MIL and Mother,

I will lose weight, just please accept that it really has nothing to do with you both. And I'm not just cheerful because I'm fat, i really am a glass half full person.

And MIL, I will buy that table.

LGC

Dear DH,

I do love you very much.

LGC

Dear low carb diet,
Thank you for working and for getting me back to the way I used to be. I could not live with you at this level forever but you have done wonders for the way I feel about myself.

Dear botttle of wine,
Stop looking at me. It's too early even though it's Friday.

Dear summer,
Please hurry up.

Dear people in the shops on the high street.
Thank you for being so nice and letting us put the flyers on display. For some reason I was really dreading bringing them round.

Dear nasty cystitis feelings from last night.
I can't believe you went away. Thank you so very muchly.

Dear hot cross bun
If you knew how much snackery I'd gobbled today you would do the decent thing and cling to the inside of your packet.

Dear builder
I really didn't think you would ever finish rendering the wall but you really have turned a corner today. Well done.

Dear MrsArch,

I second every word you say. I always taught my boys to think for an extra 30 seconds before they did something - there are consequences for our every action.

Well said
Love Shabbs x

Dear drivers everywhere

Please please slow down on residential roads, especially parents driving their dear LOs to school and they're late and so drive at 40+mph. Stop driving half switched on.

It upsets me to see parents who have no thought for anyone else. At least I can sort of understand (not forgive) single young male speed demons. I'd hope parents should have some thought for other peple's kids at least?

Is it really so important that you'd risk a life?

Cheers

Dear Top, thank you for fitting me . You are just a little scrap of material but you don't realise that you have actually cheered me up.

Welcome to my (much loved) wardrobe xx

Dear DH,
Whether you realise it or not (and I think you do) you quite literally saved my life when you came into it seven years ago, I was on a downward spiral (drink, drugs, terrible relationship choices and more) that I would never have got out of by myself. I can never repay what you have done to my life. Till we hop the twig, as you said when you asked me to marry you. Oh yes.

Dear stepdaughters,
You are such wonderful girls and entirely transformed my attitude to children and family.

Dear baby DS (who came after four lost sprouts),
Words cannot express how I love you, and the new feelings that you have brought into my life, the immense love, the terrible fear of anything happening to you, the excitement and joy when I see your little smiley face every morning.

Dear parents,
I do not judge you nearly as harshly now as I did for many years. Yes, you made some (substantial) mistakes, and you don't even seem to be aware of that, but parenting is HARD and no-one could ever say you did not put your all into it.

Dear me,
Stop worrying about everything so much and enjoy your life. You cannot contol everything. Sometimes you have to just let it be.

Dear A, B and C.
I reported you all to the police for pushing drugs. I don't normally interfere with other people's lives but dealing to kids makes you scum IMO.

Dear D, I would have reported you for bragging that you were importing drugs in double layered Woks but my spirit was broken. Don't EVER come to my house again. Now He has gone you are not welcome. I never liked you even though everyone else though you were some kind of 'legend'. I think you are a moron.

Dear E. I reported you to the police for drink driving , and it makes me glad now I see you walking everywhere.

Dear F, G, H and J, you broke me . I am being fixed but will always have cracks and chips and never quite trust anyone ever again. F, G and H, you were supposed to love and protect me so why? J, I hope you just fall of the planet because the thought of ever seeing you or bumping into you makes me physically sick.

Dear K. You made me feel like shit last weekend, don't do it again. Nobody gets a third chance with me anymore.

Dear DS and DD. You both rock my world. Even though you make me tear my hair out, I love you more than Apple Pie xx

Dears AngelsFingers... Everything will be alright, it will just take time. (( ))

Dear Mum. I wish you would leave him so you could spend the rest of your life learning to live, But I know you can't. Always here for you..

Dear Gums-where-wisdom-teeth-previously-where

If you'd stop hurting, that would be greatly appreciated. It's been 8 days already.

Tah

Dear new colleague who I didn't realise how annoying you were

You're annoying. And cricket is very dull, please stop talking about it all the time.

Dear DD
If you put things away like i ask you too then you wouldn't lose them
Your Mum

Dear DH
Meeting up with your ex behind my back was not cool, even though it was innocent it looked far worse from your facebook messages, tell me next time, if fact there will be no next time let her sort her own shit out
Your ever suffering wife

Hi Katiewatie,
I feel your pain having been there myself. I didn't even get the fake love on production of the grandchild