Dear *

Should have bolded Sieglinde two posts up x

garlicbutter thank you

I am being me but it's making poor old dh very unhappy. He's always been kind, considerate and supportive but unfortunately doesn't like it that I'm spreading my wings so far now that the dcs are older. He wants to 'spend more time together' - errrr... sorry but NO!

Dear Sieglinde,

I'm so sorry about your Tessa. What a beautiful name. I don't know you but I do know that it wasn't because you worked long hours. It wasn't your fault. And I also believe that yes, you will hold her one day. I really hope that you can take comfort in the part of yourself that believes both of these things, too. They are both true.

Dear DH

I love you so much. And so much more than I show you, sometimes. I will try to do better. You are still my best buddy and I still have a mad crush on you.

Dear DD

There are no words big enough or beautiful enough to describe my love for you. You are everything and more than everything and your presence in my life fills me with gratitude.

Dear Mom and Dad

"May you have a strong foundation when the winds of changes shift" - words from the song that you chose for my christening, and that you used to sing to me as a lullaby. I miss you every single day, and I wish with all my heart that you were here to enjoy your grandchildren and your old age together. But I want you to know that you did give both M and me a strong foundation, and because of that we are both OK despite losing you so young. We've found wonderful partners and have beautiful children who know you as Gamma and Pop Pop. And we no longer fight like cats and dogs. We love each other dearly and even tell each other that.

Dear Pelvic Floor

I thought we were friends. I thought we'd got back to the good old days. I really thought I could count on you. I know I didn't warn you we were going to Zumba, but I really don't think I deserved the nasty surprise you gave me.

Buck up please.

Yours,

BB

Dear DS:

The last trimester of the pregnancy with you and the two months after were among the most terrible of my life. PND is so terrible. I thought I was going to feel like that for the rest of my life. I felt like I would never see the sun again.

My darling, I would go through it all again a thousand times for you. You are so funny and bright and lovely. My sunny little blondie, dancing to the radio and making a "glitter picture", I love you so much. I'm sorry I have so little patience to play trains. (Thank you for reminding me to be a Really Useful Engine.) I'm sorry I shout sometimes. I love you, Mama

Dear Mother of a Boy in DS' Class:

It's absolutely fine that your little boy likes to play dress up and with dolls and is quiet. Of course it is! By the same token, it's fine that my DS likes to run and jump and throw balls and vrroom trucks. They're different, and that's ok. My DS is one of the most gentle people I know; please do not say he is aggressive because he's more boisterous than your DS. I understand your defensiveness when it comes to your little boy, and I'm delighted he has you in his corner. But please do not act as though there is something wrong with my son! Would you like to bring your DS over to play some time? I'm sure we could find some common ground. -CheerfulYank

bloody hell, 40+ :(

Be you!!! x

Dear DH

I'm sorry I'm such a rubbish wife. You really deserve so much better but I gave so much of myself to being a SAHM for 12 whole years and now I haven't changed I've just gone back to being me.

fp

Dear red wine,

After what you did to me and my mate the other night, no way am I picking up where we left off. You bastard.

Dear DH,

Thankyou for taking the weekend off to rip the carpets up. It's a grim job and I'm v glad I don't have to do it.

Dear reproductive system,

Either get on with the baby stuff or don't, but stop causing me pain. And if you're not going to bother with another baby, please can you stop doing periods? They are rubbish.

Dear DD
I am so so sorry I yelled at you just now. I just need you to go to bed when its bedtime. I try to be a loving mum and hate myself when I lose patience and shout at you. I'm worried about the sprout and whether s/he is still there, and dreading the scan on Wednesday and what it will show. Perhaps I'm just too old to be a mum again, with all the risks. I should have been happy with my perfect little one - you. Worried its all going to go wrong.

CQ. X

Dear Woman who was in McDonalds earlier.

I hope he doesn't speak to you and your kids like that all the time. I was silently egging you on to walk out of there and leave him mouthing off to himself. I noticed he went quiet when those soldiers stood behind him in the queue. Not so big and manly then, was he?

I could feel your embarrassment (and it showed in your face) - you shouldn't have been but HE should have.

FP x

Dear Friday

thank you for being SO much better than thursday - yesterday's post included falling over, banging baby's head and 12 month jabs - but you have brought an offer (above asking price) on our abode AND a job offer for DH!

Dear Cancer,

Fuck the fucking fuck off and when you get there fuck the fuck off some more you fucker. If you were a person I would kill you for what you did to my baby girl.

Dear G,
You damaged him beyond repair. I will do my best all my life to make things better for him but you do this. With your drugs and your drinking and your behaviour. I want you to know that he never hears a bad word against you from any of us but only because we love him. You starved my boy. You wouldnt feed him and your lack of love stopped his little brain making the connections it needed to. He will live with this all his life but I will do whatever it takes to make his life wonderful. I thank you for producing this remarkable child and I wish that you would do better for your DD than you did for him. There is a place for her here if you dont. I know you would rather die than let that happen but I care about her, not you. I hope one day that you will sort yourself out and stop damaging yourself and everyone around you. You deserve a good life despite what you have done.

Dear DH

PS I meant it about the vasectomy though!

Dear DH

Thank you for never saying "I told you so" even though you did.

Dear OP,
Thank you for this patchwork quilt of our thoughts.

Most humble bowings and scrapings,

MT

Dear Slough Social Services,
No, quite frankly, after 36 years, there is nothing you could ever say to me that would convince me to introduce my 4 wonderful DC's to that broken down bag of a mother.

She's your problem now.

YS, MT

Dear Mother,
Yes, I'm very sorry that C died in the fire, but I'm amazed it hadn't happened before then. It's proper and fitting that SS should look after you - after walking out on us when I was six, and having had a lifetime of emotional problems because of you and your behaviour, I no longer feel that I should ruin my life to try and save you. Good luck and all that. But you will NEVER see your GC-en and that'll only be your fault.

Fuck the fuck off and have the decency to die.

MT

Dear DS2,
PLEASE stop putting your hand down your pants - I know I'm supposed to be open and accepting (after all, you are only 2!) but it's only a matter of time before I scream 'DON'T TOUCH IT - IT'S DIRTY!!' (with poo, may I add!)

Lots of love

Mummy
x

Dear DD, Sorry you have to have periods. From here on, being a woman can be quite shit at times, but it can also be fantastic when you share that life with another person that came out of you! Love Mum x

Dear DS1, You're so lovely when you're not trying to be like your knob of a dad, please let some of your SD rub off on you instead! Love Mum x

Dear DS3, You are just the most amazing baby ever (shhh, don't tell the others!) - I cannot believe how lucky I am to have you and I hope you won't have to have the same op that DS1 had. Love Mum x

Dear SM and Dad,
I don't NOT do the housework because I'm lazy - I leave it because I hurt, every day, all day, and I have the energy of a gnat. True illness tends to have that effect on people. And no, I can't just 'get some fresh air and exercise' and it will all go away. And yes, I'm very pleased that you're fit and enjoy all your activities at your age, but we will never be like you, and no matter what I do, it will never be enough for you. My children will always be my first and foremost priority. Unlike you, who thought it was absolutely fine to leave me with all and sundry, which resulted in the events which triggered this illness in the first place. And no, I'm not pretending or making it up. This illness is very real. Either buck up and help or get on with your 'activities' - up to you, but don't expect me to EVER forgive you and Dad, because I'm just not capable of it.

MT

Dear ex
I hate you, you smell, and stop feeding the kids crap and being the fun dad. I wish DH and I could take them away forever but seeing as I'm a reasonable human being, we can't. Get your teeth sorted out.
Oh and fucking grow up and get a life, you're nearly 40.

MT

Dear DH,
You are so wonderful, I thank the universe EVERY day for you, and that I didn't marry that TWAT. How you put up with me and my shit every day is beyond my ken, but I just hope that I've showed you how much I love you by doing the only thing I could in having DS's 3 &4. I'm sorry I'm such a shite housewife, but we will beat this thing together.

Love you reallyshouldn'twriteanymorezillions xxxxxxxx

Dear DS

Thank you for being so good about going to nursery more, being handed round friends and GPs, going to bed nicely, eating nicely and just being such a superstar whilst I have been laid up with HG. And for coming to see me in hospital and befriending all the old ladies.

I think it'll be worth it in October when (fingers crossed) you have a sibling. Goodness knows what you'll think.

Dear M, J, O and H

Thank you for encouraging me to come out with you today. I needed to get out of the house after 5 weeks in bed/hospital. Even if just to the play park. I hope the HG is subsiding and I can come out to play more. I might even bring DS with me next time.

Dear ex-MIL I am allowed to buy things for myself I do earn my own money. Also I know you lie about things so please give me a bit of credit I'm really not that stupid. I will never stop you seeing your gc because they love you and think the world of you.

Dear ex-h the DC's are growing so quick and you are missing so much. If it is to get at me get over it. I will not ask you, you are a grown up and I am not your wife.

Dear DM I miss you

BM

Dear Fradulant Psychic,

You convinced my mother that her mother (my grandma) was somehow bound to the earthly plain and needed your 'assistance' in moving on to the spiritual one.

Well done! You wrung tears and money from a desperate grieving woman, and you broke her heart all over again. You are a morally bankrupt, shrieking harridan who deserves nothing but my bile and contempt, and no amount of wet eyed, feather waving, spiritual fuckery foo will allow you to avoid my questions when i show up at your door to get that money back on her behalf.

still, as a psychic you already know that don't you ?

Kaiki

Oh and dear Demented,
I lost 2 sprouts too, it wasn't anybodies fault and I'm sure all our sprouts are playing somewhere on a cloud and having fun, big hugs, my heart goes out to you xxx

Dear MIL,
You were a poor excuse for a mother and your children didn't deserve the things you did to them, especially abandoning my DH when you knew he had a mental health problem and 3 months after his father had died - he was only 16 for fucks sake! You then condoned his half sister stealing ALL of his inheritance and didn't report her for fraudently spending thousands of pounds that weren't hers ? even when the bank said you should. Why on earth you kept allowing her to manipulate you into 'borrowing' thousands more while you were old and weak is beyond me. The whole family hates her and we only put up with her for your funeral. I?ve been watching DH mourn you, then he beats himself up because he is convinced you never loved him. I'm glad I got to challenge you on the phone when you refused to help him again the year before last; but as I said at the time, you forget that I was there and I heard the things you said and saw the things you did. You are a liar and there's no point in denying the truth. Strange thing is, he still loved you, you were the only mother he had.

Dear FIL,
I wish I had known you and that you could see DH now. You would absolutely love your grandchildren! DH and I spend lots of time in your home country and may even move there one day. He talks about you often and I know you are always in his thoughts. You wouldn?t believe what your wife did to the family after you went, it was truly despicable!

Dear DH,
It hurts to see you going through this pain, I wish I could do something to fix it all. She must have loved you in her own way, how could she not!? You are doing so well and I'm so proud you haven't turned back to the weed when you could have. I'm also proud of you for staying off it so long! I love you but I don't love your illness and what it does to you, I hate it and it's not fair on any of us. . Thank you for being such a wonderful Dad to the 3 DC's and for taking on DS and DD1 as your own, they really do love you! You are DD2's world and she absolutely adores you - please use this as motivation to get yourself better or at least manage through the illness. I pray that one day when she is older you will be well enough to come to her school plays/sports days etc. You know me better than anybody on this planet and I?m so glad we found each other again. I?m sorry I married xh and lost my virginity to him; I honestly didn?t know you cared all those years ago. But we?re here now and somehow struggling through life! Please listen to me a bit more, it pisses me off when you draw too much money out at the cashpoint and I?m trying to balance the finances so carefully. I know you?ll never really ?grow up? but you are an amazing Daddy, even if you do piss me off on a daily basis! It would be nice if we could have a ?sesh? soon, I need one of those fabulous multiples, they are really, really nice! xx831xx

Dear DS,
I am so proud of you and the way you have handled splitting up with your gf recently. It took guts to do it but you did the right thing and hopefully you can live a fulfilling and free life now. Please stick out college ? I know you don?t like it but I honestly don?t think you could handle a full time job right now. What a relief you remembered to take the rubbish out this week as I think we would have had full blown wars if you hadn?t again. We love having your mates here, sorry that they still visit when you?re out but I guess it?s an unofficial youth club here these days! Love from Mum xx

Dear DD1,
I am very proud of you too! You are growing into such a lovely young lady and the world really is your lobster. I pray that you continue to study hard so you can be a millionaire when you grow up which is your current dream. You are thoughtful and loving and beautiful and you are your own person, I couldn?t want more for you! Love from Mum xx

Dear DD1,
Well, you?re only 3 but you are absolutely amazing! Those months in the hospital when you were little frightened the life out of all of us. We have learnt more from you than anybody else in the world, you are an over-comer and truly an inspiration! I pray you don?t have to have a wheelchair when you get bigger but no worries if you do, you?re still our little pickle either way. Please try to use the toilet more, I?m worried you will never be able to know if you need a poo and until you start using the toilet we?ll never know. I do worry about your future, I?ve been told it?s natural; but one thing I?m sure of is that whatever is thrown at you, you will tackle it head-on and you won?t let it hold you back. You are amazing! Love from Mummy xx

Dear ovarian cyst/ovaries,
I was so relieved to hear that you weren?t cancerous, but I really wish you?d just fuck off and stop causing me so much pain when I have a family and house to run. I got over a hysterectomy and I?ll get over you if I have to but it would be so much easier if the doctors just took you away, you?ve served me well over the years but it?s time for us to go our separate ways. I don?t relish the thought of clinical menopause, but anything is better than this pain!

I really could write forever, I have letters in my head for my parents and lots of other people but I have to get the kids to bed. Thank you OP for this, it is truly cathartic!!!

Dear mum and dad,
Moving away from our hometown when we did was yhe most traumatic thing that has every happened to me and I still cry about it. I know you love tour new life, and you deserve it. I agree that moving away from my old friends has made me a "better" person, I'm married, have a good career (which means me living in a city 200 miles from you and 450 miles from my friends) but no one ever asked me if I actually wanted to. I didn't. I'm lonely.

Dear dh,
I love you, your wonderful. But it makes me another level of sadness knowing that I can never have you, my family and my friends all in one place. Your job is everything to you, and I'm so proud of you, but I'm stuck here, miles away from my friends and family and I'm lonely. It's also hard to get pregnant when your only home two nights a fortnight.

My beautiful family, I'm so lonely, and I miss you all so much. I sometimes close my eyes and wish really really hard that we could just all live in the same frigging county. Me, dh,and you.

Thanks,
Black coffee

Dear X

You can't hide for ever. I will get you.

Dear A

I miss you.

FAB5.

Dear XH

Thank you for leaving me. Thank you for giving me the chance to be the person I could never have been if we'd stayed together.

Dear *

Thank you for helping me be the person I am turning into. I hope that either (i) this possible way of keeping you in my life works out, or (ii) our paths cross again in the future.

Dear Melika,

I cannot imagine the pain you are going through. I hope you can take heart in the fact that others are thinking of you at this time.

BAH

Dear DH

Please hurry up and come home from work. I miss you and 7am will come along too quickly and you'll be gone again.

Your loving DW xxxxx