Dear *

Dear Molly the Cat

Sweetie, I know that the birds are chirping and the sun is coming up but that does not mean that I need to get up and feed you at 4.30am!! Please refrain from jumping on me/meowing in my ear/patting my nose at this god forsaken hour!

Thanks

Dear World

Please don't encourage celebrities. Ignore them and they'll go away.

Dear lazy woman,
my job level is assistant (hint- it's in my job title!), so please get off your ass! stop playing with that damn phone, and get on with your work. As i am sick of picking up after you!

i don't care what you did last Saturday, and who you saw kissing while drunk!
For the love of god please stop putting half a bottle of perfume on you! it might help to wash that damn face too.
if that all seems too much then get your head out of your ass.

Dear Pay Role,
Why every time you ring to quiry something with pay it must not be my folt that my pay is wrong every single time!

Dear Norks

Thank you
Muumylouise

Dear Tuesday,

You are the day of my first scan appt and I'm terrified and excited in equal amounts. Please hurry up and arrive so I can hopefully have some peace of mind and start to believe this good thing is really happening to me.

Dear DH,

I do love you, really I do, and I appreciate all you do around the house and the fact that in October I am going to give up work and you are going to be supporting me and our DC, but if you pick a fight with me about the housework when I'm on the verge of passing out ever again I will remove your testicles and make them into earrings.

dear boys,

I am so glad I got you. I love you more and more every year!
I am so glad we get to spend some time together this holidays
Dear Dh, next year, ds1 won't want to spend time with us as a family. Please stop being grumpy and tetchy and take a couple of days off to spend with them. They love you so much and I know you love them.
x

Dear DD1's best friend

I know you are going through a tough time at the moment but could you stop being such a massive show-off and being evil to DD2 just because you aren't used to having other kids around and want to monopolise DD1.

Dear willpower

please come home - I'm on my 2nd alcoholic drink of the evening and I'm contemplating a sneaky fag.

S x

Dear boyfriend,

I love you to distraction, but please, please learn to use the correct 'your'/'you're'. I've been correcting you for a year now.

Thanks. You're awesome and I am amazed at how clever you are, but your grammar drives me crackers!

Lots of love,
K

Dear Curry I Ate Last Night

You have fucked up my digestion big time

Dear Husband,

If you open something throw the wrapper in the bin,
If you get out a mug, close the cupboard,
If you eat something, please put the plate in not on the dishwasher

Thank you

Dear Dad,

It is coming up to your 6th anniversary and we still miss you so much. I wish you could have met your grandchildren and have known that one of them shares your birthday and the other your name.

Dear Ds2,

Please sleep! You are a fab kid, but love of god, your sleeping is rubbish.

Dear DH
I also love you to pieces, your great with our DS who doesn't always sleep at night, and thank you for getting up with him when I have been ready to drop.
Also for giving me a break on an evening when it's bath time.
Love Bod xx

Dear mum
Thanks for being there when I needed you have been at my side my whole life and I am eternally grateful I love you x
We don't always see eye to eye and yes sometimes you annoy me and I'm sur I do you too.
But I don't think I could have coped with DS for the past 2 1/2 years without your support during the days
Love bod xx

Dear DS.

I love you to infinity and beyond but could you please please please just stop talking for 5minutes or bedtime might come sooner than you think.

x

Dear Bumpsadaisy

I know exactly how you feel, I am in that grim first trimester place too. 12 weeks. But we know it'll be worth it eh? Come on Beany Bike and Beany Bumps, give us a break!

Bike

Dear DS
I Love you to the end of the earth, I'm sorry your life started with a big bump but I want to make amends, and with your co-operation we will get there, but I need your help. So please start enjoying your physio, and not just the bit where nanny falls off the ball in demonstration.

Love Mummy xxx

Dear DD
Please go to sleep now. No I'm not reading you another story (you have had 4) and I'm not singing another lullaby. Just shut your eyes and lie still. You are very tired and you have school in the morning.

I love you tho.
BBT

Dear Eggs, please can you get fertilised so I can be pregnant again. I know that you are probably waiting for the "right time" but we have been TTC since December 2008 and I'm getting slightly impatient.

Fled

Dear DS1, please can you stop throwing a flakey at every opportunity. I adore you but I'm exhausted with you fighting with your younger brother and its so wearing constantly telling you off. You can be such a good boy most of the time but when something doesnt go your own way, you just have melt-down.

Mummy

Dear DH, get a f**king job! I'm sick of working every hour god sends just because all the jobs you see that fit in with uni would bore you.

Fled

Dear mumsnet
Thank you for keeping me company on these long tediously housebound days with a poorly child. You make me laugh and cry and unlike other forums I have tried, you are gloriously blunt and grown up. I love the lack of treading on eggshells: real support is not just saying what people want to hear.
Oh, bur if you could somehow be a little less addictive please, I have things to do.
BBB

Dear friend,
Why did you take him back after he'd thrown you physically out of the house while your DS was inside crying for mummy? How many times will I have to pick up the pieces?
Galena

Dear DD,
Sorry if mummy is a bit distracted at the moment. The referral from the physio because she fears your non-walking is more of a problem than we first thought threw me somewhat. I know you're still the gorgeous, funny, cheeky and clever girl you've always been and that won't change.
Mummy

Dear DD

Sorry mummy won't be with you to celebrate your second birthday next week. Tears for you every day of my life until we meet again. Looking at your baby brother, I am lucky to have a glimpse of what you would have looked like. I always give him an extra kiss dedicated to you.

Sorry that nobody can be bothered to clear the dead flowers from your grave when I can't visit for a long time. Breaks my heart more than anyone knows. Sorry that I cry when I see the dead flowers. I hope my tears don't weigh on you whilst you rest.

Love you my little girl. Please come and visit me in my dreams again. It is the only thing that comforts the dead spot inside me.

x

Dear ExH

Man the fuck up, put your hand in your pocket, and make sure the kids have enough to eat, never mind any of the extras. I know you think you're smart cos you got the CSA to take £5 a week off my IS for maintenance for our oldest son (which you 'look after') but you won't believe the amount of people who think you are a complete twunt for not taking care of the other 3 who live with me.

Dear ExBF

I still love you. I want to hate you. I can't help it.

Dear Current BF

Thank you for being there, thank you for putting up with my demands about not meeting the kids yet. I know it's hard cos I have very little free time, and I know you would love to meet them but I'm scared (see above). Humour me, they will like you so much more in the end. And I'm not avoiding the 'L' word, I'm scared (again, see above).

Dear D

It will get better. I don't want to tell you this over the phone, or to your face, cos it seems so shit just now, but it will. Everybody who matters knows what a dick he is, so don't waste any more energy on him.

Phew, that's better.

A

Dear Thornrose

Yes.

Love from Pedant