Thickos on TripAdvisor

"the bar staff felt just like family! so welcoming. always offering us drinks!" Um, isn't that their JOB?

Reviews of a London hotel:

?...There were scuff marks (I hope they were scuff marks!) on the walls. As you walk up to the B&B you see the gate hanging by a thread trying to prevent unwitting guests from crossing the threshold into the devil's bowels....?

?...When we arrived we weren't shown to our room, merely given a general direction in which to walk...? who made the joke about being blindfolded and shoved towards the lifts? [GRIN]

?..... I asked the guy behind the desk if he could arrange a couple of sandwiches for us as we had to leave early to meet friends at Heathrow for the second leg of our trip to Crufts. He started giving me 110 excuses as to why he could not help me. I said, "Thanks not to worry" and went to our room to change to go out for dinner.

Two minutes later a knock at our door, it was him, I asked what his problem was, now I don't know if this guy was smoking something or if he suffers from some form of babbling sickness, he tells me that he thinks I have bad manners.

So I gave him at taste of bad manners & slammed the door in his face. 5 minutes later he is still babbling out side our door. I don't think that man is firing on all cylinders. The next morning at ± 05h10 we leave the hotel to catch an early tube to Heathrow, I drop the keys on the counter & I see it is the same creature on duty, we walked out.

NOW COMES THE BEST PART. About half way up the road my wife asks if I could hear the shouting, I stopped & looked in the direction of the noise, ITS HIM. I walked back to the hotel. P.S he runs behind the counter, I was now totally pissed off. I asked him what his %^@ problem was this time. Remember this hotel you pay before you sleep & secondly I have my receipt.
It has the audacity to tell me that I have not paid, WHAT is the man doing in a hotel if IT can't even read. I walked out of the hotel, correction, building. when we turned the corner
which is ± 100 meters away we could still hear him ranting & raving. PLEASE PLEASE warn other travellers about this place...?

OK, enough moaning about foreign hotels being full of foreigners, who will persist in speaking their own language ? so what delights do our own hoteliers offer the discerning traveller? :

?My room had its own unique charactar with graffitti gouged into the headboard which is in 12" high letters across the whole area.....
The 1 prison issue blanket (which is interesting as if you were kept in a prison in these conditions it would probably be deemed a breach of your human rights but we get to be charged for it!) and dubious bed cover have probably never seen a washing machine -i slept in my clothes and got out of there without even contemplating experiencing breakfast. ?

?....We weren't expecting anymore than the 3's or wot we paid for but place was a nightmare ....rooms set out in blocks like blocks of council flats or butlins circa1990 and left u feeling very vulnerable as easy access and none too secure.Once inside the room u find a very dated cold poorly furnished room.........grandma's eiderdown complete with blood stains and curtains to match...and don't even start me on the prison issue blanket !?

*

I can go on at length of all the negatives I've encountered [so s/he does]but will list the points as there are quite a few:

1. The wireless internet did not work anywhere in the building for which I received no compensation
2. The only computer available was the Windows 98 machine by the reception area with a rate of £6 per hour for internet. I lost £6 as I discovered the internet on that also didn't work. No refund was given.
3. The staff are rude and most of them laugh and joke amongst themselves pretending to be busy so as not to serve you.
4. The central heating is loud and the windows don't shut properly and let a lot of sound (from cars) in.
5. The TV is no bigger than 10 inches and reception is exceptionally bad so most channels are not watchable.
6. The sheets had blood stains on them
7. The carpets were extremely unclean
8. The towels had a very bad smell to them with faint stains on them.
9. It was impossible to sleep as the sounds and vibrations of love making on either side of the room found its way into my room. Not only does this mean sleepless nights but also reduced privacy for your self should you engage in these activities.

There are some good points in my experience:

1. All the lights worked
2. You get a card to open your door and not keys

all reviews of the same hotel in Birmingham

I know DH and I look forward to holidays because we can spend time together and just have quiet time! How poncy! No music, no entertenenement. Maybe one baby disco, but only for our own amusement. Our scruffy kids trying to dance in step to the well coiffed, properly dressed off spring of the local Russian mafia. That's Cyprus baby! So boring. That's why we like camping, I don't need to change for dinner!

I am still a bit gobsmacked about how everyone seems to go on holiday and expects to be "entertained" every night! I would not go on a holiday like this.

Dd likes a baby disco, and has done Siblu talent evenings in the past. Occasionally we have hung about in the bar as there was a reasonably good band/singer on. Otherwise we go out, or go to our room/caravan. Do some people truly have no imagination? Do they pay to go to one place and stay there for 2 weeks?

I would say 'bosted arsehole' is a Black Country phrase.

i did spot your username and it reminded me of the very poor food in the hotel on my first visit to Cyprus. :) i didn't complain though, just went out and found nice food! twas a very cheap holiday.

Or...a la Gavin and Stacey: "in a four star, in Greece, you expect clean sheets every day, so I hid a wine gum in one pillow case and another wine gum in the other pillow case...".
You couldn't make it up tbh. Brilliance. We've just come back to the UK from a 3 year stint in Cyprus, daily I read facebook statuses complaining about the locals, how bloody dare they! The level of ignorance and xenophobia is breath taking. Little comments about the lack of decent sausages etc. The state of the roads, the rudeness of Cypriots in supermarkets etc the list goes on. It made me chuckle!

So, just to recap then:

They serve all the Spanish first, it's mostly Spanish there, the Spanish look at you as though you are a turd, there's an annoying Spanish dude blowing a whistle and it's all in Spanish, and 'making your own fun' is not appreciated by the Spanish.

Just in case you were in any doubt about how she feels about the Spanish.

makes it even better. The well written, but outraged revies are in a slightly posh, but regional type accent in my head. I am a bit strange.

I am hearing that voice now...

I killed it .

Is anyone else reading these reviews in that voice that Victoria Wood does? The character who's always waiting "fer me mate, Kimberley." [old]

I can't resist this thread - having a slow evening at work is not helping...might look for more revies to bore you with now

Bloody Benidorm is full of Spaniards too, for feck's sake!

if you have already booked for here i feel for you i really do!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just got back on monday and thankgod we only stayed for a long weekend,the staff are ignorant and serve all spanish first and its mostly spanish holiday makers there,the spanish all look at you asthough your a turd, the food is mingin pigs trotters slimy liver and fried eggs for lunch with bread rolls full of flies,the hotel smells like a stinkbomb has gone off and the resturaunt smells of gone off kippers,you get told all the time it was like bein at school.thankgod the nitelife is only ten mins walk away because you cant stay in the hotel for the night (we were all inclusive) the entertainment is a annoyin spanish dude blowin a whistle and its all in spanish we spent up by the 3rd night and pratically lived off kfc and chips,dont eat the burgers or sausage theyre rank and half cooked,we made our own fun though which wasnt appreciated by the spanish oh and the pool is small and dont get the water from it in your mouth it tastes of pee!!!!! only stay here if u only want a bed cause belive me its not good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am reading between the lines, that they were ALL a bit pissed

a face like a 'bosted ar**hole'

What IS that?

I am going to The Hollies at once. I think I may love Beverley and Ian even more than Maureen and Roger.

This is why I never stay in B&B's.

Oh how I love the punchline to this one - Bev sounds like a real character

Don't do it!?
Date of review: 21 Aug 2009
My husband and I have recently been to St Ives for a friend's wedding and stayed at The Hollies. We travelled with two relatives.

We arrived at the B & B at 12.15pm and I was greeted by Beverley. Beverley told me I was far too early, that rooms are not usually ready until after midday. I looked at my watch and it was 12.15pm so I could not understand what the issue was!

After some time waiting Beverley came back to me and informed me the room was ready and told me how to get to the car park.

On arrival at the car park Beverley thought we could achieve the impossible by directing us to park in a tiny gap. Ian then came out and took over. He moved what we thought was his car and we were able to park.

Ian was very pleasant to begin with. He gave us the keys and explained what they were for. He told us about the restaurants in town and also told us how to order breakfast. We were then shown to our room.

The room was very small but clean. To get to the other side of the room you had to climb over the bed.

That evening we went out for dinner.

The following day was the wedding day. As it was a nice day we decided to have some photos outside of the hotel before we made our way to the wedding venue. We noticed whilst we were doing this that our car had been moved. It suddenly clicked that somebody must have been into our room the night before and looked through the drawers (without our consent) and taken the keys to move the car. I was astounded by the fact that this had all been done without us being asked. We were never told at any stage that anybody would have to enter our room or asked for our car keys. We would have been quite happy to leave our keys with Ian or Beverley had we been told.

I decided rather than speak to Ian and Beverley at that stage, I would speak to them on the day of departure.

We had a lovely day at the wedding then returned home around midnight. We were invited into a relatives room. I decided to go back to my room and get changed. Whilst doing so I could hear them laughing, they were not shouting or screaming they were just laughing.

I then heard Ian asking them if they could keep the noise down. At this stage one of them decided to ask Ian two questions, first of all, why he had entered their room without knocking the night before when they were in bed, and secondly, why he had moved our car without first getting our consent to do so.

All of a sudden I could hear Ian shouting that he had not burst into their room and that he had told us all that he may need to move the car and that our keys were on the bed rather than in a drawer.

I then tried to calm the situation down by asking everybody to leave it. However, a relative of mine was then told to shut up by Ian.

Eventually Ian left.

The following day I went to breakfast alone, the other three had been drinking at the wedding and so wanted a lie in.

It took some time for a member of staff to serve me that morning, a lady kept looking at me then going back into the kitchen. She eventually came and I mistakenly gave her a different order to the one I had placed the night before, I think I may have ordered two eggs for example rather than one. I heard Ian say to her that I had placed my order the night before and could not change it. It was so petty when you think that three people's breakfasts were available!

I was then joined by my other friend and part way through breakfast Beverley came over and said that she needed to speak to us after breakfast. She did so in front of the rest of the guests. I couldn't believe that I had been spoken to like a child! I would never dream of speaking to anybody in the way she spoke to us.

She came back and told us that we had accused her husband of searching through our belongings for keys. For one, none of us had actually been involved in the incident. She then said that we had to wake everybody up as she did not want them lying in bed all day! When you pay for a room you do not expect to be told when you have to get up!

She also told me that if the others did not give Ian an apology then we would have to find another B & B.

On the way out I spoke to Beverley again. She said that the B & B was her home and that Ian would never go through guests drawers. She said that we had been told they may need our keys. I told her that we had never been told this, if I had then I would have remembered.

Beverley told us that she was upset as her husband had got up that morning with a face like a 'bosted ar**hole' and so she was annoyed hence the reason she spoke to us.

This does not excuse the way we were spoken to and treated at The Hollies.

I would certainly not recommend this B & B.

God I must go there immediately. I've been waiting my whole life to eat at a place where the food actually even half resembles the stuff in the photograph.

"Swimming pool was freezing. I had to check to see if my body parts were still attached."

"23 of us took over block C. Had a fantastic stay, hotel was fun, clean and cheap. Perfect to stay at with friends, i would not recommend this hotel to family's or boring book readers. "

"another apartment broken to and the had a poo in my bath it was so sick i was sick and we went to the rep and she said that was not the first time she heard that omg never go back again EVER "

"I went to Ayia Napa with 2 other girls and we didn't actually stay at these apartments, but we met two groups of boys that did and ended up spending a lot of time there. On our first week we met a group of lads that were staying in apartment 20, they moved and strangely the next group we met also ended up staying in that room" The trollops!

"cyprus has a culture that is so much fun to explore.....And the Mc Donalds.....they actually give you the burger thats on the picture ?! Theyre immense."

" if not for our family there wouldnt of actually been anything going on in the hotel as there was no entertainment"

To me, that says more about their family then it does about the hotel...

LOL at the "quite calm, quite ordinary and quite peaceful" married couple wanting to rip the hotel manager's head off. So, not a psychopath in disguise then...

Just using it for sleeping and bringing people back, nice!

Especially as it seems that they were sharing rooms. The mind boggles.