to wonder if you do weird things when you think you're not observed?

I lick my plate, talk to the cats and talk to myself. When I am pleased with myself (especially after I've been for a jog) I literally pat myself on the back.

i show the cat her face in the mirror. She looks all bemused. I've stopped showing my lizard, as he headbutts his reflection

if I'm driving towards Halton, I always have to find Aylesbury's County Hall on the skyline (it's a big panoramic view over the Chilterns). Even though i'm driving. Even if it's a misty day. I feel it will be bad luck if i can't spot it..

I love this thread. It's cheered me right up

I used to have different coloured cereal bowls. When putting them away the green was never allowed to be next to the blue one and the yellow had to be on top as it's a happy colour. Hated it if DH put them away in the wrong order, he thought it was hilarious! All my bowls are the same colour now, less stressful hee hee

Ooh yes I talk/yell/point out the blindingly obvious to the TV.

I get massively attached to inanimate objects. My dh is very imaginative and can make up amazing stories so much so I haven't been able to eat an apple if he's made up a cute back story.

I almost cried when they filled in the huge pothole that I greeted when I kept on driving over it on my way to work . It then 'moved' close to my house and I'm hoping the council don't fill it in.

TheHuge - definitely! It's why my house never looks clean but I'm always smiling through the mess

Gilbonzo, can I copy your housework style? It sounds wildly inefficient but very fun.

I play peek-a-boo with one of the dogs by covering her eyes with her ears and then uncovering them again while I pull faces at her. How she hasn't ripped my arm off yet and beaten me to death with it, I'll never know...

Wooohooooo! I'm sane! (or as mad as everyone else here)

If I'm counting coins/pairing socks/etc and there is one left over I feel sorry for it and apologise to it.

I can't have a toe or anything overhanging the bed for fear of monsters.

I apologise to doors/walls/toys/etc that I bump into.

If I touch something cold (door handle or similar) with one hand, I have to touch it with the other to balance it out.

I shout at my towel if I've got into the bath and left it hanging the other side of the bathroom. When it doesn't hop down and come over to me I swear at it.

I turn into a SAS trained supermodel when I'm doing the house work - I hold the duster like a gun, kick doors open while hiding behind the wall, poke the duster into the room and burst in shouting at the dust to get down and submit, and do a catwalk walk while I push the hoover along.

Not the maddest but...

Lick plates clean

Can't sleep with arms/legs overhanging the bed or 1.blades will come down and cut them off or 2. Monsters will drag me under the bed

Go up the stairs on all fours

Sing nonsense songs to the dog (occasionally flapping his ears in time to the music whilst he stares resignedly at me)

My Tom Tom lady is called Jane. She is invariably wrong & I tell her so

I'm a learner driver and I push DS around in his pushchair looking in my imaginary rear view mirror and imaginary side ones before I turn left or right

DD walks 100 yards ahead of me even though I'm sure nobody else notices.

I should have added that I say the words out loud as if on a word-type quiz show and as if I am being timed...

When I'm on the loo I choose a 7-letter word from a bottle (of shampoo / shower gel / whatever) and have to make as many words as I can from the letters in it, and I can't get off the toilet til I've got at least 50 words. I make little rules up for it depending on difficulty (can/can't have plurals, can/can't have proper nouns)

I pretend I'm on a cooking programme when I cook, even sometimes going as far as putting ingredients into little individual bowls so I can throw them in like they do on telly.

This is great I actually feel normal now

I talk to the cows and sheep when I'm out running. Got surprised once by a cyclist passing from behind me whilst mooing at the cows

I grumble at the self service checkouts (not even alone then)

i sing at the top of my voice when i hoover
i say hello and goodnight to the tv presenters
if i,m really enjoying a book,i'll go back and re.read it,rather than get to the end.
i tell my dog everything

I 'Grand Prix', my rats-ie, pretend to race them round the house, making Grand Prix car noises.

If I'm in the car on my own I shout at talk to other drivers:

eg."the accelerator pedal is on the right!!!" if they are bumbling along at 17mph in a clear 30 or 40 zone.

"just because you drive a Mercedes it doesn't make you exempt from indicating.... nobhead"

At home I talk to the cat and shout at the TV.

According to my family I also have a concentrating face that I do when I'm engrossed in something.

ooh, i debate with the TomTom lady too! she's insane

I also sleep with the covers over me or monsters will get me, and also, if I got for a wee in the night I walk to the bathroom totally calmly and chilled and finish, then run all the way back to bed so nobody kills me :(

I 'debate' with my tom-tom when I disagree with her instructions. I tell her she's mad and hasn't she thought of how much traffic there generally is along that route this time of day? Cow persists in her opinion and repeatedly tells me the wrong way.

i also fly the cat.
(to the tune Let's go fly a kite)

tis fun, and he knows i do it because i'm going to feed him, so he doesn't run away any more!