to wonder if you do weird things when you think you're not observed?

I once saw police training to be police drivers on telly, they have to say everything they see and do. I do that all the time.
" left corner approaching, red astra parked to the right, changing into 3rd gear, man and dog waiting to cross....." etcetc. I'd pass that test easy

I touch the photos of my dearly-loved Dad, who passed away in 06, and carry a small photo of him everywhere I go. He's now been to India, Turkey & Switzerland and would have been thrilled !

I also cringe for my beloved convertible Beetle when I drive through a puddle because it's just so sad to get that lovely hood wet and muddy. I thank it when it's completed a long journey to my satisfaction !

My kids just nod to each other sagely, confirming what they know - that I'm completely mad !

When I'm on the top deck of a bus I sit at the very front and pretend I'm in a small plane flying down the street.

If I walk along a paved area with anything other than boring set square, right angled slabs, I have to cross my legs each step exaggeratedly, careering from side to side as I traverse the 'wibbly wobbly way'. DD also does this.

I secretly think I'm a very good singer and if only anyone ever heard me they'd agree. Only singing when I'm by myself allows me to continue this delusion.

When I'm in the bathroom with no clothes on I have to 'wobble' myself at the bathroom mirror to see how many bits move. More and more these days

I can't pass an oak tree without singing 'tie a yellow ribbon round an old oak tree', a picture of a badger without going 'badger badger badger badger mushroom mushroom' or see a rainbow without singing the Rainbow theme tune.

I also talk to my dog, the automated checkout machines, and trolley surf.

These have really made me laugh this morning.

The only time I'm ever really on my own is when I'm driving, so I find myself doing a commentary as if I'm test driving a car for Top Gear I describe the handling and acceleration etc. I 'change' the car I'm driving depending on my mood as test driving the same peugeot day in day out got a little boring...

"tobylerone we may well be the same person... yes to all of yours.

was very disappointed to learn that there is already a French version of "Beyond the Sea" as I've had my own version for years."

I am thrilled that someone else does this! When I told a friend of mine (who speaks about 4 languages fluently) he was genuinely baffled. Like "how can someone like you, who is so pedantic about grammar, bear to do this knowing it's incorrect"? I knew I shouldn't have told him

Also do trolley surfing, tube surfing (has that been mentioned yet?) and the 'pretending the song on my iPod is the soundtrack to my life' thing. In fact, my entire life has a soundtrack, all the time. There is always a song in my head. My friend Bri has had the same Weezer song stuck in her head since 1997.

I do ballet moves too!

Sometimes when I am walking with my iPod I put on a really upbeat tune and imagine I am in a film and the song is my sound track.

When I am walking and really knackered I imagine I am on a travellator like you get at the air port or I imagine I am pulling myself along on an imaginary bar along the road

I hate slugs too madamedevere, when we moved into this house, the first summer, one crawled into our living room(our first garden too). DD and I were daring each other to get rid of it, I finally managed to flip it out with a stiff bit of cardboard .

And just try having a shit with a cat sat on your head. I just knew that the bathroom door had a lock for a reason.

all pets have a voice and all other dogs we see too

I love this thread , don't do anything odd as far as I can remember, but was feeling earlier that the world was full of twats. You can't play peekaboo with a dog, or tango a baby and be a twat, I feel it in my bones. Has really cheered me up, people are batty, but fab.

my grandad was always singing the bodyform song - i don't think he knew what they were

another cat flyer here - we have a rather portly dog who waits for his turn to fly too (v serious expression on his face all four paws rigid pointing to the ground)

jettah if you step on each one and say 'toast' then it cancels them out. Yes I do.

I though I was the only trolley surfer that gets horrified looks from the other shoppers entering the aisle (as I'm getting to my world record distance)

I mix Heinz beans with peas and eat them.

All you people with cats and dogs are reassuringly mad and I salute you.

I talk to my guinea pigs and they talk back. The other day one of them responded with some witty repartee and I laughed - like I wasn't expecting it or something.

All dogs announce, 'Look at me!' in the same 'dog voice' I have used since childhood. I was so proud of ds when, as a toddler, he spied a dog from the car and did the phrase and the voice.

So glad it's not just me who talks back at self-service checkouts: 'An unexpected item in the bagging area? What - like my shopping, you mean?' And the satnav. Both the dc now back-chat 'Emily' when she says, 'Recalculating...'

Her names Purdie by the way.

Trilli - you can have the bastard thats trying to wander over my laptop as I type!

Best bit of the ritualistic sainsbruy's humiliation I always do to DD was when they were playing Dizzee Rascal's Dance With Me in the record bit in there. For some reason I know all the words to the rap bit, and I proceeded to rap it in the poultry aisle. According to dd 'you have ruined that song for me forever, mum'

DH pointed out to me today a lady standing outside our house. She was standing with her back to the our lounge window and she was having a real good scratch! I have no idea what was irritating her arse but the way she was going at it, I am surprised she didnt pull a kidney out :o

Obviously the street was clear so she thought she was safe, but didnt consider that there might be someone behind the window :o

GetOrf will you be my mum big sister? :o

i wear socks with flipflops after a bath. If my DP catches me he goes mad! admittedly not an attactive look (or particularly comfortable either)

haha - yes. DD uses bodyform pads - I have sung 'whoah bodyform' in Sainsburys. She was disgusted with me. Mind you she hates shopping with me, dance about in order to piss her off.

yep. and hohoho, green giant...

I fart closely by the cat to make him jump. I have never admitted that to anyone.

YY to the monologues - I always talk to myself when cooking or in the kitchen.

I drive along pulling faces at myself in the rear view mirror. I am amazed I haven't crashed yet.

When I go over those yellow strips that they put on the roads to make you slow down (and they make a loud buuf buuf buuf noise as you go over them too fast) I turn it into a Prodigy song and start punching the air and singing and shaking my head like Keith Flint.

After blow drying my hair I often come out the dressing room swishing my hair slo mo singing 'Like you've just stepped out of a saloooooooon - salon selectives. I do that with DD and DP in the house - they are used to it now.

i once saw a documentary where David Bellamy ATE a large slug