Things you learned the hard way not to do again

Do not rely on spellcheck to make sure that everything is correct for a teaching interview....

You will then sit there reading out your handout to a small group of students (whilst being observed), and inadvertently read out "You need to know how tit is used....."

Then followed your attempt at curbing your hysterical laughter, whilst students looked at you like you'd grown 3 heads.

Still got the job though!

Neither should you keep denture fix next to the vagisil.

Not good when the error is in either direction.

I'm reliably informed.

Pigeon - i, too, was using a high-speed industrial machine (it was during my HND)

My first thought was the blood, the technician's first thought was the needle, which everyone laughed at, because they didn't realise she was checking to see if any had broken off in my finger.
I was extremely jammy for the needle to have not broken - I just happened to have pulled my finger away at just the right time!

Do not sleep in friends new bed while BF a new baby and not wear a bra and pads. the milky morning mess will be embarrising and her DH will not be very amused!!

From a nameless acquaintance of mine: DO NOT keep your denture glue next to the toothpaste.

Start a game of throwing pebbles into the pond with your little sister.

She was two and forgot to let go. Went in after the pebble. Mum had to fish her out.

Was February so pretty chilly from all accounts.

Everyone blue with cold and not too happy.
Mother probably relieved all was well though.
And nice man invited us round to his nearby flat to warm up and call taxi.

fluffy oh yes, have done that many a time before an early shift. I sometimes do it with mousse instead for a change Spraying deodorant on your hair is also fun, if you like the grey-haired/acute dandruff look.

Check the can before spraying hairspray under your arms instead of deodorant.

That reminds me of another. Do not try to prove to your Dad that the brakes on your pushbike have failled by riding it down a hill.

Do not ever put your finger in the way of a serrated bike wheel. The scar will be permanent!

Back in the ciggie smoking days, pulling up my bra strap with the hand
holding fag. Resulting burn on my cheek was very attractive.

Dammit - that was supposed to be my first strike-through. Bah.

One from my sister here - do not get so drunk as a teenager that, when getting ready for bed, you fall asleep on the toilet. Naked.

Especially bad if you're a bit of a prude, which she is

I'm 37 and i do that too Limburgs.

Do not open your heavy van boot a little way while reaching to get something (top opening type) and give the attached strap absent mindedly to your 4 year old - they will go into orbit

nickelbabe you know, the really stupid thing was that I was an apprentice Savile Row tailor at the time and was experienced and used to the very fast industrial machines! And yes, my first reaction was not to get blood on whatever I was sewing at the time.

Always make sure the milk bottle top is firmly screwed on before you give the bottle a vigorous shake.

[NOTE FOR YOUNGER MNers: in olden days you had to shake the milk to mix in the cream off the top. Over-40s still do this as a matter of course.]

Do not attempt to indulge in any spray tanning activity in your cream bathroom without first covering your cream shower base, cream bath mat, cream walls...nuff said

Don't throw dirty washing down the stairs to save time - the shame of turing up for work with a pair of knickers in my coat hood.....

Maybe that's another lesson - don't leave your coat on the bannister - put it away in the cupboard!

Don't put your 3mnth old DS2 on a changing station full of bathwater and attempt to move it across your bathroom. Said changing station will collapse, DS2 will fall on his head and therefore you will feel like the worst mother in the whole entire history of the universe and you will suffer an appropriate amount of guilt for the rest of your life

Don't ski through a gap just wider than your shoulders with your ski pole balanced across your open hands.

I was the instructor too

"PigeonPie Thu 03-Mar-11 15:08:49

Don't sew over your finger with the sewing machine; the needle will break in your finger. Do remember that you bought some long nosed pliers and that you know where they are to take out said bit of needle protruding from finger. Reader - it hurt... and bled!"

not true! it doesn't always break! - although, when it happened to me, i think i was very lucky.
it did two full stitches.
An all anyone cared about was that i didn't get blood on my shirt. (itwas my very first thought too!)

"outnumbered2to1

to put my hand on the hob of the cooker to see if it was still on...... i did only burn the top half of three fingers....."

I did that too!!

I was 6 - and it wasn't on - my mum told me not to touch it because it was still hot, but I said "it doesn't look hot" and put my hand on it, full force.

burnt my entire palm, all shaped like the ring on the cooker!

McGill, I was really surprised to read on the Kellymom website that breastfeeding can be up to 98% effective as a contraceptive! That sounds totally barmy to me - I never thought it was a contraceptive at all - apart from killing your libido that is

Don't fall over and land at weird angle, resulting in clamping fleshy bit of thigh in red hot hair straightening irons ooowwwwwww!

With you mcGill!