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Original poster

Things you learned the hard way not to do again

464 replies

ItsJustAName · 02/03/2011 22:39

Okay, so I was out and about and needed the loo and popped in to a public toiler. Only when finished did I realise there was no loo roll.

Never fear, I knew I had fresh handypack of hankies in my handbag.

I used one.

Shock Blush Shock

Olbas oil infused hankies do not leave you with a pleasant sensation when used as loo roll lol. Grin

OP posts:
Notalone · 03/03/2011 18:21

toomanybuttons - Arrghhh - I will second what you just said. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever google image mustard snack. I feel like I am going to vomit. For the love of god why????!!!

TooManyButtons · 03/03/2011 18:16

When you're stripping wallpaper, and have pulled out an enormous picture hook leaving a hole directly above the socket, don't hold the steamer right over the hole. Unless you'd like to experience flying. Backwards across the room. Accompanied by a pretty blue flash.

sharbie · 03/03/2011 18:12

i was 15 - luckily twas only the fringe - nothing happened Grin
but the fact that it was so near my eyes and face etc
makes me shudder

bintofbohemia · 03/03/2011 18:11

Do not stick your pantliner on the wrong way round. Ouch.

GeekLove · 03/03/2011 18:09

Gobs I meant hobs. Damn iphone auto correct.

GeekLove · 03/03/2011 18:08

sharbie there was a rather obnoxious guy at university who did just that since he thought that bleach = hair bleach in England and wondered why his hair started falling out.

Same goes for not immac'ing your lady bits. Dermatitis ahoy!

Also if you dump your oven gloves on the gas hob mid-cooking make sure the gobs are actually off.

Never eat stray raisens in a house with a toddler.

HarrietTheSpook · 03/03/2011 18:06

I iron my hair all the time. Not joking. But Domestos. Shock

sharbie · 03/03/2011 18:00

yy to ironing clothes while wearing

also don't ever iron your hair or bleach said hair with domestos

HarrietTheSpook · 03/03/2011 17:56

Never iron your shirt whilst actually wearing it. (It's true I'm a bit thick though.)

munkymaz · 03/03/2011 17:56

Always interrogate DH as to which knives he has sharpened to within an their lives prior to entering the kitchen. He won't accept that it is safer easier to chop onions when they are slightly blunt.

Never try to read a thread like this when drinking a hot cup of tea Grin

StickyProblem · 03/03/2011 17:43

Buttons haha!
I only googled pink sock, it was vile enough that your blue waffle and dragon butter are quite safe from my googleage.

These are hilarious...my faves are the chocolate, sorry poo eater, and the laser pen followed by cat bum attack!

I never mixed up nail glue with eyedrops...but I easily could have.

Never smile indulgently as the dog wanders round you leaving you hobbled by his extendable lead. It won't be so funny when he suddenly zooms off in pursuit of something and you have rope burns on the back of each ankle, which really hurt and leave very hard-to-explain scars.

magnolia1970 · 03/03/2011 17:32

dont google egg fried rice either.

magnolia1970 · 03/03/2011 17:31

aaaarrghhhh my eyes my eyes

TooManyButtons · 03/03/2011 17:29

Right, I googled blue waffle. Then saw a link for mustard snack. Clicked said link. Off to bleach eyeballs.

OnlyWantsOne · 03/03/2011 17:29

you will go blind magnolia

magnolia1970 · 03/03/2011 17:28

I so want to stick a magnet to the tv to see what happens.

Don't store nail varnish remover next to eye make up remover. Wakes you up pretty damn fast.

off to google dragon butter and blue waffle >>>>>>>>>

OnlyWantsOne · 03/03/2011 17:24

oh, and NEVER leave important legal documents on the kitchen table (not for even 10 minutes) incase the 4yr old decided she wants to do drawing...bugger

OnlyWantsOne · 03/03/2011 17:22

ahhahahahahhahahaha I did that today theagedparent - chucked the ball and hung the dog oops.

dont put your mobile phone in the microwave for 10 minutes and then wonder when you come back down stairs why a) the jacket potato you want for dinner is still on the working top and b) why the microwave & phone combo have fire damage and are fucked broken

magnolia1970 · 03/03/2011 17:20

Light a cigarette after a recently applied manicure. Thumb nail set on fire.

No matter how much of a hurry you're in always wear clothes when ironing, at the very least wear a bra.

theagedparent · 03/03/2011 17:19

Never throw a stick for a dog when you still have it on the lead.

HumphreyCobbler · 03/03/2011 17:16

Don't deadhead your roses in the immediate vicinity of a toddler.

lazarusb · 03/03/2011 17:13

Wonder what Blue Waffle is and be tempted to google it anyway.

Slice through a tendon while getting a knife out of it's packet, then proceed to cook dinner with the end of your finger hanging off and blood everywhere.

Give someone a bj with a small cold sore on your lip. Blush (At least he has something to remember me by Grin

Anal sex. Don't ask.

MakesCakesWhenStressed · 03/03/2011 17:05

OMG - blue waffle is soooo much worse than dragon butter - IT COMES WITH PICTURES

Ivegotmrbitey · 03/03/2011 16:58

Don't google things you see on MN! Hadn't recovered from blue waffle earlier but clearly hadn't learned any lessons. Envy

CBear6 · 03/03/2011 16:57

I learned to not be careless when leg shaving when one of those legs is mildly injured. When I was 12 I bumped my leg and had a lump/swollen bit on my shin from the knock. In the bath I was examining it and decided it would be a good time to shave my legs for the first time ever. Dad's sharpest razor, a steady hand, a firm grip, press-and-draaaag ... bye-bye lump, hello scarlet bath water. Still got the scar.

Not to drink something just because it's in a pop bottle. Sometimes it's not pop, it's Jeyes fluid.

Never to add "one extra egg" to a cake batter to "try thicken it up". It just makes it taste like a chocolate omelette.

Never to make Nigella's crustless pizza ever again. Disgusting doesn't even begin to cover the taste of pepperoni and cheese on top of what is essential a flat Yorkshire pudding.

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