Things you learned the hard way not to do again

Another one, from just now:

When reversing your car, don't assume you know better than the parking sensor which is beeping madly, even though you can't see anything behind you. There WILL be a recycling box right behind you, you WILL run it over, it WILL wedge itself under the car, and you will crack the bumper while trying to drag the bastard thing out remove it.

It's dh's car. Fuck.

Tongue thoroughly stuck schulte - brother then poured boiling water over it to unstick me! Talked with a Rocky-like voice for a week.

Don't lean over your scented wax burner to blow out the tealight inside it. Molten wax is very hot and sticks to your face.

Oh Lauzifer I can't stop laughing!!! My addition would be: don't apply new face mask to face before a hot date. Tomato red and itchy does not make for snogging!

Don't use the sink as a bin, unless you like regularly unblocking that too.

don't touch a fence just to check that your dd was right when she said it was an elecric fence

don't bite down on your keyring so as not to shout at arguing dc's as it can result in a broken tooth

don't put your finger in boiling sugar to check it's at the right temp while warning ds how hot boiling sugar is

Don't pour cement down the drain, unless you like sticking your hands in regularly to unblock it.

AndRMum - did you tongue get stuck?

I had the hangover from hell, I mean worst ever. And my best friend was on the phone "helping" me through it. She sent me the link for blue waffle as I was moaning that I wanted something sweet. I was VIOLENTLY sick.

ladyinpink Trust me, just don't mention it!

TooManyButtons Disclaimer: Whyso accepts no responsibility for damage (repairable or otherwise) caused to TV by placing a magnet on (or anywhere near)it.

I learned the hard way not to do it again!

Do not argue with the man in the Audi who is trying to nick the last space in the car park of the business you have an interview with in 20 minutes, he will turn out to be the interviewer and you will not get the job.

It's slightly worrying that we are the guardians of the next generation.

Mine are

Don't use lillets after chopping chilis.

Don't wax your bikini line a two days before your EDD.

Oh and on my DP's behalf

Don't have very vigorous sex two days after having the snip.

When it has been snowing, and there's about 4 inches of frozen snow on your car, that has been there for over a week - don't turn your windscreen wipers on to clear the windscreen.

The blades will be frozen to the screen, and the weight of frozen snow will be such that it will wreck not only the wiper blades but also the motor.

And it will cost you more than £300 to have fixed.

Southwestwhippet, DH did something similar with a rubber duck. He squished it on his forehead so it would stick there.

It left him with what could only be described as a rubber duck love bite on his forehead.

@ southwestwhippets unicorn

Don't leave Deep Heat and Pile cream next to one another in bathroom. Easily confused when not wearing glasses...

If you are dropping a large carving knife the correct response is not to raise your leg to kick it out the way of your foot.

You'll be amazed the size of hole a blade tip can make in your shin.

Walking through house with cricket bat as thought house had been robbed!!

Leave car door hanging wide open when over excited at picking up sister from airport - very embarrassing moment as sister dead worried the car had been broken into and had to explain I had actually left it that way.

Leave front door swinging wide open in confusion of piling kids in car - there seems to be a thread developing here!

Try to lick an icecream drip off an old fashioned freezer door.

Never ever go out in the garden on a damp night with no shoes on to rescue the cat.The horrid slimy sensation when you tread on a slug is indescribably horrid.

Do not crush up and snort Mefanamic Acid (mild anti-inflamatory prescribed to treat period pains) even if you are a stupid teenager who thinks snorting stuff is cool. Seriously, if it has 'acid' the title, it is not going to feel good on your sinuses [still shuddering 15 years later]

Do not stick one of those high-chair toys with the suction base to your forehead and pretend to be a unicorn unless you want to spend the rest of the week with a massive red bruise in the centre of your forehead and all your family laughing at you.

I won't ever kick a child's toy lorry in fury when it's left lying around the kitchen again

Never not me, my mum get up late, and try to iron school uniform half asleep. Don't forget that you have already turned the iron on, and DEFINITELY, don't put the iron to your cheek to see if its hot yet. You will have to walk around for a fortnight with five steam holes burned into your face and everyone will point, laugh and take the piss!