Strange / silly rules at work

CointreauVersial - you have reminded me of mine again, we were not allowed to leave any piece of paper with the words confidential on show overnight. However if you turned them over so that the word "confidential" could not be seen that was OK, because the security guards who went round checking and issuing the warning notes were not allowed to touch anything on the desks, much less turn over a sheet of paper.

Someone also told me once that I should not leave loose paper on my desk in case there was a bomb blast that sucked broke the windows and sucked all the paper out. Not sure if that was official company policy though or just a rumour.

In my previous job, I was the first person on my floor to arrive at work one Monday morning, and went to open the window nearest to me, as it was a rather muggy day. However I could only open it about an inch-and-a-half.

I thought maybe the window was jammed, so spent about 5 minutes pulling and pulling at it, with no luck.

In defeat, I thought I'd open another window, but the same thing happened. I tried other windows, all the same.

At this point I was utterly bemused, as when we'd all gone home on the Friday, the windows had been fine.

Then someone from another floor popped in to drop something off for someone, and she laughed at my confused face, and told me the new management (the company had just been taken over a few months before) had ordered the modification of all the windows so they could only be opened slightly. This was to "avoid accidents or other distressing incidents."

I assumed by other distressing incidents, they meant to prevent anyone jumping out of the windows, which isn't really a good selling point for a company is it? "Our windows only open a fraction, to stop our staff jumping out the windows."

Seriously though, everyone thought it was utterly bonkers, and it meant we spent that summer sweating like pigs (we had no air conditioning, as it was an older building, and it wasn't economical to put AC in).

A new rule got added to the company code of conduct, which was that anyone who modified a window or windows themselves, so they would open further, would face disciplinary action!

They brought in a few other bonkers things too, for example we had a subsidised canteen, and to apparently save money there was a notice one day that said "you can now only have one filling with jacket potatoes." However, in the past, if you had two fillings you obviously got 'half and half', so you got the same amount of filling as someone who had one filling, it wasn't as though you were getting whole servings of both fillings! None of us could work out how banning 'two fillings' would save money!

I had gone back to work there part-time after my DS was born, but the place had become such a joke to work for, then when I found out I was pregnant with my twin DDs, I decided there and then I'd not go back and would WAHM instead.

i once worked in a place where you could only start a conversation with someone of the same seniority as yourself - as a junior clerk i could not to speak to anyone senior to myself unless they had initiated the conversation !

Just remembered, there is one company I have to deal with at work, who arrange training courses. I called them one day at about 12.25pm to book a course, and was just about to embark on credit card details etc. when the woman stopped me and said "don't bother starting to give your details now, as you won't get through them before our lunchbreak starts at 12.30pm".

How unprofessional, I thought, and asked her if maybe she wouldn't mind losing a minute or two from her break so we could finish the call.

"No, you don't understand", she said. "Our phones actually switch off at 12.30pm, and don't come back on again until 1.30pm." Apparently something to do with ensuring they all take their lunch breaks.

So she could be in the middle of a conversation WITH A PAYING CUSTOMER and the phone will just go dead, no questions asked.

Quite frankly, I'm amazed they are still in business.

When I transferred to the New York office of my company I had to sign a new contract which was identical apart from the clause which stated

"You may not bring your fire-arm to the office"

Reassuring.

I want to know the rationale behind signing for an egg.

During my training it was easier to get class A drugs than annual leave approval! Seriously. To get annual leave required multiple forms, signatures and slips of paper. Morphine? No bother, how much dearie?

Where I work now (NHS building) there is a largely empty patients only car park. Staff that have to take heavy equipment on home visits have to park 10 mins walk away in the staff car park, come into work to prep the equipment, walk 10 mins back to get car and drive to delivery entrance, have colleague waiting at back door with equipment, load into car and set off. Do reverse at lunch time. Then repeat in afternoon. Then walk back to car at home time.

Make provision for staff loading / waiting area??? Flat refusal!

My current company is very relaxed, but I used to work for a well-known multi-national organisation who were completely anal about confidentiality. At the end of the day you had to lock away every last scrap of paper, any memos, diaries etc. Even if your job was mundane and not remotely involved with development/future plans.

At night, a security guard would patrol the building, and if you had left anything on show you would come in the next day to find a security breach notice on your desk. You then had to return a form to HR with an explanation of how it happened and why you wouldn't do it again.

The office was bristling with security, and passes were needed to go anywhere in the building; I can only imagine they thought competitors were hiding in cupboards waiting to tiptoe round the office after hours with spy-cameras. It wasn't as if the company developed rockets or defence equipment - it was shampoo and skincare!!

It had one lasting effect on me - years later I can't go home for the day without tidying all my paperwork away (although I draw the line at a locked cupboard).

I once got pulled up for knitting in the hospital staff canteed during my lunch hour by the Operating Theatres manager. She said it was unprofessional and it didn't matter that no patients ever came in the staff canteen, I was not allowed to knit.

I was so gobsmacked I didn't think to ask her why she could tell me what I could do during my lunch hour for which I wasn't paid.

I once worked for an office with a dress code. There was a heading for 'Underwear', and the instruction was 'Underwear must be worn'

Obviously someone had been coming in without their drawers on!

Wonderingstar: that's Shell isn't it...my BIL works there and said that if you take your hand off the hand rail, other people can intervene and make you put your hand back on....!

This is making me wonder about going back to the workplace. Can't remember any daft rules, other than the usual - we had the no trousers for ladies rule until about 1994, and smokers were allowed a fag break but you couldn't go out to join them if you didn't smoke. So they had about half an hour's extra break each day as no one restricted the number of breaks (grrr)

DH has always taken the kids into his office on Christmas Eve to give me a chance for a final tidy, and they get to hand out sweets and see Daddy's work - the company is fine with it so long as he signs an H&S form to say he's responsible for their behaviour and avoiding accidents. Their office moved from one serviced office to another 50 yards down the road, owned by same management company. He turned up this Xmas Eve to be told by the caretaker/security guard (bloke on front desk) that children were not allowed in this building. It's an office FFS, what if one of his customers turned up to sign documents and happened to have kids in tow? 2 hour round trip of wasted time, he was not in a good mood and nor were they (or me) when he got back...

whomovedmychoc: that reminds me of something that happened in our office. Stupid HR sent their stuff to the wrong printer one day (not sure how they did that as it was on a different floor and we were behind a Chinese wall).

It only happened to be print outs of every employee, all their personal details, how much they earned, etc. Oh what fun we had!!!

I once worked with a bunch of social workers (for a very short time). At the beginning of every meeting, (of which there were many) each person in the meeting had to 'share their feelings'. So you'd get statements like 'I'm feeling mellow atm' or I'm feeling anxious about my day'. I never knew what to say but secretly wished I could say ' Im feeling this is a load of bollocks'.

Any mn social workers recognise this?

Sariska - bet that's the same image consultant I saw (I wasn't law but I was 'big corporate professional services') - she's obsessed with scarves and discrete jewellery!

Wear the red dress - I used to have a scarlet jacket that I wore specifically to wind her up when she was in the building - she was very hot on blues/greys/blacks I recall.

i had the joy of working for Co-op Insurance in the 1980s

my boss was an ex copper, mason, rascist sexist you name it.

he had great joy in enforcing the no new pen until you hand in your old one. he took it one step further though. all stationery was produced "in house" and that meant that the pen handed out on day one had CIS written on it. He actually had me up in front of him because i hadnt asked for a new pen which meant that i had lost company property and thought that i should pay for it.

Seriously, ask to see where in the contract you signed that is written down!

This thread is so entertaining! Our mad office woman take it upon herself to keep an eye on the contents of the fridge and after a spate of many out of date yoghurt's and Soft Cheese with green mould on it she sent an email round saying "Having a fridge is a privilage and if we didn't learn how to treat it properly she would take it away from us"

I once worked in a call centre where we were sat in individual cubicles. We were not allowed anything on our desks except the telephone, headset, computer monitor, one pen and scrap paper. The scrap paper used to get frowned upon as people would doodle on it. Eventually it was decided we no longer could have scrap paper or a pen as all calls should be recorded straight onto the call screen. We were not allowed to pin anything to the cubicle walls either. You just stared at the blank green wall in silence.

If you started at 9 you had a ten minute break with your team at 11 and then half an hour lunch at one, then another ten minute break at 3.30 and home at 5.30. This was recorded to the minute. If you were one minute late back you had to make the minute up. Ten minutes is not a lot of time to go to the loo, get a coffee and a bite to eat and rush back. You were not allowed to use the loo at any other time, or drink at your desk.

No wonder I went off sick with stress.

I once worked in a bar where I was told I would have to remove my tongue bar, not because it didn't fit the company uniform aesthetic (which I would have been fine with. although it wasn't visible when I spoke) but because it was unhygienic.

The manager didn't seem to get my point that if my tongue was anywhere near the customers' food then it would be unhygienic, pierced or not.

The firm I work for sends all new trainee solicitors and trainee secretaries to a talk by an image consultant. The two groups go to different sessions. Both groups get the usual blah about professional dress and understated make-up and jewellery but only the trainee lawyers are (if female) told to accessorise with a scarf. They are also advised to shop at Austin Reed whereas secretaries are advised to go to Next. Individuality in appearance is not prized. (I am contemplating wearing a red dress on my first day back from mat leave ).

Another "no kettles" one here. We had a canteen until recently and had to buy all our tea/coffee from there. However, then the canteen was closed to save money. Still they wouldn't let us have kettles in our various departments. But they started allowing us upstairs to the swanky management suite where there was a fully equipped kitchen and one of those instant boiling water machines.

For a time us common or garden workers were allowed to avail ourselves of these facilities. But then, a new staff area was created with it's own hot water machine. We were told to use that in future, but a few of us complained the new area had no sink. So we were told we could carry on using the swanky management suite kitchen for cup washing only. Under no circumstances were we to use the hot water machine right next to the sinks. We HAD to go out of the room, down the corridor and into the new staff area.

I work for an NHS Trust. We are not allowed to have an electric heater (or any electrical equipment not supplied by the Trust)in our offices. Part of the time the general building heating doesn't work (and it only gets turned on at the beginning of November) so we freeze.

When I want back to work after maternity leave it was September. I was still exclusively breast feeding and had to pump in my office several times a day, and just could NOT do this in a freezing cold room! I defied the rules and brought in a lttle blower heater. I still, a year and a half later (and not breast feeding anymore) have the heater, and occasionally come in to find someone has "borrowed it" to warm up their office!

Our buildings manager has to come in with a temperature thing that looks like a microphone before we are allowed to change the temperature. We joke that in the winter she warms in under her armpit before she gets to us. We're always frozen or sweating!

We have to have a vote to change the temperature on the air con. It must be a majority decision or it cant be changed, and opening windows, even if youre the only one in the office and have turned off the air con first, is a hanging offence.

We can eat non-smelly food in the office, but not anything aromatic in case it offends anyone in the next door meeting room. They, on the other hand, can have chips or chinese buffet and stink the whole corridor out.