Middle Ages Mumsnet

Yet Mistress Price doth surely work for the poor in the parish, suckling their starving babes - howsoever else should she have grown such momentous and fruitful dugs?

Good Dame Plu, methinks that thou givest too much concern to ye spellyngs and grammar of ye age. I have it from learned scholars that these matters were not gyven much account in latter days, to the ends that ye same words be spelled differently in ye same sentence! Mayhap thou takest these matters too seryousley? [smileth]

LadyMouse, I have betaken myself to the Greate Page in the Square, and look'd upon the work of Scrybes there. Verily, the wording is alter'd, which didst gladden my Hearte.

Yet my Vanitie hath been cast down, for a Greate and Fearefull Doute hath assailed me: Is this Idle Banter of ours the Reale Lyfe, or the Lyfe of the Spirit? If it be the latter, why doth it smell of Lyfe and our Lustes? Surely our Spirites be not so Lusty and Cackling, with Woes of DLAM and childer, like unto Lyfe? Should the Lyfe of the Spirite not be a holy one?

'Tis shameful in mine minde that so many of our goodfolke do hearken so to the maunderings of men muche devoted to the polishing of the Mail Jerkins

Mistress Plupervert, I confess, as a Peasant my learning is poor. Willst thou not proclaime the correcte conjugations of "dost," and also describe unto us the most nice and accurate way of address?

Think'st thou not that the perfection of grammar is the highest art to which one should aspire? Would that there were only somesuch standardisation of our spelling, but Alas! A Dictionary is still several hundred years hence.

I Wondere'd if thou wenches of ye WetNurseNette of This Newe Tinterweb of Wondrou's tymes coulde considere assistething one of your fellow sisteres..

I haveth great fear of that monstrous and wicke'd scroll which denounc'd we hagges WetNurseNette memberes..

I feeleth it be named "The Dailye Mail"

Tell me, sisteres, how shalle I dispose of this scrolle?

I am, your servant,

Madame Countess of Knackerst'ein

be sure to take note of the finne balancey of yon goodman's humours. "Tis said a he is high in Cholor.

Fie ye varlets, 'tis well known that if a maane fallen adoune the midden he must supply a pint of urine for ye physician to thus determine the state of his armes. Then get thee a horoscope to see if the starres foretell whereso he shalt live.

On ye outher honde, if thee be burneth at the stake, perhaps shalt thou not carest?

I am mych dismayed that I hath not anythingth funy to addeth.

LMarthO thoughth

MistressSugar, your sage advise shall very direct my actions..'tis well known a finely crafted embroderie shall divulge much truth, if presented with honour and humble affection

Wouldst

'Tis most vexing, to be inexact, having set myself So High amongst the Pedantry!

[MmeDefarge, btw - I just discovered that the Germans still call a cloakroom a garderobe. Verrry strange conversation that was!]

Mistress Plu - doubtless thou knowest best, even if thine advice is of great age. I must betake me unto the Victuals thread and humbly crave advice.

Yet I am wedded to my Old Wayes and Spellinges, Lady of the Dragon!

What Woudst Thou Do?

(concerning Thy problem, I counselle thee also not to partake of victuals when thy husband fasteth, lest thou feed thy other Appetites). Let then the next Day and the Sabbath be merrie Feastes of all the Hungers!)

Saddly there is no 'thorn' symbol on my tryppewritter, I am stucke with 'ye' my smale firebreathynge frende.

Lovynge the receipt Mistresse Plupervert.

Pray, dear LadyDragon, summon not the Counsil of Witchery. I fear muchly their vellum books and quills aready to inscribe such tales to tell as they discover in my garderobe and privy. My slatternly ways would be shaming for my goodman and I should surely be Cast Out

mistress catinthehat - fresh shytte is wholesome and will give sustenance to your DLAM(dear lord and master) and chyldrene.
My own DLAM has vexed me greatly by dispensing our last groats on mead to accompany his viewing of the game of the pygges bladder. he is now deep in slumber while watching said game through closed eyes. Truly he is most prodigiously talented and i am honoured to be his wyffe!
My chyldren shall have straw from the bedding to suck as'tis of far greater import that his thirst be quenched.
I fear that should he require to avail hymself of marital duties this night he shall be sore disappointed!

Madam very, I reporteth thee until the Social Witchhunters of our neighbourhood, for shame! Thy soft handling spoileth the child and thou shouldst be whipped for the mistreatment of the poor girl.

Be not afeared, Mumsnetteres - I shall comfort the yonge childe with good whippings and scolding, that she grow happy and well.

Plupervert - at 'This post hath been Cast Downe by Mumsnette'.

Yet, if we bee pedants, must not we abandon this accursed 'ye' and embrace the correct 'the', as, forsooth, 'tis more correct in medieval times?

CatteInYeHatte, canst thou not boil Bones? What manner of slatterne and voluptuous Liver art thou, that thou mither'st about Meate upon Bones? The Waste of the Byrdes is for thine Fyre, thou clotpoll!

Place ye Catte in yon Turnipe, and Bury in a Greate Fyre 'til ye Moone doth Show her Face. Then you and your husbonde may eat with a seasoning from his Pate and Lockes.

mayhap a sprinkling of herbs might leaven such a dish and render it palatable?

Indeed, but recently, they did cause such a furore over the Mumming of the travelling players, and cast down great fury when shown the evil tales they do recount in play, and reprised, each Sabbath, may the lord forgive them

What shalle I do for dinner this darke eve?

I have but a turnip, an olde catte (there be but lyttle meat uppon his smale carcase), a handfulle of dandruffe from my dear husbonde, and some fresh shytte from the chickens.

Any ideas? Or shall I stande outside the Chippe Shoppe until someone discovers the potato?