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If Mary used Mumsnet

66 replies

mylifewithmangers · 22/12/2010 16:05

If Mary used Mumsnet, she might just start a few threads like these:

Pregnancy > OMG, just had a holy vision from Gabriel. Could I be pregnant?

Philosophy/religion/spirituality > Should I join a church if I'm expecting the Son of God?

Baby names > Brian?

Baby names > Jesus - too chavvy???

Politics > Bloody Tory census forcing me to travel back home at 40 weeks gone. Grrrr.

Meet-ups > MN meetup in Bethlehem anyone?

Relationships > Reading DHs texts. He's having doubts about being the father. Is this the end of us?

AIBU > To park my donkey in a P&T space when I'm due DC1 any day???

Childbirth > Anyone else being forced into a stable-birth?

Childbirth > Think my waters just went, and I'm stuck in a bloody cow shed. Help!

Birth announcements > My miracle baby

_Chat > Wow that star overhead is REALLY bright (and anyone else hear singing?)

AIBU > To expect royal visitors not to turn up unannounced when I've just given birth?

_Chat > WTF is myrrh? Does it taste better than panettone?

Gifted and talented > Animals bow down to my baby, should he be on the G&T register?

Children's health > My newborn has a strange light shining from his head, what should I do?

Sleep > DS sleeping through, but I don't get any peace from hordes of angels. WWYD?

_Chat > Best place to buy boys clothes without pirates or 'World Saviour' slogans?

Car seats > What seat to fit rear-facing on a donkey?

Behaviour/development > What age did yours start blessing crowds?

Weaning > Can you BLW with loaves and fishes?

_Chat > Claiming CS payments from DS bio dad when he only communicates via prayer

Primary education > What are the good schools in Jerusalem

Behaviour/development > DC keeps turning water into fruitshoots

Food > Tips for feeding a family of 3 on 10 shekels a week

AIBU > Old friend having child and alcohol free wedding. AIBU to take DS along to liven things up?

Parenting > Telling DS he's not the Messiah, he's just a naughty boy!

OP posts:
mylifewithmangers · 22/12/2010 21:06

"there are no fecking isofix points on our donkey" Priceless Xmas Grin

Love the Waterbabies too!!!

MaryMotherofCheeses - great to see you are still around Xmas Grin

OP posts:
MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 22/12/2010 20:14

Co-sleep or manger? WWYD?

InmaculadaConcepcion · 22/12/2010 20:00

Baby names: Emmanuel too pretentious?

muminthecity · 22/12/2010 19:56

Parenting - Newborn wakes every morning when he hears the cows but never cries, is this normal?

beachholiday · 22/12/2010 19:55

LOL at ImmaculadaConcepcion

molemesses · 22/12/2010 19:52

Home and garden - Le crusset or authentic clay pots? Which is better?

Kitta · 22/12/2010 19:52

love it...

molemesses · 22/12/2010 19:51

Chat - I'm fed up. DS's birthday is Christmas day. We usually do the Birthday in the morning and Christmas in the afternoon but MIL has decided to take it upon herself to do the opposite without colsulting me. DH is no help as he's "too busy building the house", which he's been "doing" for the last 5 years. What do I do?

Playground Politics - I dont know what to do. I've tried to make friends with the other mothers but they all seem to think that DS is just perfect and I know damn well he isnt, but no one listens. Any advice?

InmaculadaConcepcion · 22/12/2010 19:50

_Chat: You'll never guess what happened when I took DS to Waterbabies today...!

PurpleMiffy · 22/12/2010 19:46

Love it

beachholiday · 22/12/2010 19:46

I didnt want to see all your inspired threads go unanswered Mylifewithmangers so i thought I'd let you know:

Vince Cable told one of his cnstituents half the media in the country he may resign in protest at that census.

The only outstanding primary in Jeruseleum is a Catholic one unfortunately - would you be willing to consider Christening your DS?

And while I commend you for the rearfacing carseat, DON'T believe mothercare when they try to sell you the Britax - there are no fecking isofix points on our donkey. Now they wont refund as they claim it "smells like its been kept in a barn"Xmas Hmm

InmaculadaConcepcion · 22/12/2010 19:43

AIBU...to want to thump the bloody kid who keeps insisting on banging his frigging drum when DS is trying to sleep?

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 22/12/2010 19:24

I do. Smile

Fab thread Grin

Hulababy · 22/12/2010 19:23

WWYD > Apparently pregnant by another man; how do I tell Joseph?

BlueEyesAllAglow · 22/12/2010 19:23

Parenting - DS is just too good - is this normal?

molemesses · 22/12/2010 19:18

AIBU - That DH has loaded up the donkey with rugs and his crap and I have to walk?

Health - What painkillers to use during labour? Prayer? herbs? or just rip DH's arm off?

Religion - There is NO God! Childbirth wouldnt be so bloody painful is there was.

muminthecity · 22/12/2010 19:02

AIBU - To be pissed off that DH forgot to book hotel and I now have nowhere to give birth?

ThisIsANiceCage · 22/12/2010 19:00

Frankincense - any good against zombies?

SilveryMoon · 22/12/2010 18:54

This is very funny Grin
'Behaviour/development > DC keeps turning water into fruitshoots'
rofl

stillavirgin · 22/12/2010 18:53

dadsnet: DW is pregnant by another man, and he's a tough act to follow!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 22/12/2010 18:49

Style and Beauty - I'm sick of wearing blue - does Boden do anything?

AIBU - to exchange Myrrh for PS3 without a receipt?

Self-employed - 4 blokes have sold my life story - can I claim royalties?

tinkselgirl · 22/12/2010 18:48

chat> how do you tell 3 wise men, a bunch of shepherds and a few angels to bugger off when I'm BF?

chat> DH is refusing to nip to tesco's for pads.

AIBU> I just given birth and DH hasn't brought me any flowers.

Xmas Grin
MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 22/12/2010 18:40

Never mind, mylife - they were entertaining even without the dripfeeding. But like I said earlier, I think you covered most angles.

mylifewithmangers · 22/12/2010 18:37

Mardy you are on a roll Xmas Grin. I rather blew all my ideas in the first post. I should have held back, drip fed and let everyone contribute. When will I ever learn?

Flight - whatever happened to MaryMotherofCheeses, is she still around. That was a genious name.

OP posts:
MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 22/12/2010 18:34

MIL is visiting and is getting passive-aggressive about the lack of Xmas telly and having to sit on hay bales. Help!