Teachers. Admit it. This is a perk of the job isn't it?

Nothing interesting from when I was a teacher, but my nephew, who is on the autistic spectrum, had just discovered nipples the last time we all went out to dinner as a family. He spent a lot of time in the restaurant shouting loudly about how we all had nipples but that they were useless as they didn't do anything, and then proceded to show his grandparents his own nipples by standing up and unbuttoning his shirt so he could show them both off at the same time

They were very and he thought it was hilarious

That*

Aeronautical*

My best one as a child was when I was about 7 and we were talking about what our fathers did for a living. I had asked Dad the night before in preparation and he said that if he told me he'd have to kill me. I faithfully relayed this the next day and insisted that it was true. They called Mum in who told them it was true, no one really knew what Dad did because it was top secret military work.

Everyone thought tgat my Dad was James Bond after that and my teachers were desperate to meet him! He's actually an arenautical engineer.

we were in an International school and on his photo profile in the hallway it had their name, nationality, fav colour etc.

had a closer look and Home was under Sweden! Sweden - we're from Swindon FFS!

Got Ds's diary home and he had written about the family.

My little brother is lovely and we call him Little Bear with the curly hair.

My dad takes me to the park and we have fun (very rarely actually).

My mummy goes to the pub a lot.

I am a teacher and once I put the word symmetry on the board and asked the children if anyone knew what it meant (year 1). One little girl called Kimberley put up her hand. Is it where you take flowers to dead people miss?

...my four year old's news...

I had twenty three and four year olds at circle time We were talking about fathers day which was on that weekend remember to give your daddy the card youve made for him .One little boy stood upwill you make sure you give daddy the card,Iwill
good
Miss
Yes
Do you know my daddy has a very furry willy!

My MIL commented on the fact that my husband only drives occasionally (at weekends) and asked if he was losing his driving skills. I said oh no he is a good driver, though he does speed.

My four year old's faithfully recorded at school "Daddy does speed, but only at the weekend"

My exMIL is a hairdresser but does it from home. Long ago, her daughter, when at primary school, kept on laddering her tights and the school said they would ring mum and get her to bring some new ones. The child, knowing that she would get it in the neck for ruining ANOTHER pair of tights....(this was an on going issue!!) was horrified and said "but.... but... you can't ring.... Mummy has her "clients" in!". Now this was a long time ago... long before it was common to work from home. Her brother (my exH) had to be called in to decode and reassure the school that mum was not a lady of easy virtue.....!

my son did a lovely picture in his book with a caption underneath.
He had written 'me, my mum and my dead dog' and the picture showed me and DS along with a dog laying on his back with his legs up in the air!

Our dog had been PTS 5 months earlier.

Hee hee Loving (most of) this thread

"When I come from school the dog and cat come to say hello. I put my things on the table and mum shouts at me. We have some tea. Dad rolls a spliff after tea and we watch TV. I have some beer and go to sleep on the sofa."

~ My sister's eldest, age 8
What he wrote wasn't untrue, but he missed out several very important factors that managed to keep him healthy & educated! I'm still amazed they didn't have welfare people knocking on the door the next evening ... He's 18 now, and gorgeous.

heh heh excellent drawing (and diversion) Normasknockers...

Ahem - hopefully this will return thread to funny

My friend was working as a primary school teacher and doing circle time, when a small boy proceeded to tell the entire class how he had woken up in the night and gone in to his Mum's bedroom to ask for a drink.
" And it was really funny because my Mum's boyfriend was there and she was sitting on his head!"

Here it is

I remember getting an email once from my MIL. It was about a picture that had been drawn by a 6 year old (I believe) the woman appeared to be pole dancing and men were all crowded around holding out £5 notes. The child in question had been asked to draw what his mummy did for a living.

It turned out that the mum actually worked in a DIY shop and due to the recent snow she'd told her DS about all the men coming in to buy spades

Look here, pag's excellent thread has been put in Classics. How about making an exception to the MN rule and taking the judging off to another thread so it can stay just FECKING FUNNY?

Oh diddums Pixie, that will keep me awake, I'm sure.

Her mum giving her fags in return for babysitting actually has nothing to do with the domestic circumstances, does it? I can take anyone's "fricking difficult circumstances" childhood stories and match them, believe me.

And you're right, you do sound patronising.

sorry, sephrenia
I think just because someone else's family circumstances weren't the same as yours is not a reason to try to pressure someone inot note sharing their story, is it?

How do you think it sits to tell someone that you are'shocked' by what was, clearly, a light-hearted story from a clearly loving family in (it turns out) fricking difficult circumstances. how do you think that kind of reaction makes sephrenia feel, really?
Sorry I know I sound patronising.

There is no 'only cosy childhood stories' rule on mumsnet afaik.

As it happens, i don't agree with the action but this thread is not the place to jump down someones throat, judging, when they are relating a funny story.