Teachers. Admit it. This is a perk of the job isn't it?

Dd2 had some classic ones. I've kept her book cos I was in stitches at parents evening. Though there were a few mentions of dh ( when we first got together) having sleepovers

Ha haaaa at Pawsnclaws and the unfortunate Dad!

Ds1 did a project on the senses in reception, which included a list of smells he liked and smells he didn't. How proud we were to see that he apparently liked the smell of bogs. The TA assured me it was muddy bogs not the other kind!

Friend of mine's DD wrote in her news book that at the weekend mummy and daddy went to a party, daddy was sick in the plant pot when they got home and when they got up in the morning he had a pocket full of cooked chicken drumsticks from the buffet.

Ah x-post if that is indeed all you are going to say...

Pag this is a very funny and distracting thread but I really want to know about what DD said to make you all sound like wankers. And about the wine too. Sorry

I used to tell everyone my dad was a policeman and he painted aeroplanes. It was kind of true! He worked for aerospace and started off in the paint shop and then worked as security!

I work in a nursery and my daughter comes with me. She is always saying embarassing things about me like 'daddy hits mummy and he goes on time out' which is definitely not true at all. She always sees me drinking cans of fizzy pop as well and thinks its beer cans. She is always telling parents/staff my mummy drinks lots of beer!

Its even worse when its your child and you work there.

haha this thread is great :o

i remember at about 10, writing about my summer holiday in wales at school and saying how it was great on holiday as mummy and daddy took us to the pub every evening and daddy was really funny when he was drunk :o

my dd had to write about what made her happy and what made her sad

Happy - when mummy reads to me
Sad - when daddy makes a cake and it tastes yucky

i didnt mind going to parents evening and seeing that on the wall!!

rofl. Esp at handcuffs...

More please, teachers. Just so long as it's not me.

I told my teacher,when I was about 6,that my ambition was to write a book on 101 ways to eat a Jaffa cake.

When I was at infant school I used to tell everyone my Dad was German. And occasional use the one German word I knew, as evidence of this.
My Dad was born in Kennington South London and descended from fishermen in Grimsby.
WTF was that about, student psychologists?

I still cringe when I remember going into DS's reception class when he shouted 'here's silly mummy' and proceeded to tell everyone how silly me and daddy were for forgetting to put our pyjamas on last night.
Unfortunately, it's a special school with an extended age range - DS is 16 now and I still have to face the same TA.

At nursery (many years ago) in circle time, the children were given an old 35mm film canister and told to put as many tiny things in it as they could fit. One little girl stood up and said loudly 'My mummy has a pot like that. She calls it her pot pot'

Ha haaaaaaaa

SNORT at the handcuffs

I used to tell everyone my Dad was a waiter. In fact he was the manager of a 5 star hotel on Park Lane in London. God knows where I got my ideas from. I think he might have taken us to one of the restaurants in the hotel and known all the staff

In circle time,a 5 year old boy once told me, my entire class and my Teaching Assistants his 'news'.."My daddy likes to dress up in my mummy's clothes when she goes out!" Could never quite look either parent in the eye again after that!

Dd's last report contained a line about how "dd was always keen to share her experiences outside school with everyone at carpet time".

Oh gawd...

Pag! What did she put? Was it as good as saying mobiles at the tables are astonishingly rude?

Haha! Reminds me of DS telling teacher and classmates that his dad works as a security guard in Tesco. In fact DH is an accountant and holds a very senior position at his company, but DS thought it made him sound much cooler than he is...

A small child in one of my classes told me how her daddy dressed up as a princess and chased her around the cellar.

The daddy in question was at least 6'4" and built like a rugby player!

Another drew pics of a cat all the time with wings. I asked him what it was, exactly, and he said that it was his dead cat, in heaven. He explained how his mum cried when she found the cat dead. And then he had cried. And then mummy said he had gone to heaven and how they buried him with a couple of toys and how they had all cried again, but he was brave and gave mummy a cuddle and told her he was in heaven and was baby Jesus's cat now.

I'm afraid I got something in my eye at that point and had to go for a tissue.

LOL at "we sound fab"

I once had to ring a pupil's mum because her DD had handcuffed someone to a tree and we needed her to bring the key to school.

This is why DH and I are strictly vanilla until the children are older.