lost in translation... is this the most embarrassing comment someone could make in all innocence?

My friend and I were in a restaurant in Egypt and proudly at the top of the menu there was the option of "crap eggs". Err no thanks doesnt sound too appealing.

Trying to figure out which routes to take for a triathlon became fraught with difficulty in New Zealand where they cracked up every time I mentioned "we'll do this route here then? Or shall we do the route by the beach?" a 'root' down under has a different meaning as I discovered.. :o

jacquelinehyde, my DD (2yo) says that! She says "Dada's cock!" meaning his watch that she likes to play with. So far only at home though!

PMSL at Daddy's cock, tiny wanker and No I'm a post office.

absolutely helpless here at tiny wanker....soooo funny! love this thread.

On meeting her french potential grand-mother in law for the first time my friend declare "On se bais?" only to be met with a a bit of a shocked old lady who suggested "Er non! On fait les bises" (I think my rusty french has got that about right). She asked if they should fuck instead of kiss (as in on the check multiple times like the french do)

jaquelinehyde:

in the centre of our village there is an orchard with chickens and a cockerel. On approaching this, aged 2, dd1 would yell, very loudly:

Cock!
BIG cock!
BIG DADDY COCK!

One of my XHs great aunts used to announce that she was wanked after she had eaten a big dinner.

Still to this day I am not sure what the hell she meant - used to raise sniggers all round though!

Champagne tasting in France with friends & the lady explaining to us how the bubbles 'come in your mouth'

"I'm cold. No no no. I have a cold. No. I'm a fridge. No, I'm frigid. No, I'm a post office".

Brilliant.

DD2 (3yrs old) walking round a large supermarket began chattering with a random stranger as usual. To my horror she announced 'I like looking at Daddy's cock'!!!

What she meant was she likes looking at his watch, which she refers to as a clock and pronounces as cock!

I was mortified, DP nearly died on the spot and the stranger suddenly dissapeared. I have no idea how we managed to get out of the shop without being arrested.

Have been laughing out loud at this thread - love it! Particularly like the woman who called her baby a tiny wanker and the FIL's dogging trousers.

H says anyone who can explain with a straight face what dogging is to his Dad gets his vote .

When I was in the Dominican Republic a few years ago, the hotel provided you with a list of information and rules of the hotel.

It asked for guests to 'rectum' their towel,before 10pm.

I hoped,and presumed that they actually meant return.

I'm sitting at my PC at work whilst very important senior corporate lawyers are discussing a deal behind me (am lowly trainee so not really involved), literally writhing with laughter at these and trying not to snort.

This is the most brilliant thread! Please keep telling your stories

Love the 'dogging trousers' .

When I was living in France, there was a young English guy in the same block who was v keen on improving his colloquial French. He heard people using 'une moule' and figured that it was a casual term for a girl. Which is how he came to leave a message on a v straight laced neighbour's door telling her that some c*nt had called .

as an exchange student in France, I was trying to show off in front of my host family that I understood a bit of French, so told the taxi driver in Paris very confidently, ' a la guerre' instead of 'a la gare...'

On hols in Spain I was drunk as a skunk at about 3am trying to get my key into the hotel front door ( which kept moving around, as they do at those times...), and I was then being stroked on the bum by an old gay Spanish bloke mumbling something..
I turned round and ordered him "Vamos!", which I thought meant 'feck off' or some such. Couldn't understand why he said "si, si!" and became even more amorous..

I later discover I was saying "lets go..!".

Confused the poor chap.

Staying with friends in France I walked into the living room and announced that I couldn't find the nipples (was trying to say I couldn't find the light switch)

Siting outside in the garden of a different set of French friends I saw some squirrels on the fence - when they came out I said ' I have just seen some bollocks playing in your garden'

Loving this thread!!
My friend's German boyfriend told her that her brother was wanking at him.......
he meant winking...
wanking winking ....

When living in Italy I once told my boyfriend that when my mother was young she had a 'bella figa' when trying to describe my mother's figure. My boyfriend was absolutely aghast that I was basically describing my mother's fanjo to him!!

LOL Drac. Your FIL sounds fab.

Tiktok
I had a Geordie friend to visit recently and asked her if she wanted pepper (in my Scottish accent). She truly did not understand what I meant, I had to get the pepper mill and show her. "Oh, you mean peppa", she replies. We were both amused at how strong the other's accent was. :o

My BIL was working in Spain and was invited to dinner by his boss. In Spanish, conejo = rabbit, coño = cunt.

Boss served up dinner, my BIL tasted it and proudly said "This is the best cunt I've ever tasted!"

I've told a family in Peru I was pregnant when I was 12...caused a few raised eyebrows (embarazada does NOT mean embarrassed).

My mother learning Arabic was trying to say "It's cold", so she said "I'm cold. No no no. I have a cold. No. I'm a fridge. No, I'm frigid. No, I'm a post office".

PMSL

I once saw a restaurant in France advertising a "paving slab of lamb" and "drible fish".

I know many French who have said "so I was lying on the bitch..." meaning "beach".