lost in translation... is this the most embarrassing comment someone could make in all innocence?

A Dutch friend emigrated to Canada and all the new immigrants were invited along to meet the locals. Another young Dutch man was asked what he did in his spare time. Solemnly he declared, "I fuck canaries". Fokker being the Dutch word for breeder.

I was at the vet's in East Belgium with a German-French speaking vet and a Dutch dog. I couldn't find the word for breeder in German or French and yet on a loop all I had going through my mind was "DOG FUCKER DOG FUCKER DOG FUCKER" - I couldn't even think of the English word by this point and was horribly close to acting out "dog fucker" with hands & body motions. :(

agree trudy - jesus on a soyabean sent me over the edge

Our czech aupair said she didn't like to wear skirts in the summer as her uncles always got swollen!

steppemum that has just finished me off! I am not a pretty sight having just read that, it's absolutely hilarious.

I had some fun with raised eyebrows with the thong thing in Australia too - the British friend I went to stay with over there had coped fine with it til I turned up but then all was lost as I kept collapsing with laughter every time I heard it. So grown up, me

In Prague, on a menu, 'sack of mr town councillor'. Turned out to be chicken Kiev.

A friend of mine once went into McDonalds and asked for a McPolla instead of a McPollo (we live in Gran Canaria). The poor girl behind the counter didn't know where to put herself as he's just ordered a McCock

Just remembered the classic, from a wine list. "This wine will leave you with nothing to hope for".

Well, being very naive of all things naughty and their associated names... once I was telling a colleague that I was going to run a race with my dogs over the weekend, I said I was going to "do a spot of cross-country dogging".

At dinner once a spanish friend exclaimed "I see that you are very constipated" noticing that I was all full of snot from a cold...

My son used to get very excited about seeing the Fat Controller at Thomas' events. Or pictures of aforementioned rotund train person.
Trouble what he shouted sounded distressingly like : ''Fuckin' Troller''

oh god I have just said VERY LOUDLY in class,
J'haBITE with a pause on the "bite" pronounced beet - which means "cock" in French.

The whole back row of boys were giggling - I gave them a stern look!

not surprised, it makes a strange kind of sense!

My DH was staying in Italy for a while, trying to improve his Italian. An old lady asked him where is was from. He meant to say 'I'm Australian but my parents are Italian' He actually said 'I'm Australian but my genitals are Italian'.

Apparently the old lady almost died laughing

I used to live in Indonesia, and had a great friend who told us all the stupid things he had said while trying to preach in church in Indonesian (all these are just one letter different)
Phew it's hot in here, lets all open our trousers (should have been windows)

whole sermon about Jesus riding into Jerusalem on a soyabean (donkey obviously)

and a very common one. I have a dreadful coconut ache (headache)

An Italian student of mine once wrote an essay about his perfect woman. He was looking for someone who would occupy his mind in an appropriately intellectual way. It ended with the words "...but most of all, she would tie me up and I would let her."

Wineonafriday - my mother likes to use "slut" in the old-fashioned sense of an untidy person/woman. Think she is truly unaware that there is another meaning. Led to some interesting scenes when I was a kid, with my fellow 8 year olds looking on agog as my mother told them what a terrible slut I was.

Am loving baise/bises!

I?ve probably made some horrific mistakes but sadly no-one?s ever told me what they are....

The pharmacist here once told me that "I would very much like for us to come together sometime". He meant get together (in the social sense).

I went to China in my year out, and learned a tiny bit of Cantonese, but I wasn't very good at getting the tones right. If we went to visit anyone the highlight would be to feed us a very large meal. I thought I'd learned how to say that I was full, but sadly it came out as "I could eat a horse"!

On a more current note, I was just giving the dog a treat for being obedient, along with praising him. I did feel a bit self conscious about saying "Good come!" to him repeatedly!

When she was a teenager my friend's mum told her French exchange family that she sleeps on a sailor.

Matelot = sailor
Matelas = mattress

This thread is brilliant!

"My ex-boyfriend went to a party where an elderly aunt of the hostess commented that her baby had a "lovely red minge."

That one had me roaring with laughter!

In my german gcse oral exam, my teacher asked me what I wanted from a job. I answered with what I thought was german for job satisfaction but actually said masturbation.

Didn't understand why he turned purple from trying not to laugh, until he told me once the tape was switched off!

My grandmother went through a stage of saying that things went 'Fut' for things that had broken. Unfortunately this was around time my sister had just got together with her partner and it sounded remarkably like 'fuck'. Sister's DP nearly choked at the fact that my grandmother kept saying fuck!

Also my Grandmother, after watching too much TV, started using the word 'slag' in a similar way to the way you might say stupid. So she would say 'I'm such a slag' instead of 'I'm so stupid'.

Again, much giggles in our family!