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to think this couple are bonkers

754 replies

SlightlyJaded · 07/10/2010 10:40

So we have got quite friendly with this couple through school. They are both professionals lawyer/banker and seem to have shedloads of money and live in a beautiful house. But I have always thought they are a bit odd - a few strange random comments and slightly bonkers opinions on things, but I don't mind strange and DD gets on well with their DD.

They invited us round to supper at their big posh house the other night and DH and I made a real effort to 'scrub up'. Paid for babysitter, dolled ourselves up and spent more on wine than we ever would at home.

We get there - all fine and lovely. Glass of wine and chit chat - slightly odd topics (sex life of Nomads in Papa New Guinea and a less interesting 15 minutes on Chinese banking but still...), then we sit down at quite a formal dinner table and hostess serves starter of.... tinned soup. We know it's tinned because it's Heniz tomato soup and there are 3 empty cans in bin... That's ok, we like soup and chat away. Hostess starts laughing uncontrollably at something. Host doesn't think this is odd but sits back and wait for her to stop. We smile and ask what's so funny but she just carries on laughing. Then she stops and carries on talking as though nothing had happened. She then makes a bit to-do and hoo-ha about serving up main course of.... macaroni cheese. Not even baked in the oven, just macaroni stirred into a cheese sauce - like I make for DCs. And that's it.

DH and I eat it and try not to catch each others eyes. Nothing is said about the choice of main course other than 'I hope you like macaroni cheese' so I start to wonder if my expectations were too high? And then we get pudding which is a scoop of Neapolitan ice cream out of the tub.

As we leave, host pinches my bottom in full view of everyone and says 'that was fun' and hostess laughs her head off and says 'pinch punch first day of the month' - even though it isn't. And that's it.

DH says they are a bit quirky and to stop going on about it but I think they are mentalists. I'm right aren't I?

OP posts:
pottonista · 08/11/2010 12:39

Please, please, PLEASE make something from here:

www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/10PM/index.html

I particularly liked 'Lemon Float'. Instructions:

  1. Heat a can of bouillon
  2. Pour into glasses
  3. Float a slice of lemon on the top
PhishFoodAddiction · 08/11/2010 12:30

Haha, Grin at the cuckoo clock!

Cannot wait to hear how the big night goes.

Please do the tower of scotch eggs! You'd really be spoiling Mr and Mrs Bonkers with a sky high pile of scotch eggs...

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 08/11/2010 12:28

Oh, oh, this is the best thread in the entire internet.

"We've got heaps of bottles if you ever want one"!

OP, can I suggest going completely the other way? Really stupidly posh dinky canapes and then one of those main courses on enormous plates that's about three grams of salmon underneath a bunch of faffy herbs, and something unpronounceable and French for dessert.

But serve it on a plastic fold out table with picnic cutlery and a vinyl tablecloth.

ToniSoprano · 08/11/2010 12:17

As Mr Bonkers doesn't like sauce, perhaps you can have a range of ketchups, HP, Daddies etc on the table and stress to everyone that the partaking of these is optional. Am so glad you've invited them back and think cuckoo clock idea is perfect.

What are you going to wear?

I think Mr Bonkers does actually like sauce, he likes it too much, so perhaps you should make sure you dress demurely if you don't want another groping...

TabithaTwitchet · 08/11/2010 11:48

If you like, I can divulge the recipe of my mum's legendary Macaroni Cheese SOUFFLE!

Even as a child I thought it was a bit bonkers, now it is bonkers and retro. But surprisingly yummy Wink At least, as a child I thought it was the best thing ever - my mum used to cook it when we had schoolfriends round for tea, and it attained legendary status in the playground Grin.

WannabeNigella · 08/11/2010 11:43

Woo Hoo!

I'm so excited! You'd think I was attending. (Although span fritters, arctic roll, jelly, angel delight, chicken nuggets etc don't really do it for me Wink)

ApricotWorms · 08/11/2010 11:12

Please please please will you have a notebook at the table and write down bonkers behaviour when it occurs? You'll look proper nuts too but it will make the evening all the more entertaining for the rest of us

ChippingIn · 08/11/2010 10:33

It has to be spam fritters surely? With a side of spagetti hoops then artic roll...

Twiglets with kir royal when they arrive.

SlightlyJaded · 08/11/2010 10:23

Nigella Thursday is red letter day.

Am now truly in meltdown about what to dish up.

OP posts:
WannabeNigella · 08/11/2010 09:39

So......... I'm dying to know......... Is it all on for Friday evening?

Pleeeeaaaaasssssssse say yes!

Miggsie · 04/11/2010 17:53

Well, if one of them is a banker I think it explains the current state of British banks...!

They sound mad as a box of frogs.

Elemental · 04/11/2010 15:25

I was thinking of that WeightWatchers site too, I have a fondness for this one especiallywww.candyboots.com/wwcards/scaryorangesalad.html

Love TLES's sausages sticking out of mash idea. Sausage a la Beano.

JinnyS · 04/11/2010 14:43

It's not a diet I would follow happily

Horton · 04/11/2010 14:41

It is a Weightwatchers recipe but I struggle to see how a bloody great tower of hot dogs can in any way be suitable diet food!

JinnyS · 04/11/2010 14:40

also marking

I have concerns about Frankfurter Spectacular. Is it not a weightwatchers recipe?

Diet food at a dinner party?? It will need some chips as well

Bicnod · 04/11/2010 14:22

marking Grin

Leo35 · 04/11/2010 14:13

Genuinely - turps for the school fair bottle stall???!!! I am almost weeping with laughter at this - the sheer wrongness on all levels!! BTW Are they artists hence the need for turps??

Best of british luck for the dinner party. You are way, way braver than me! We do need to know what you serve for the meal.

Also love the Hallowe'en anecdote. They are rather out of step with modern mores aren't they?

When is dinner served virtually? Can I crash as well. I eat sauce!

Horton · 04/11/2010 14:09

If you have a bottle of wine first, you will probably snigger all the way through the meal and we will have a thread on here from bonkers mother next week fretting about what it was she'd done to be the object of such derision. Which would be kind of wonderful, so I think you should do it.

And please do the frankfurter spectacular. And take photos. I think there's a whole flickr group devoted to people recreating those recipes!

My DD (aged 4) also really fancies the Frankfurter Spectacular. But then she'd probably kill me without a second thought if she thought there was a chance of a hot dog as a consequence.

Psammead · 04/11/2010 13:59

Today, for the first time in my entire life I am going to have mac and cheese. Thanks soley to this thread.

FunkyCherry · 04/11/2010 13:50

Oh, just order in pizza. Then you'll have more time for mumsnetting bonkers conversation.

SlightlyJaded · 04/11/2010 13:40

oooh Frankfurter Spectacular looks amazing Horton

See now in an ideal world, and based on all suggestions, I would serve

Starter: Jelly Salad
Main: Frankfurter Spectaular
Side Dish: Scotch Egg Pyramid
Pudding: Arctic Roll

But I just don't think I'm brave, bohemian or blase enough Blush

Maybe if I have a bottle glass of wine first...

OP posts:
Tinuviel · 04/11/2010 13:25

Well my DD thinks that the Frankfurter Spectacular looks yummy. In her defence she is only 8. (I hope that doesn't reflect badly on my cooking - I promise I've never made it!)

Horton · 04/11/2010 12:44

How about something from this site?

I think this or this would be ideal. And nobody could say you hadn't made an effort...

Anniegetyourgun · 04/11/2010 12:28

Is jelly healthier if it's green?

jabberwocky · 04/11/2010 12:20

"I think most of the menus people are suggesting for a laugh sound quite nice. Except the beet one. And spam trifle obviously."

But beets are so healthy