Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

LOOK!! READ !!!!!!

662 replies

Hbouquet · 05/10/2010 11:05

THIS MUMSNET WEBSITE IS THE BIGGEST GATHERING OF VULGAR, CLASS OBSESSED, SELFISH, INSECURE, VILE EXCUSES FOR PEOPLE, I PITY YOUR CHILDREN.

LISTEN TO YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT CHILD ALLOWANCE, £44,000 IS STILL WAY TOO HIGH!!, HAVE YOU NOT SPARED A THOUGHT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY IN REAL POVERTY?, WHO REALLY NEED STATE HELP....NO, YOU JUST DRIVE PAST IN YOUR 4X4'S WITH YOUR SPOILT, OBESE, ALLERGY RIDDEN SMUG KIDS ON THE WAY TO GET YOUR CHAI LATTE AND M&S PANINI FOR LUNCH, IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THE BLINKERED IGNORANCE AND SELFISHNESS OF MODERN DAY WOMEN IN ENGLAND, LIVING YOUR ENCLAVE LIKE LIFESTYLE, TOTALLY DETACHED FROM HUMANITY, INSECURE 'IM ALRIGHT JACK' MENTALITY, BITCHY, SCHEMING, CLASS OBSESSED, MATERIAL OBSESSED, YOU REALLY MAKE ME SICK TO THE CORE, THE LOT OF YOU.

JUST LOOK AT THE FACES OF THE PEOPLE WHO RUN THIS WEBSITE, LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR, DO YOU SEE LOVE AND HUMAN WARMTH?......NO, YOU SEE CONTORTED, COLD, MEAN, MISERLY FACES, EYES AND MOUTH SCREWED UP, FALSE LOOKING CONTRIVED EXPRESSIONS, A LOOK WHICH SHOWS THESE PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY REALLY ARE, SELF LOATHING, UNHAPPY, INSECURE WORST OF THE WORST, LIFES REAL LOOSERS.

OP posts:
CJCregg · 05/10/2010 13:13

DARLING, LOOSER IS WHAT YOU ARE BEFORE YOU SEE THE NICE SURGEON.

FellatioNelson · 05/10/2010 13:12

cupcake Do yourself a big favour - read the whole thread. It is not necessary in order to keep up, but it is fun.

loopyloops · 05/10/2010 13:12

I'M GLAD YOU POINTED THAT OUT CJCREGG, THE UNNECESSARY PLURALISATION WAS OFFENDING MY MIDDLE CLASS SENSE OF GRAMMATICAL HARMONY.

ALSO, CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT A LOOSER IS PLEASE? THEY DIDN'T TEACH ME THAT AT FINISHING SCHOOL.

messylittlemonkey · 05/10/2010 13:12

classic

AnnieLobeseder · 05/10/2010 13:11

Dammit, will you all STOP IT PLEASE!?! I have work to do!

FellatioNelson · 05/10/2010 13:09

Fuck it OP. I really should not be on here. I've got things to do. (housekeeper's annual day orf.) You know, scrubbing the doorstep, beating the rug, yanking the mangle...I'll turn my hand to anything, me.

But no. Because of you, and the wonderful gift that is this thread, I'm now indulging in the modern day middle-class version of sitting elegantly in my morning room, embroidering and practising my harpsichord and 'receiving' visitors.

JaxTellersOldLady · 05/10/2010 13:09

OP, I dont like Chai Latte, my face is neither wrinkled nor miserly. I pay good money to a beauty therapist to see to that!

Now... do fuck off and don't darken my day.

Off I pop in my 4x4 for a decaff, skinny latte.

PMSL @ miserly, obviously you do not know about many people who have helped or donated to various MNers.

Actually, cant even be arsed to argue with you.

CJCregg · 05/10/2010 13:08

OFF TO GET CHAI LATTE NOW.

NO M&S NEARBY THOUGH.

LUCKILY THERE IS A GREGG'S.

SAUSAGE ROLL DIPPED IN CHAI LATTE? SAME DIFFERENCE?

By the way, this thread is driving me mad- panini is plural.

Had to get that off my surgically-enhanced chest Grin

proudnglad · 05/10/2010 13:06

I USED TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE A SCREWED UP FACE BUT NOW I HAVE SPENT ALL THE CHILD BENEFIT ON BOTOX I LOOK FUCKING HOT.

God I can't wait to read this thread properly.

ChippingIn · 05/10/2010 13:06

Chai Latte sounds disgusting - sorry, but it does...bleurghhhhh (mind you, I drink my tea without milk and the tea bag waved across the top of it - so possibly not the Chai Target Market :)

Morloth · 05/10/2010 13:06

OH I DON'T PAY THEM FELLATIONELSON THAT SORT OF THING COULD LEAD TO A SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT.

bathbuns · 05/10/2010 13:05

GESUNDHEIT op.

Morloth · 05/10/2010 13:04

I HAVE A NESPRESSO MACHINE.

cupcakesandbunting · 05/10/2010 13:04

Only read the OP.

As if we middle-class people would let our children become obese.

That's for the povvoes, isn't it?

YanknCock · 05/10/2010 13:04

Agree, Fellatio, I was expecting the majority of entries to be of the 'I'm more working class than you' type, but was pleasantly surprised.

Those class discussions always confuse me, being forrin and all.

FellatioNelson · 05/10/2010 13:02

Do you have them all over the floor Morloth, like wall-to-wall urchin, or do you just tie one to each foot and replace them when worn out? I think that's perhaps a more green approach, but you are depriving several hundred urchins of expoitative employment, surely? And they need that tuppence.

EldritchCleavage · 05/10/2010 13:02

Oh for God's sake. Wouldn't be seen dead drinking a chai latte. Please re-write OP substituting "Lavazza coffee" for the aforementioned beverage.

AnnieLobeseder · 05/10/2010 13:01

BUT IS CHAI LATTE TEA OR COFFEE? IN WHICH CASE WE'RE DISCUSSING TEA AND COFFEE!

(Do I win a shouty prize?)

Morloth · 05/10/2010 12:59

WELL I KNOW I PERSONALLY LIKE TO HAVE SOME POOR PEOPLE AROUND THE PLACE CHIPPINGIN IT DOES JOLLY THE PLACE UP A BIT TO HAVE ROSY CHEEKED URCHINS UNDERFOOT.

ONE DOES WHAT ONE CAN TO MAKE THEM FEEL AT HOME.

FellatioNelson · 05/10/2010 12:58

My face is definitely contorted now - can't afford any more dermal filler because I've spent all my husband's money on school fees, and dinky basketware items and this thread had made me laugh so much my face has mangled.

I particularly like the fact that I was expecting to read 8 pages about class war.

But it is largely about tea.

Got to love MN.Grin

AnnieLobeseder · 05/10/2010 12:58

If immigrants are getting these free 4x4s too, maybe DH can get one, and we'll have one each!

openerofjars · 05/10/2010 12:57

I think it's just so lovely that anyone can just come on MN and cheer us all up like this. Thank you, OP, for bringing a little ray of mellow sunshine into our blighted lives.

YanknCock · 05/10/2010 12:52

CJCregg, please report back about the aforementioned 'chai latte', I'm dying to know how the mere thought of one has affected the OP to this degree.

So it's women in England that get 4x4s? Do I have to have been born here? If I get one will there be another thread started about all these 'immigrants coming in and taking our middle class ways?'

ChippingIn · 05/10/2010 12:52

Pluperfect how nice of you to mix with the lower class so you feel more rounded Hmm

Honeydragon · 05/10/2010 12:48

Hey Op

See that Mum you're describing...

.... that's your Mum, that is.

Right back of to do some work, got to pay my taxes to help the poverty stricken.

Swipe left for the next trending thread