Hardship loans at uni

Lunaticmess · 2026-08-05T13:11:16+00:00

Not sure if this is in the right place, but I'm looking for some advice. For the past two years, we've been looking after DS's friend on and off who has a hard time at home. For the past 6 months, this has become full time. The friend is going to uni in September and we've agreed to drop him off, but our financial situation is a little rocky at the moment due to both me and DH being made redundant recently. It never used to be an issue, but I have enough stress funding my own children's lifestyles and was wondering if I could seek help for the friend to get some belongings together for uni without breaking an already very broken bank account. He needs everything—clothes, bedding, shoes, kitchen stuff etc. I was just going to go and pick these things up, but I wondered if he could get help by way of a hardship fund. I've obviously looked at freecycle and marketplace to try and get some bits and pieces, but it would be far easier for him to have a loan so he could buy what he actually needs. Does anyone know how to access help? Because we haven't legally fostered, we've received no financial help at all, not even child benefit. Both his Mum and Dad are local to us, but have basically washed their hands of the poor kid, and have made zero effort to get in touch with us to offer any help for over two years. I don't want him to feel like a charity case, but I'm quickly becoming one myself.

Twolittlebirds75 · 21/08/2026 12:30

Lunaticmess · 20/08/2026 23:33

Yes. He has bedding and loads more kitchen essentials than either of us ever had, including pots, pans, utensils, cutlery, plates, dishes, a glass and mug, grater, peeler, bottle opener, weighing scales etc. We want to give him the best possible start, but we don’t want him to be lulled into a false sense of security if you know what I mean. We’re going to help him move in, and take him for his first food shop as well. After that, it’s a bit beyond our control, and we need to be a lot more frugal to help ourselves right now. I know it sounds mean, but I will be breathing a big sigh of relief when there’s one less mouth to feed.

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Nothing you have done or said puts you in a bad light, if everyone in the world was like you it would be a much better place.💕

Original poster

Lunaticmess · 20/08/2026 23:33

Twolittlebirds75 · 20/08/2026 13:50

Is the young person going to live in uni halls? If so a few clothes, towel bedding, a pan and bowl, plate, cup, knife, fork and spoon. Can easily be enough as starting point .
My kids all went and sometimes every student had brought a kettle, toaster etc. And halls provided them. I hope they settle in well.

Yes. He has bedding and loads more kitchen essentials than either of us ever had, including pots, pans, utensils, cutlery, plates, dishes, a glass and mug, grater, peeler, bottle opener, weighing scales etc. We want to give him the best possible start, but we don’t want him to be lulled into a false sense of security if you know what I mean. We’re going to help him move in, and take him for his first food shop as well. After that, it’s a bit beyond our control, and we need to be a lot more frugal to help ourselves right now. I know it sounds mean, but I will be breathing a big sigh of relief when there’s one less mouth to feed.

OP posts:

Twolittlebirds75 · 20/08/2026 13:50

Is the young person going to live in uni halls? If so a few clothes, towel bedding, a pan and bowl, plate, cup, knife, fork and spoon. Can easily be enough as starting point .
My kids all went and sometimes every student had brought a kettle, toaster etc. And halls provided them. I hope they settle in well.

Original poster

Lunaticmess · 17/08/2026 23:25

HewasH2O · 17/08/2026 19:39

I usually donate at this time of year to Centre Point who fund Starting Uni packs for students. Even if he isn't eligible,they might know of other ways he can access support.

Which course is he planning to do? Does he have the tech he will need such as a laptop?

How lovely of you. He has a laptop but I’m not sure how good it is. One of my difficulties is that he doesn’t really talk to me as he struggles with eye contact. This means there’s a lot I don’t know that I could probably do with knowing, but I obviously don’t want to make him more uncomfortable than he already feels,

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HewasH2O · 17/08/2026 19:39

I usually donate at this time of year to Centre Point who fund Starting Uni packs for students. Even if he isn't eligible,they might know of other ways he can access support.

Which course is he planning to do? Does he have the tech he will need such as a laptop?

ElizaSchuyler · 14/08/2026 22:32

He does need to get his status confirmed as officially estranged. For one thing it means he will get full student finance without having to get his mum to fill in the income forms for all years.

he needs to have zero contact with both parents. It’s meant to be for a year but if he can get evidence of why he can’t return home with maybe a letter from his former school etc to back it up that will help.

definitely get him to contact the uni & explain his situation to see if any help is available.

Original poster

Lunaticmess · 14/08/2026 22:29

Sorry. Quoted the wrong post. This is a response to the suggestion that he gets off his arse and gets a job.

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Original poster

Lunaticmess · 14/08/2026 22:23

Portmore · 14/08/2026 19:52

Oh FFS an 18 year old with no parental support is a highly vulnerable adult & needs support.

OP shouldn't be providing ongoing support but telling him 'to get off his arse & get a job' FFS

Finding yourself totally alone at 18 is much harder than as a younger teenager as you completely miss the care system. The future for a young person in that situation is very bleak. Clearly he is getting something right to have stayed on at school/college , got qualifications & got into uni. That's almost unheard of for kids in his situation

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He absolutely plans to get a job, but he can’t do that with 4 weeks to go before uni in a completely different city. I’m well aware he’s vulnerable, which is why I asked for advice in the first place, but he isn’t my child and I’m not at all familiar with the services available or which categories he falls into. He does have some input from a step parent, but they are living hand to mouth and cannot offer any financial support. At least that one cares enough to check in, which is a far cry from the biological parents.

As you said, he is doing something right, and is pretty capable all things considered.

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Portmore · 14/08/2026 19:52

Nearly50omg · 05/08/2026 15:00

start by claiming child benefit for him! Also speak to him and explain you can’t afford this all and he as an adult now needs to get off his arse and get a job like your son has! Otherwise he will expect you to carry on paying for everything and frankly we don’t need another entitled male in the world. If he’s able to claim student loan for expenses then this is what he needs to do!!!

Oh FFS an 18 year old with no parental support is a highly vulnerable adult & needs support.

OP shouldn't be providing ongoing support but telling him 'to get off his arse & get a job' FFS

Finding yourself totally alone at 18 is much harder than as a younger teenager as you completely miss the care system. The future for a young person in that situation is very bleak. Clearly he is getting something right to have stayed on at school/college , got qualifications & got into uni. That's almost unheard of for kids in his situation

Portmore · 14/08/2026 19:47

Lunaticmess · 14/08/2026 01:17

No. Never in formal foster care, and has a home but his relationship with his mother, and siblings (who trashed his room and took it over) became completely untenable. There is a history of drunken problems (though I’m obviously only getting one side of the story—and secondhand through my DS because he’s clearly a bit traumatised/socially awkward. Father is absent but local, and fully aware of his existence, but making zero effort. It’s all a bit tragic, really.

Thanks to everyone who offered me kind advice. In the end, though I wish I could argue that he is estranged, he’s left and come to us of his own accord. He has very little in the way of personal belongings, so I found a secondhand uni starter kit online with kitchen stuff, towels, bedding etc. it’s not been easy but everyone deserves a start. I can’t continue to do this, but I feel like I’ve done what I can. It also made more sense than collecting bits and bobs snd missing something important.

To the poster who said he must have clothes, you would not believe how little he has. It’s pretty sad. Only two pairs of boxers and a few, very old and tired tees and joggers. He has nothing suitable for this weather. I’ve bought lots of socks to replace what were basically rags. Thankfully, my DS is a similar size, so he has been sharing clothes, but might still need to do a Primark mercy mission. I appreciate every reply and will look into any other monetary assistance at the uni with him.

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I can well believe it. The local authority where the school/college is should help

Also domestic abuse charities & services - any abuse within a family is domestic abuse & not just partner to partner.

Social services should be involved too if they aren't already. An 18 year old with no parental support is classed as a vulnerable adult.

MigGirl · 14/08/2026 09:11

Can he open a student bank account, DD opened hers before starting uni and got £100 cash back and just eat vouchers for the year from Nationwide.

There are others available with different benefits. Also looking in charity shops for cloths would be a good idea.

AlphaApple · 14/08/2026 07:30

There will be help available but he needs his status of being estranged etc. to be official. He will be asked to disclose information that he might find intrusive. And he may need to get in touch with social services.

You have done a lovely, kind thing but unfortunately by providing an informal safety net, you have potentially excluded him from more formal support. It’s a dreadful catch 22 position.

AelinAG · 14/08/2026 07:06

If he has little to no contact with mum, and she’s not supporting him in anyway, he’s estranged. It doesn’t matter if it he left of his own accord. Speak to the uni. We want to help.

Original poster

Lunaticmess · 14/08/2026 01:17

Portmore · 13/08/2026 16:06

Has he ever been formally in foster care? Do you have an allocated social worker for him?

Care leavers get automatic support at uni & don't pay tuition fees (this may have changed) and will also get a grant.

Even if it was an informal arrangement it is worth contacting the local authority where you live & where his school/college was as they would be able to advise .

No. Never in formal foster care, and has a home but his relationship with his mother, and siblings (who trashed his room and took it over) became completely untenable. There is a history of drunken problems (though I’m obviously only getting one side of the story—and secondhand through my DS because he’s clearly a bit traumatised/socially awkward. Father is absent but local, and fully aware of his existence, but making zero effort. It’s all a bit tragic, really.

Thanks to everyone who offered me kind advice. In the end, though I wish I could argue that he is estranged, he’s left and come to us of his own accord. He has very little in the way of personal belongings, so I found a secondhand uni starter kit online with kitchen stuff, towels, bedding etc. it’s not been easy but everyone deserves a start. I can’t continue to do this, but I feel like I’ve done what I can. It also made more sense than collecting bits and bobs snd missing something important.

To the poster who said he must have clothes, you would not believe how little he has. It’s pretty sad. Only two pairs of boxers and a few, very old and tired tees and joggers. He has nothing suitable for this weather. I’ve bought lots of socks to replace what were basically rags. Thankfully, my DS is a similar size, so he has been sharing clothes, but might still need to do a Primark mercy mission. I appreciate every reply and will look into any other monetary assistance at the uni with him.

OP posts:

Portmore · 13/08/2026 16:06

Has he ever been formally in foster care? Do you have an allocated social worker for him?

Care leavers get automatic support at uni & don't pay tuition fees (this may have changed) and will also get a grant.

Even if it was an informal arrangement it is worth contacting the local authority where you live & where his school/college was as they would be able to advise .

Gossipisgood · 11/08/2026 12:22

Get in touch with the Uni asking if they have a space where students who are leaving donate things they no longer need/want. It's usual for kitchen equipment & other household things to be offered to new students & the Uni usually have a an open day type event so new students can go to pick up what they need.

Once he starts Uni he can get in touch with the Student wellbeing Team who will give him advice on hardship funds available & how to apply. They can also offer advice on budgeting & other financial tips.

RandomMess · 06/08/2026 08:10

I would speak to the college/6th Form he has just left and see what support they can offer, including if they will offer evidence that he is estranged from parents.

user1494050295 · 06/08/2026 08:04

As an adult he needs to speak to the university about his circumstances and see what help they can provide. Good luck

cmonspring · 06/08/2026 08:02

Dd got a hardship fund for her last year at uni as dh was made redundant and so our income was drastically reduced. If you have a look on the uni website it should have info on how to apply for the fund.
regarding other things he’ll need, charity shops or car boot sales might be a good place to start, also, it might be worth posting on your local spotted group on fb stating the situation and asking for donations. I think you can post anonymously on these groups too. It’s probably a good time as students who’ve been at uni for their 3 years may be Moving back home and also with it being the summer hols, I tend to find that this is the time that people have their clear outs!

MyDarlingRose · 06/08/2026 07:52

Look into grants from charities / the uni for estranged young people - most universities offer these.

hexsnidgett · 06/08/2026 07:50

Bear in mind that as he is 18 it should be him that gets in touch. Although if you call they might be able to advise you more generally and certainly better than I can

hexsnidgett · 06/08/2026 07:46

Which uni is it? They will hopefully have a student services team who can signpost as above.

ElizaSchuyler · 06/08/2026 07:45

The uni my son went to had a start up bursary for estranged students. Check to see if there is anything similar at where he is going.

AelinAG · 06/08/2026 07:42

Does he have student finance as an estranged student?

You need to speak to the uni - where I work we could get him set up with the basics and then apply for a buttle grant for him.

dancinfeet · 05/08/2026 19:44

does your town/city have a facebook ‘free stuff’ type group? If so, might be worth putting a post on there asking for the type of stuff he needs as people will often donate stuff they are wanting rid of.