A Level Results - Can't shake disappointment

Do you have evidence for this?

I have the following anecdata:

A colleague was interviewing candidates for a competitive job and said, impressed, of one candidate, “she's got a first in xxx subject” – from Sheffield Hallam. She got the job.

A friend of mine who went to Leeds Beckett (when it cannot long have been a uni thb) is the CEO of a major public sector org locally and earns three times what I do with my degree from Bristol uni.

A friend's DC is at UWE studying a vocational degree that will lead to certain and well-paid employment – in fact they had a degree-related job, fully paid, in the summer after their first year.

Exact same situation here with my DS.

it has made me wonder about the way that Firm and Insurance offers work though. DS’s insurance offer was only 1 grade in 1 subject lower than his firm.

His exact course at his firm uni is in clearing for lower grades than he got now. So surely they would have/should have accepted him?

As it happens DS actually preferred the course and uni of his insurance (very slightly) and only put them the way round which he did because it wouldn’t have made sense to have his insurance be a higher offer than his firm. (He had other offers but had gone off one, another was the same as his firm and the last was a worst case scenario backup at a much lower uni).

I was devastated for DS yesterday because he was really upset not have for rhe grade he was predicted particularly as it was in his favourite/strongest subject and the one which relates to the course he will be studying. However, with time it seems that in that particular subject rhe grade boundaries seem to have had a bit of a hike and almost nobody has got their expected grade. With this information he felt less sad and has been able to focus on being excited for going to uni.

as his mum I am still a bit sad for him because I just always want him to get everything he wants, especially when he’s worked hard and applied himself. But I think this ‘overwhelming’ sadness yiu speak off is a disproportionate response and perhaps you should look at counselling.

I think ‘mid tier ex polys’ get a raw deal, they are often remarkably good.

RG can be a lot of style (and marketing) over substance.

OP I graduated from a second rate ex poly but I had the absolute time of my life and made life long friends (including meeting my DH with the same career aspirations). Went on to get a masters degree, both got our careers in our chosen (and very competitive) field, have a lovely house in a nice Cheshire village and my DC goes to a fantastic primary school. I can't imagine my life could have turned out better.

Honestly everything will be alright. Xx Send them my congratulations! Their next chapter in life is the best. Xx

I think you are right to be disappointed OP. A degree from an ex-poly is not likely to be well thought of by prospective employers and he could end up with a lot of debt for a pretty worthless degree. Not PC to say that but it’s true.

You need to pull yourself together and ditch the amateur dramatics. Your son is happy. He's got a place. Once he's finished his degree nobody will give a fuck about his A-Levels.

You don't want his memory of results day to be of a crying, disappointed mum.

FYI - I've been hiring/interviewing people for the majority of my career, I've never asked for anyone's A Level results, nor have I been asked for mine.

This.

DD missed hers by one grade too. Lots of unis seem to be accepting under offer but she didn’t get in. After a bit of disappointment in the morning she’s now really excited about her second choice, which she also loved. 25 years ago I didn’t get my first choice either and I’ve had a great career, done a Masters etc. Come on now, it’s going to be fine. ☑️

You should check out the A level results threads. Mixed stories but lots of lovely posters have shared their own stories, and their children's stories, where things have gone awry on results day but worked out even better in the end.

There's more than one there who feel very strongly that experiences can be vastly better at some of the newer unis than the RGs.

This was my daughter ten years ago. I will say the same thing to you as I did to her: second choice does not mean second best. She had a whale of a time at university and went back after Covid to take a masters, in which she had a distinction. She has been working but also has plans to take a doctorate. As it happens, I also went to my second choice back in 1983. I had a fantastic time and made some lifelong friends - indeed I have been staying with my closest friend from that time for a few days.

Pu yourself together op. He's got good results, got into a uni and course he's happy with and now you're going to ruin it for him by crying all over about him going to an ex poly? Can't help but feel that your snobbery is the issue here?

You need to get over yourself. He is happy. It's not about you.

Firstly OP I am sorry you feel so down and I do see that you accept that this level of sadness is not reasonable, and having been there before you want to avoid a repeat, which is commendable. Also that you are hiding your feelings from DS.

But this strikes me Did anyone else not get their Firm and feel a bit like this?

You feel like this, but it’s your DS, not you, who didn't get his firm choice. He is happy about it (or says so). Why not reframe his uni as XXXX uni (rather than ex-poly)? It's been a university for more than 30 years after all.

Yes, a high % of YP got their first choice, for a raft of reasons. But still almost 1 in 5 did not. Your DS did well (six years ago my DD got neither firm nor insurance). Be happy for him and look forward positively. Check out his accommodation and go on a trip to IKEA to buy things he needs.

Is he happy about it though. The level of debt he is going to get into for a midtier ex poly is potentially not worth it if he said, not fully on board.

Can he try clearing?

I know two people who have gone through clearing yesterday.

Of course there are people.

Your ds has got a place at his second choice university and is happy about it. Surely you should also be happy that things are going so well in his life ?