Year 12 - 2024/25 - Support, Discussion and Looking After Each Other (Thread 2)

It's a "no" from MNHQ to my request to rename the thread. They say that the thread has been running too long and I'm not the original poster.

@MamOfTwo DS and I went to Warwick in June. He wasn't that keen, although it will probably be the fifth on his UCAS application. For DS (history) it wasn't the course he disliked it was the campus. I think the Warwick campus is very "marmite". Personally I think the university has got lots of positives but I can see why some people wouldn't like it. Hope the open day goes well.

DD has said Warwick is one of her top choices which was a surprise to me as we didn't visit it back in June! Remind me, was it a hit with those who did visit it? We are going in October. (Tried to search thread feedback on it but volume is too big) I had it down as a maths/science-y uni (massive generalisation, I know!).

I’ve reported the thread and asked for the title to be updated to year 13 - 2025/26. Hopefully MNHQ will be able to do this for us.

Should we ask MN HQ to rename the thread? Or just start a new one?

@bluefinelineras someone who has long been a misfit, also my solidarity to you and your DD. She will find her tribe in the med school, and she’ll also be a stronger, wiser and more compassionate doctor and human being (goodness knows we need more of them!) A brilliant teacher can make such a difference, can’t they? Truly unsung heroes.

@TheLivelyViperthanks for the NEA advice. Apparently it’s all sorted now (and I clearly just can’t keep up with the dramas!)

Oh @bluefineliner I feel so much for your DD. Mine has also struggled with the social aspects of sixth form. She does make firm friends, but most partying doesn’t seem to include her. She has ADHD, which can be a factor I think.

However… as I mentioned, this summer she went to summer school at a university city in France. She fitted right in to the diverse international crowd, self-selecting of course as keen linguists otherwise they wouldn’t have been there. DD had a blast, burned the candle at both ends, enjoyed the bars and clubs as much as the course.

They do find their people. But sending solidarity in the meantime - it is so hard watching them struggle.

Teenagers can be so thoughtless and unnecessarily cruel can’t they?

Teachers don’t get enough credit. A good teacher is worth his or her own weight in gold.

DS isn’t a party type either, although he is going out to dinner with some friends tonight to celebrate the first of the 18th birthdays in his little group. Most of his socialising revolves around the gym and his sports.

@Newlease I can't offer any advice on your DDs exams as I only know UCAT and that has blown my mind 😂but I do wish you and your DD well and totally hear you on how stressful it all is.

DD had her first day at school yesterday and was anxious about going back. Didn't help that the one 'friend' she hung around with most last year decided to just blank her now. There is a lot of 'groups' and they don't allow new people to join in which DD struggled with last year too.

She had a little meltdown at school (even though we'd discussed this possibility happening and tried to plan for it) and her fantastic teacher took her in her office for tea and biscuits and let her stay there and study all afternoon! God I love that woman, she just totally gets DD and calms her down incredibly well, she will be vital this year to keep DD sane. DD is ok now and seems much more philosophical about things accepting she maybe hasn't really found her people but is more likely to at med school. She is so driven and can be difficult fitting in large groups, this is nothing new, but I feel we are now accepting this is just her and it is ok for her to be like this as long as she is happy.

Everyone else's kids seem to be out partying and socialising but DD is much more of a homebody but seems happier like this.

DD went back to school on Wed and already have lots of tests and other stuff lined up.
Sleeping very late and eating less, anyone else? Prepping for ESAT is stressful, she goes TMUA, ENGAA past papers and these are all slightly different in terms of difficulty and timing. Even if they know all this, not able to finish papers/less marks all not helping. I am constantly telling her to cover all the things she have,so may be get time to have another look later? Anyone has any better suggestions please let me know
@JustHereWithMyPopcorn NASA trip sounds amazing, DD was well jealous.
@GameWheelsAlarm DD went to the same school so she was not as worried, but had subject selection discussions until the end of year12x about right choices!!!
As others said, like everything else in life, it takes time to get used to it. If they thought over and over again on things, then I would say stick with what’s in hand, give it a go.
@JessyCarr happy to hear that all prep helped and exam went well. Knowing what to do is a great thing. You only have one focus, great way to succeed, in my opinion.
We haven’t seen Manchester yet, but that will be our 5th one. DD thinks, we can have a look after ESAT, thanks for suggesting that. They also have a slightly different course than she is looking at now, in case as a Plan B. So thank you!

DS is back today and feeling nervous. Unfortunately his car failed it's MOT so I will be driving him to college thankfully it shouldnt cost too much to repair.
@MiniMidiMaxi the cards sound like a lovely idea.
Almost feeling glad DS ain't going to uni after hearing about people le struggling with accommodation one family DS was going to Leeds found out last min they needed to go private after being told for weeks they had student accommodation.

No idea what we are doing for DS 18th or if doing a party it's in November he is the oldest out of his mates so hiring somewhere will have problems as I know most of his mates will want to drink.

Honestly I was exactly the same a while ago with history A-level, it was the enthusiasm of others answering questions and knowing so much that made me question why I am doing the subject and think that I wasn't cut out for it. Get him to focus on himself, even if others are more enthusiastic, that doesn't always meant they'll be better at the subject, and it doesn’t mean he won't be good at it as well. Give it some time and let him fully adapt, it can take longer than the inital few weeks for some especially whe going somewhere very different. He'll grow in confidence and likely be fine.

My son changed school for sixth form and I was really quite worried about him for the first half term as he just didn’t seem to settle at all. I’m not sure what happened but something in him clicked and by Christmas break he was completely on course and focused. I think it’s very natural to have a big wobble at this stage @GameWheelsAlarmparticularly if choosing between two very different choices. As others have said, just support them and be a good listener. All the best.

@JessyCarr - the Manchester course sounds amazing 🤩 and a weekend in Edinburgh is never to be turned down. I hope the open days goes well.

Thank you for the information about Exeter. DS seems keen on it being his insurance choice (assuming he gets an offer from one of his other choices). I will keep an eye on the accommodation situation.

I second the idea of tutor @PinkChaires. If you have a local university there are probably PG students quite happy to offer assistance with A level essays. Try facebook for local tuition or there are lots of online tutoring services available which your daughter may be getting adverts for via her SM already.

Thanks @JessyCarr and @TheLivelyViper - we do think this course is a good fit but there's no other course at the same college that would be better, as it's a specialist college for a very particular career path which DC felt set on. The crisis seems to be mostly because the other people on the course are just as enthusiastic but appear to DC to be ten times more experienced and talented and it's triggered a massive confidence dip where getting the place originally back in April.(subject to minimum gcse grades) had previously given a confidence boost. Then after GCSEs DC had a confidence dip and explored a completely different potential career path and was considering doing a completely different course, but then rallied and decided that the original course was genuinely the right choice. We seem to be flip-flopping between east and west. I do think DC has more capability and talent than they think!

@GameWheelsAlarm I wouldn’t panic just yet, but I do think it makes sense to acknowledge any misgivings and keep lines of communication open (both at home and with pastoral staff at the college). At this very early stage, changes can be made if need be. Does DC’s academic track record suggest to you that the course is a good fit?

It is normal to be unsure. Especially if they move schools, or start new subjects. I remember it took me almost near March to feel like I shouldn't drop A-level history and that I was really bad and stupid compared to the rest of the class, especially as we had a case of so many boys interrupting girls and just answering as if they had written a book on the topic and knew everything and weren't struggling at all. I felt that they were ahead of me (due to different GCSE topics even though A-level wasn't the same but their GCSE topics helped give more context to it). In reality I had the highest essays consistently and the boys constantly saying they were better didn't, but I didn't know that in lesson. I shouldn't have let then get to me or think I wasn't capable. I do History at degree now with politics.

It really makes be think of the butterfly effect (one random decision changing the whole trajectory of your life). For me it was in Y9 loving geography and planning to do it at GCSE, then a course counselling with the deputy head who told me I was better than geography and shouldn't limit myself and that I should do history as it's better (not that I think this, well I do think history is better), I was like I really don't enjoy it, he said I should and in the moment I said yes. No thought and I didn't want to at all, then basically the same for choosing it for A-level, I was going to do economics and my history GCSE teacher had been trying to get be to choose it for A-level but I didn't want to and didn't have a love for it. Then on the first day of GCSEs, I had R.E and after I randomly emailed the 6th form I applied to/was going to and said can I switch econ to history. Not that I was passionate, I still don't know why (mix of impulsiveness and relentless persuasion from my teacher I guess). I wasn't excited and thought it would be my '4th A-level' and I loved my other subjects so much more. Then had my third butterfly effect and woke up one day in y12 to y13 summer and thought,' How hard can it be? Boys do it' and realised history and politics was a thing. I wasn't even liking history that much at that point, I'd only recently in the last few lessons of y12 where we were learning coursework content, like the arguments about when militanism is justified etc and even though I didn't expect to enjoy coursework (our school choose the topic), I started liking it. In my personal statement I talked about how I hated history up till late KS4 (did some good, out-there topics, not many people do) and how I still didn't like it that much but then linked it to histograpgy and the rest. Anyways, long story short, don't let yourself think too much about other people and you're more capable than you think.

was it only the induction? Is there any chance to change subjects at their current place? My dd felt really out of her depth at bio a level last year, and after the first lesson seriously considered dropping it. She decided to continue only because she could change until oct half term. She stuck at it, and is now predicted A. She slowly gained confidence as her test results got better. I think its very common to think what have i got myself into the first day, but once they settle a bit they are fine. If hes still feeling like this by the end of sep i would reevaluate

I'm an interloper on this thread as all your DC will now be just starting y13 and mine is just starting y12. Thinking back to this time last year - if your child was overwhelmed, stressed out and having zero confidence in their ability to tackle the course they had chosen after the first couple of days of the September term in 2024, what happened next? Did they discover confidence and enjoyment in their course and it all got much better, or did it deteriorate? How common is it to be totally disheartened when the slick and upbeat recruitment communications of a college that we get right up until the moment of registration segue into the day to day work of getting through the course? I know that all courses for 16-18yos are hard work, whether it's A-Levels or a vocational/practical course. My DC came home after thr induction day feeling totally shellshocked by the presentations of what the coming year will entail and has been considering asking to switch to a different course at a different college - two unrelated directions of vocational/technical courses, DC had offers for both and picked the one that seemed more interesting. My view is that the other course would probably be feeling just as overwhelming at this point and it's better to stick it out at the chosen college rather than changing out of panic, but I'd like to know whether it's common for a 16yo to feel this way.

Yes i think i will get a tutor, but not sure where to start. She has an assessment in two weeks which will determine if her grade will be pushed up to an A or stay as a B

You could get a tutor and they could do it? Or maybe anyone in univeristy doing History at degree or who did very well at A-level. I'm sure they would do it for a small amount. Otherwise, I'm not sure, it's best to have a teacher mark it, maybe a different teacher in the department.

Are there many Arabic and IR or Politic courses @JessyCarr? I know Sheffield has a Politics and Modern Languages course (whether or not it specialises in Arabic, not sure). Does she want to do her language as language courses on the side and then do something like IR and Politics as the main degree? Just what some of friends with language interests have done, but Arabic on its own is also a great degree, it's very sad less languages degrees are being taken up and are being dropped by universities.

@Waspie Exeter is still on the list as it has a great reputation in her lead subject (Arabic), but their accommodation woes are real and, due to planning/building delays, will not be resolved in time for 2026 freshers. It’s not the most important factor but it is one of a few issues which may push Exeter down the list. Edinburgh has a lot of factors in its favour and she’s going up there for a few days at half term to stay with a friend who’s just starting now, and to attend the open day (plus parties etc, no doubt!).

Also Manchester has a completely fab course which nobody else offers: Arabic (or another language) with International Disaster Relief and Humanitarian Response - how beguiling is that for a young linguist who wants to save the world? They do placements with NGOs and other agencies such as the International Red Cross, Médécins sans Frontières etc. It may end up being too specific for DD at this point, but we are both looking forward to the Manchester open day to learn more.

Does anyone have any advice on where to get history essays marked outside of the class teacher? Thanks!

DS doesn’t seem stressed about the return to school, although he has had a head cold this week which has screwed up some of his plans. He seems better today though fortunately.

I’m glad your daughter’s economics exam went well @JessyCarr Is your daughter still thinking about Exeter next year? I have been skimming a thread on the higher education board which suggests some issues with accommodation. I hope this is due to the ongoing refurbishment of some blocks and will be resolved by 2026.

I’m pleased your son’s NASA experience was good @JustHereWithMyPopcornHope the maths homework isn’t too onerous and his party goes well 😊

I like the photo playing card idea @MiniMidiMaxi- inspired!

Which topic is your son doing for his history NEA @ComingInByAnsible? DS is doing the French Revolution and has read a several books and articles over the summer. He has lots of notes but I don’t think he’s started writing it yet.

No I don't have children, but I work in educational policy, changing subject exam specifications and curriculum rules from a more government side and also exams, working on digital exams etc, working on creating AIs accessible to students that would do marking (so the can use for practice, it wouldn't supplement teachers but would give them opportunities to do more past questions etc and get good marking) some new debates that have arrived over AI and coursework, hopefully we'll keep coursework (seems to be the way exam boards and government want to go) but we will need to adapt it, which I think will happen anyway. I wasn't directing the comments on AI to you sorry, just my general thoughts on it. Q

Yes they don't use Chatgpt but the software is the same, they haven't developed it more, it's essentially copying it and just adding in more legal info, the actual sort of mechanics aren't really changed. Newer Chatgpt software is up to the task, the most expensive one would be and the one for businesses which is the ones law firms are using (as in the software and the same programming codes, like it's not a massive upgrade just small tweaks, but thw components are the same), if that makes sense. I've seen firms use this across the firm, for drafting contracts etc and documents, they use it to waste less time as well as for research, and they use it to gelp with client pitches etc. I don't know loads about it but the 2 I know of are used for that, may be different in different specialisms and firms. I don't really think it takes that long for her to weed out bad answers, depending on how much you're doing, but that's fine, it's just a suggestion, if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to. But when she's at school, as you said the questions are good, she could practice them and then give the longer answer questions to her teachers if she wants. Depending on her exam board, I think these are typically 15 and 25 marks. She seems to be doing well anyways, and I'm she'll do fine, revising in whatever way works best for her.

I’m not sure why you are talling me this stuff. I am more than a little familiar with YouTube tutors and with AI. In my bit of the legal profession we use bespoke AI programs to assist with research (but specifically not ChatGPT because it is not up to the task). And yes, my DD can recognise obviously bad outputs in economics as can I, but we are both busy enough that we don’t want to have to weed them out. Do you have a Y13?

Well Chatgpt is a tool and when people know how to use it well it works well. So for example always adding, don't make cases or whatever up and fact check the information. I know many law firms have copied Chatgpt (not added anything else to software) but made an in-house version for data reasons and use it to make the draft for a contact. It's then quicker for lawyers to adapt it. It's a tool which works well, the better input, the better output.

I'm saying you have to use it, just an idea, completely get buying papers if you're running out of questions, and can't find videos or random resources with some. I'm glad it helped her out and I hope she got what she needs. It is going to become commonplace and I think as a whole (not just in education), it's better to learn how to use the tool well then to completely disregard it. It will be in workplaces and people who can use it and add to it, with their own knowledge and skills will be preferred over those who don't use it at all. It can quicken processes and let humans do the important things, and spend more time on that. For example teachers spending more time with kids and teaching, doctors spending less time doing admin and more time with patients. It's another tool, just like Excel, if you don't know how to work excel it's pretty hard and you won't get good results, when you learn some of the codes etc, it can be amazing. AI is similar, and it's improving every day, it's not like the industrial revolution because that was a few changes slowly. This improves every day, every few months there's a new better model and it will become in some way involved in every job. Whilst I have some concerns, environmental etc; on the whole that's where companies and the markets are going and many governments.

I'm not saying to completely trust Chatgpt, just an example. With past papers as much as possible give you work to teachers. I know she was on the holidays so different. But teachers are happy to mark work when kids put in the effort. Also kids should be able to recognise a very wrong answer from Chatgpt, I think most can, as they know they content and I don't think are too naive to recognise it can get things wrong and not to completely trust it. Not sure about the answers, as I've mainly used it for essay subjects and so don't ask for answers but would give it to my teachers from there.