Year 12 - 2024/25 - Support, Discussion and Looking After Each Other

Sorry to hear about the DDs having issues with friends! It's a nightmare had it for years with DD.
DS is enjoying college 6th form doing ALevel Accounts Geography Business Studies and core Maths they also do 3 hrs of enrichment he had chosen hockey but that has stopped as not enough kids so swapping to athletics. Was worried about the size but information evening last week was very good. He missed a hockey class as forgot his stuff and was signed up to chat with tutor nrxt day so they are def keeping in touch with kids.

So sorry for those of your DCs going through the friendship issues. I was bullied aged 15 and had to change schools in a rush it was so bad. I recognise the bullying techniques described here. i lost all my friends one by one. But I then met lovely people who helped put me back together and I am sure this will happen to your DCs too, and 6th form is the place for this! New blood, young people growing into their own, and there will be some mature, kind and thoughtful kids in there. Hang in there!

Things seem to be going ok for DS here - they’ve been going over old content in his maths classes, but it sounds like they’ve jumped right in with the hard brain-expanding content in physics! And he’s really enjoying Economics. Not that much in the way of homework yet. But we’ve managed to move his driving theory test forward, it’s now a week away (he turned 17 this week), so he’s trying to learn all of that content quickly! First driving lesson on Sunday.

He had good news too, he’s been accepted onto a competitive in-office work experience week over October half term as an introduction to finance and accountancy, he had to pass a few online assessments to get it. Should give him a good idea of whether he’d like that kind of work - he flits between the idea of finance or engineering at the moment.

Your poor daughters. I hope things settle for them soon and that they make some decent friends who aren't fair weather. It always seems harder for girls (sweeping generalisation of course).

DS hasn't made any friends yet either, but (another sweeping generalisation) boys just seem to join a sports team and have an instant set of acquaintances to grunt at in the cafeteria. DS has joined as a newbie to an existing cohort so is finding that quite difficult - everyone else has known each other for five years and he is a stranger.

It's early days for them all - they will find their people in the next couple of weeks I hope

@wonderstuff and @steppemum I totally feel for you, at this age we are open to knowing all about our DDs feelings and worries but unable to do very much practically. I had a few days when every time a message from DD popped up on screen my heart sunk, not wanting to read the contents.

I could have literally written your posts Wonderstuff, including the better day one! My DDs better days have carried on all week so far, I am silently praying we have turned a corner, but know better how quickly things change in a day 😂.

Steppemum, we had those tears (and a few rants at DH and I) too, I agree patience and time will undoubtedly improve things but it is hard to think that far forward in their position I suppose. I really hope your DD has a better day today and that the ex friend keeps away

@steppemum thats really hard, I think you’ve given her good advice though. It’s such a big transition, my dd has had some teary moments lately as well.

Oh dear @steppemum - it’s not easy is it? We’re finding it a bit like the transition to Y7 - complete with all the newness and social angst - but with extra potentially life-changing decisions on top!

we've had our first friendship wobble.

dd started a new college with no friends, fresh start after bullying and friendship issues. But she had a really close friend out of school last year, who goes to same college. In August they had a massive falling out, and now don't speak.

Today dd was sitting talking to someone to get to know them and this ex-friend came up and joined the chat. dd went silent, and then it was time to go to next lesson. She said ex-friend and potential new friend were exchanging social media stuff and dd feels bereft.

I know why it is hitting so hard, this is what her bully did, every time she made a new friend the bully would get to know them and turn them against dd. It was so bad that school had to make her (the bully) sign a behaviour pact about not doing it.

So trying to reassure dd, early days, lots of time ot make friends, just get to know people, don't bare your soul on first meeting.
lots of tears tonight. Which I think is actually because everything is new and it is stressfull, and she is trying to be positive and pro-active and on top of everything. I thought sixth form might be a bit easier.... (for me !)

Well dd was much happier today, she had a good maths lesson and felt she understood better than some others and was able to help the really clever girl next to her. It’s quite the rollercoaster! She answered questions in class in economics, which takes a bit of courage for her, she’s fairly introverted, and she asked her tutor about changing her timetable. So we’re going to see what next week brings but I’ve a much happier child today than yesterday.

At dd college lunches are staggered and cafe is always open, one of her friends has made a spreadsheet of timetables so they can all work out who’s around at the same time! I think they mostly stay on site, but as predicted there is a shortage of work spaces in the library, they’re thinking about finding a cheap cafe in town with wifi for free periods. Enrichment starts next week so hopefully pressure on library will start to ease a bit then.

We've also got ongoing subject dilemmas! Here DS is considering swapping DT for economics to go alongside maths/FM and physics. Either one looks sensible to me, but I think economics might be better because if he drops FM he is left with 3 solid a levels without the 50% coursework of DT which is going to be total drain of his time in year 13. I've been told he will make a decision tomorrow! We shall see.

He has to be in from 8:30 to 15:30 every day with a half day on Friday and Friday morning is all free periods. So apparently he has been saving up his homework so he has something to do tomorrow!

Just popping in to sympathise with those whose DCs are unsure about topics. A daily topic of discussion for us here - DS is unsure whether to do English lit or RS. We asked him to try Lit out seeing he got a strong 9 in GCSE, and he enjoys it. It's a small class with the best English teacher in the school, he's giving it a go. However he is very keen on RS too as philosophy is a top degree option, and he cant see himself dropping it. He's got Maths and Psychology otherwise so he can branch out to either philosophy or Psychology, or something combining both, at uni. Dilemma!

I think it's a good exercise though for them to weigh the pros and cons, speak to their teachers and start making their own decisions. I'm trying to step back this year and let him step up (had to be very involved last year with ADHD diagnosis, access arrangements with the school, and general revision support). However no sign of homework at home so far - says he does it all in free periods and every spare hour is spent in the gym! Hope he has the right judgment, otherwise I guess he will find out soon enough...

Really helpful to get an insight into everyone's experience on here. Great support!

DD spends her free periods with her friends and they often go into town. She’s still bored shitless though! First piece of homework today and she did it in her free period so that’s something I guess. She can leave any time she wants which is good I think, she came home at 1015 today and made me some cookies 😜

In DS's school 6th formers get lunch last (after Senior School), so they all spend lunchtime lethargic and hangry. Or maybe just DS.

It's interesting how schools and colleges treat free periods. My DD's school 6th form requires them to be in 8:30-2pm. They can only leave the school premises in the 5th (or 6th) period - only if those are free periods.

@optimisticvibes Mine isn’t allowed off-campus in Y12 (that’s a Y13 privilege) but I think they encourage them to be in the library in free periods and then socialise at lunchtime. I’m sure your DS will find his way, and even if he is outwardly scoffing at your wise advice it will have registered somewhere. Deep down!

Subject choices going well so far, wk2 and getting into the swing of things academically. Is anyone else's child finding it hard to occupy themselves during lunch/free periods? DS has not stayed in school for any free periods yet. He either comes home or leaves to go for a walk with a friend (they already know each other). Am slightly worried that he will struggle to make new friends if he doesn't stay on the premises... He had high hopes for making a new crowd of friends but it isn't happening yet...
When i suggest him staying he flies off the handle, he's obviously a bit stressed and anxious...

@anoukis Love that from your DD - she sounds fab!

@SunblockSue we are in a similar boat. DD is doing Biology, Chemistry, Maths, and Further Maths. She was invited to take the fast track Maths course because she got an 8 in GCSE Maths (a couple of marks off a 9) and an A in her FSMQ OCR Add Maths exam. The Add Maths course curriculum overlaps with A-level Maths, to some extent, and that is supposed to help.

So she will be studying the A-level Maths curriculum in year 12 and sit the exams at the end of year 12. FM is over 2 years, normal pace, exams year 13. The good thing is that there are only 7 students in her fast track Maths and 15 in the Further Maths one.

The main problem though - she was told she couldn't drop FM in year 13, if she wanted to - this is due to the school funding rules, they need to study 3 subjects in year 13. Also, many unis base their offers on 3 A-levels sat at the end of year 13 in the same session, so it's a bit useless to sit the Maths exam early. And TBH she doesn't need a 4th A-level, 3 of them would be perfectly fine.

So I'm a bit worried about workload in both year 12 and year 13. DD doesn't want to drop FM, as she likes Maths. However, I'm not sure whether she realises how tough the workload will be. She is considering either Medicine (:sigh) or biotech/biomed research for post 18. Not 100% decided yet.

Her days are quite full: 4 A-levels (with Maths being on a fast track). For her enrichment she chose Gold DofE, which means athletics training 2x/week (this isn't new, it's her usual sport), 12+ months volunteering in NHS 1x week, and likely an online 6-month cookery class (1x week). For DofE Gold, there will also be a 4-day expedition at some point and a 5-day residential trip.

On top of this, if she does decide to try for Medicine she will need to do UCAT prep, interview prep & wider reading, summer medical work experience, etc. I just feel like it's too much. Summer of 2025 will be crazy.

Having said that, DD is motivated and less sceptical than I am. She talked to her teachers and form tutor about the workload and she is confident she can do it. She also said something that sounded so mature so I kinda' stepped back and I'm letting her do her thing: "Mum, the workload for at uni for someone studying to be a doctor will be tough. If I can't cope with 4 A-levels and some extracurricular stuff, then I should probably do something else with my life".

@wonderstuff I hope your daughter's chat with the careers adviser goes well. I think it was on noblegiraffe's thread where it was stressed that maths, more than any other subject, is cumulative and that students have a personal ability ceiling. Like you daughter my son got a solid 8 at GCSE, and had toyed with taking maths A level, but has decided against (a good choice in my opinion). Maths is the most popular A level currently and I think lots of students feel they should take it, rather than they want to take it.

I'm glad your daughter is feeling more positive now @bluefineliner. Freshers event sounds good fun! Hopefully she will really enjoy the mentoring.

DS is loving his classes - the teachers are good, class sizes are small (fewer than 15 in two subjects) so they can debate and discuss topics in class. He says the change from GCSE is noticeable in that his classes are comprised of students who want to study and don't act out during class. He has fallen in love with 'Paradise Lost' and there is a History trip to Vietnam next year for which he will need to save a lot of pennies! We have a teams meeting with his tutor later today - just a meet and greet but nice to have.

@wonderstuff I had similar conversations with my DD who has just swapped maths for psychology. I am actually glad she has done this as the pressure of trying to get a good grade in maths may have been too much for her. She loves psychology now and is v enthusiastic about the teacher, she is also really motivated for chem and bio which she needs As in too.

DD is having a much better time now after the first bumpy days, She is full on into her homework and has had opportunities in her classes to answer questions and prove to herself she can do this!

On the enrichment side, they had a mini freshers yesterday to sign up to things, and DD signed up for mentoring y7s in science, one to one mentoring a y11 in chem, training to be a mental health supporter (not sure of the exact title!) and attending a medics class after school to practice ucat questions. Phew! not sure she will stick at it all, but the mentoring will be fab as this is right up her street. She needs to wait now to see what she gets to do but is very keen to get involved. I wish I'd known this was going to happen 2 days ago, I could have helped calm her down when she was struggling.

Changing subject does seem to be perfectly normal at this stage still which is important if they don't take to their chose subjects.

There is a careers advice centre, I’ll encourage her to head there tomorrow too. Thank you.

@wonderstuff I think that your instinct that she needs to talk to her tutor is the right one. This isn’t a decision to rush. Perhaps over the weekend she could have a look at some degree courses that she might be interested in and see what they require. It may be that what she leans towards isn’t a very quantitative economics degree (which would require maths, but would it play to her strengths?) but rather something which she can achieve without it. It’s a tough one, no doubt.

As well as the tutor, is there also a careers adviser she could speak to?

She isn’t sure what she wants to do for degree, so wants to keep options open. She is considering finance and is really enjoying economics. In year 10 she did some data analysis as part of her work experience and after that considered statistics as a back up option if she missed maths, at that point she was predicted 7, but it all clicked in year 11 and she decided on maths instead. Stats would still go well with psychology and economics but would still close some uni options.

Her dad and I got really mediocre GCSEs and did social sciences at A-level, the only uni our parents did was open university and we don’t feel terribly well equipped to advise her!

@wonderstuff Forgive me if you have already mentioned this, but does your DD know what she wants to do after A Levels? Or what her third subject would be if she swapped out of Maths?

FWIW my DD got a solid middle-of-the-band 8 in Maths GCSE and I am glad she didn’t go for it at A Level. I think the jump would have been too much.

Hi all, I’m reassured ours isn’t the only bumpy start.
Need advice for dd, her maths teacher is very strict and old school it seems and she thinks other maths teachers are more supportive. Today teacher told them maths is really hard and if you’re finding it hard now it’s best to swap out - I feel this is poor given it’s the second day of teaching and also that maths, like other subjects can be learnt with the right attitude. Dd said the thing they were doing in that moment was straightforward, but other aspects that lesson she found difficult. Her class is mostly kids doing physics and further maths, whereas dd is doing economics and psychology.
She’s been told by her tutor (another maths teacher) there’s a chance she’ll move classes next week because her current timetable has one day with just a 20 minute session on it.. she is wondering if dropping maths is the right option. I’ve advised to talk to her tutor tomorrow. She’ll close quite a few options for uni if she doesn’t do maths. She got an 8 at GCSE. I don’t know.