Year 12 - 2024/25 - Support, Discussion and Looking After Each Other

@bluefineliner That sounds tough for DD. Just a couple of thoughts as we had similar a couple of years ago with one teacher that was very 'hands off' and one that was very supportive and lovely - it was very much a Miss Trunchball and Miss Honey scenario. 😂

Firstly I would reassure DD that when she gets used to this teacher's style it can actually be quite effective and more line with teaching she can expect if she goes on to university. It's a very different approach but getting used to independent study and researching, making own notes is a good skill to develop.

Rather than going to the HOD and complaining about him can she speak to the teacher 121 after class with some specific questions that she'd like advice on? Ask him to explain xyz as she's not sure she's got it? Could she show him her notes and ask whether she's on the right track?

I'm not condoning his approach of holding up work and making comments but do bear in mind that teenagers are prone to exaggeration at times. Some teachers do go in hard at the start of Y12 as it is such a leap from GCSE to A Level and they want the students to work consistently from the beginning.

Finally, my DD ended up with a lot of respect for Miss Trunchball. She found the first term very hard but once she understood the expectations and demonstrated that she really wanted to learn, she had a very good relationship with her. Having two different teachers worked well - there were times that Teacher A could explain something in a different way to Teacher B and vice versa.

Morning,

Would appreciate your opinions on a little issue DD is having. New 6th form, used to good teaching (with the odd rubbish one) but is aiming for As at A level and capable of getting this. She has 2 biology teachers, one (head of Biology dept) is amazing, really supportive yet demanding and pushing them all to achieve well. The other an older male, been in post many years, teaches by telling students what subject they are doing, to go away use google and learn it, answer the questions set for homework, then go over it when checking their answers in class. No guidance or teaching prior to this.

DD is struggling with his method of teaching as she is spending huge amounts of time trying to understand complex things with no guidance, she is upset and feeling like she is already behind her peers in other classes who don't have this teacher. She did some work over the weekend and teacher looked at hers first (she had missed one question out as she had no idea) held up to class said it was basically rubbish and how disappointed that the whole class are rubbish and won't do well as they aren't trying. He told DD that A level biology is 'self taught'.

It is early days yet, and DD can be a drama llama but I've just reassured her we will get a tutor if this carries on as I can't see the school doing anything if he's been there years. DD is not the only one to feel like this about the teaching (or lack of) her peers agree but are maybe less vocal/concerned yet. I agree they should be more independent when studying, but the difference between the approaches of the 2 teachers is huge and I'm not sure what (if anything) to do about it?

DD is very motivated and driven, loves school and got a 9 at GCSE, so is not not making the effort. What would you do?

ETA She is going to speak to HOD but hasn't had chance yet but I don't hold out hope of anything other than DD being singled out as a trouble maker. I don't want to be that complaining parent either (never done this in her whole school years so far).

DS has been applying for jobs, but no joy so far - we’re not in a tourist spot, but we’re close to a big retail centre with a fair few chain hospitality businesses too, but after 20+ job applications so far, no success. The Christmas temp jobs are starting to appear, so fingers crossed, but there’s a big student population nearby so may be a challenge.

DD1 was paid to support younger children with her sport. Then COVID struck and it closed so she set up a pretty successful Etsy shop and made a couple of thousand with that over a year. Then closed it due to A level work pressures. DD2 volunteered at our church cafe drop in over the summer so may try for a cafe job as they'll give her a reference and she enjoyed it.

DD tells me she has applied for loads of jobs and got nowhere, what she hasn't done is go round the businesses in our village in person asking, which I'm sure would be more fruitful, she's too shy. She's just been looking online. A couple of her friends have jobs in pubs, one is working at M&S at a local service station, I did encourage her to do her referee badges years ago when she was playing football but again, too shy! I really think it would be a boost, I loved my Saturday job when I was a teen. I am hoping shops in town will start recruiting for xmas temps soon and that will be a way in?

jobs - ds worked in a small high street shop at the weekends and in holidays
dd1 did shop work, then in a soft play, and finally in Toby Carvery. Toby's was by far the best -- kept to the rules about breaks, only put her on shifts she was free for (Clarks shoes kept giving her extra shifts midweek, which she couldn't do) but best of all, you get loads of tips waiting tables at Toby's which doubled her pay some days.
It alos started midday or later, which meant a saturday lie in.

It's probably not suitable but DS is a referee. He's gets paid £20 a match and does under 11s

He did 3 matches on Saturday so got £60 for that and each match was 40 mins

No, sorry. My son is doing History but all of the online resources they are using currently are internal; via Teams channels and the LRC. I've also bought the CGP revision books suggested by the school for Economics but that's all so far.

Thanks @bluefineliner. I certainly agree with your comment that "I think they need to try and be patient and ride out these initial uncomfortable situations of being alone. Easier said than done though." I'm glad your daughter is feeling that she has made the correct decision. Her school trips sound good too!

DS has a potential history trip to Vietnam next year but it's not confirmed as they are having difficulties with arrangements/internal flights and timings.

@JessyCarr - DS is coaching tennis lessons for 8 hours spread over Friday evening and Saturday morning which leaves lots of time for other things. His friends are doing things like - washing up in the pub kitchen and another at a coffee shop. One is managing orders at the local Dominoes, another has a weekend job at the garden centre as a general dogsbody.

DS' girlfriend went to the Fulbright event in London on Saturday and a few of DS' fellow classmates went too. She is planning to go to a couple more open days this term. DS' school have told them (and us) that the boys are not to attend open days until the summer as it's their belief that it is too early and there is no merit to going. After their mocks (just after May half term break) they are allowed up to three days as approved leave for open days and they will go with predicted grades in hand. As DS has no idea what he wants to do, or where he wants to do it, I don't see any point in open days just yet. I have suggested that he register on the UCAS website so that he can use their resources.

Again it’s so interesting to see how differently things happen in various settings.

Our school publish a list of trips every 2 years for all years. That includes the dates and approximate costs of all trips from the fairly local residential for the year 7s, trip to the mosque for year 9s etc right up to the skiing trips and South Africa trip in 2026 for the then years 11,12 and 13. It’s really helpful for planning and making choices.

in Wales we have the Seren Foundation for high achievers. DS has already been to an information session in school about Oxbridge and we’ve got 2 sessions on Teams coming up about it too. There will be summer schools available next summer, they’re usually in Oxford and free of charge as well as lots of other completely optional opportunities available through that which will be useful in university applications. School give them a special book for recording this type of extracurricular activity in preparation for their UCAS applications so that they don’t forget what they’ve done!

Job wise I know 16 year olds working in McDonald’s, Costa, Pets at home etc as well as in local cafes and restaurants. One has a lifeguard job at our local pool and another does some hours with a local landscape gardener.

DD started at a local pub in June and absolutely loves it. She is working one full day on a weekend and one evening shift (6-10) midweek just now but that will reduce as time goes on and the school work increases.

She waits on tables in the restaurant part, takes orders, bills etc and sometimes goes over to do a breakfast shift. We live in a touristy area so it is always busy. She is on a zero hours contract but there are always loads of hours if she wants them.

She has settled in well to the team and it has given her something else outside school to focus on. Obviously on top of that she is earning money (£10p/h!) so has now treated herself to a pair of expensive boots that we would not have bought for her. It is one of the most positive things that has happened for her in the past year and her confidence has soared too.

DH was a little concerned about it being a pub, but our older DD did the same and DD2 will not work on the bar until she is 18. It also helps massively that the pub is less than a minutes walk from our house, so no transport issues. All the local kids have p/t jobs like this in the village.

DD and her friends are all started with 11plus centers, marking jobs/ help with homework. If that’s any useful for you. DD only did in year 10, and now looking at Kumon/Explore learning. None of them replied to her emails. Another Kumon near her school asked but she can only do one day out of three. So I am in same situation, not sure how others find jobs, not that DD does many after school jobs.

@MiniMidiMaxi Glad to know there are other schools, doing the same. The teacher who talked about during info evening but came out as negative as he can, on kids aiming for Oxbridge and we are in a super selective. We haven’t started any talks at home and DD don’t have anything in mind explicitly.
we don’t have any trips on anything, is this school trips we are talking about? I thought it’s DoE.

Can you recommend online learning resources for a levels. History business and media.

Can I ask - of those whose DC do part-time jobs, what sort of jobs are they doing? DD wants to earn some money, and her babysitting is quiet right now. She’s going to go around the local cafes, shops and cinemas in case any of them desperately need an unskilled 17yo on a casual basis (!). We also have a large teaching hospital nearby but I don’t know whether any of their roles would be suitable. We’re in London with excellent access to public transport - if there’s anything inspired we haven’t thought of that works for under-18s and doesn’t require a commitment to more than a few hours a week, I’d be grateful for ideas!

@Newlease DS’s school were the same, saying there not going to authorise time off school for uni visits yet, triggered by requests for upcoming Oxbridge open days (it’s a state selective grammar that normally sends a fair few kids there, and some parents are very invested) - and that spring is soon enough to start all that. Just as well, as DS doesn’t have a plan of what he wants to study yet.

I wish we got a list of upcoming trips! We had this problem a couple of years ago, when we committed to one trip then they offered another and we couldn’t afford both. He’s just heard about a trip to CERN in Switzerland (studying Physics) and you have to think, when would he ever get that kind of chance again? She says, forking out for driving lessons.. . think this might be peak parental costs right now!

@JessyCarr oh, your poor DD! How come the school already started this talk? Mine on the other hand, asking kids to stop talking about “I want to go to this uni” and didn’t let them go for an Oxbridge open day recently because they should focus on learning right now than UNi.
@bluefineliner I wanted to say the exact same thing that the friendship issues/ getting into new situations are better now than at uni! But didn’t want to say it wrong. DD is too comfortable with all her friends in same school even though all different tutor groups and it’s just another new class for her right now rather than the big change others are experiencing. Uni would definitely throw her into deep end :(
congrats on every one who managed to get to remark stage, we did try with German but the examiner didn’t respond in time/not given papers to remark, so left it like that. Would have been good as it was only one mark less than grade boundaries.

DD is going to Paris in October half-term with all the French A Level group (Y12 and Y13). £650 for that. I do think it will be a good bonding experience for the group.

I think she’s having a wobble about university getting too close! She’s been very settled for some time on exactly what course she wants to do and her top two uni choices, but now that school are banging on about UCAS forms coming up “sooner than you think” etc, she doesn’t want to think about it! She’s declined to go to a forthcoming Open Day and just changes the subject. She’s a home bird really and although I think she will flourish at university when the time comes, the being away from home bit must suddenly feel very real.

Morning 😀

@wonderstuff great news on the grade increase for your DD. Hope she starts to feel better about things soon after the tears. I think I underestimated how difficult it would be for my DD starting a new 6th form knowing barely anyone else. Even though she is confident and will speak to anyone, she has found it hard initially, but seems to have settled ok now. I am partly relieved she is going through this now though, and isn't stuck in some far away uni accommodation crying to me about not liking it! (that will probably happen too though! 😂).

@Waspie hope your DS feels more settled this next week. My DD is almost the opposite, went from selective girls grammar to mixed 6th form. She moved to get a new bigger group of friends because the old school cohort was very small and established with a few 'strong' characters who took a dislike to DD.

She has a sleepover with 2 friends who stayed at their old school and interestingly the same 'strong' characters are excluding others still. This helps confirm to DD she's made the right choice. I think they need to try and be patient and ride out these initial uncomfortable situations of being alone. Easier said than done though.

DD had a list of school trip options to various European destinations. We promised her she can go on one as she never got to do any from y7 to y11 because of covid. They range from £700 to £1100 for approx 3/4 nights (Rome, Paris, Berlin etc). It is going to be an expensive year with that and driving lessons/car next year!

DD has first chemistry test tomorrow so is going to revise all day today, it will be interesting to see how she does at A level now compared to her usual GCSE stuff.

The twins’ bursaries have come through thank goodness. It covers their travel to college and text books so it’s a massive help.
They are both throwing themselves into college life, keeping up with their homework and enjoying the new routine. I’m impressed with the college too, it seems very organised (unlike their haphazard secondary!).

DS seems to be doing well started getting tested in subjects. Still seems like a long day with bus delays etc. His enrichment choice was cancelled as not kids. He isn't doing DofE DD is thankfully no surprises when they get to gold as told all the prices at the start. We did get the first request for payment for Geography trip needed for ALevel course total of £350.

@wonderstuff sending you both virtual hugs. Being a teenager can be hard, with emotions up and down all the time. Everything seems so important to them and they feel like no one can understand them. It's lovely that she shares these moments with you even though it's sadness. Time flies so fast though, you blink and it's gone.

So my DD changed her 4th subject last minute, deadline was yesterday. She switched from Further Maths to Physics. Her other three are Bio-Chem-Maths. She likes Physics and she's had a hard time picking between FM and Physics. I'm worried about the workload, but she is very enthusiastic about it. I guess it could always be dropped if it becomes too much...

She went straight to the Physics class yesterday after the switch was approved. Spent one of her frees yesterday going over what was taught in class until now, with one of her school friends, and decided this weekend to catch up on it using the PMT website as she has no notes or books. I don't know where the motivation is coming from but I hope it lasts... :)

How frustrating @anoukis and I agree DfE seems ridiculously expensive!

We had tears again last night, dd said she didn’t know why she was sad, she just was. I think it’s just a lot, college, growing up, she’s got a couple of mates who are having a hard time at the moment, her cousin (in the same year and friend group) is being a bit of a knob and being quite unpleasant towards her best mate which really puts her in a tricky spot, we’re coming up to dbil birthday which is hard for DH and may be explaining my niece being particularly tricky (bil died a few months ago). We had hugs and an early night and hoped it would all feel better in the morning.

I had a rotten time at school and so college for me was just fantastic, but dd has had a much nicer childhood and I think that might make becoming an adult a bit daunting? I’m confident she’ll be just fine, life is just like this isn’t it!

Cost us £65 with Explorers for the practice walk and £180 for the final walk.

£1500 is a ridiculous amount to pay.

Well done to your daughter @wonderstuff

DS is still full of cold and has now given it to DP and I. Thank goodness it's Friday at least!

Brilliant news @wonderstuff ! Glad things are more settled too. DD finds out today whether she has made various sports teams - otherwise trucking along nicely. Happy Friday to all.