What are you doing to support your lacking-in-direction, lackadaisical 15/16 year old for post GSCE choices?

@Beignet I feel for you. My Ds is around 18 months behind his peers academically. I have found from other mums that many children with SN get mature little later than their peers. Positive side for your DD is high score IQ and supportive college. My Ds was reluctant to have Talking Therapy needed for anxiety. Constant reinforcement with some examples helped. Even though he has made friends in college and very happy to hang around during break time, he still doesn't plan outings with them, he is not confident enough. I am sure there will be other students with Dyslexia at college, she can find out from support teams. Just give bit more time. I wish her and you the best.

I have the same issue, 15 yr old DS who is unmotivated to study for GCSEs or to make any decisions about what he will do next year.

He’s had a careers interview at school, been to a careers fair with us, and one college open day so far (more planned). But it’s like pulling teeth. At the careers fair he ended up playing with Lego… He seems too immature to be making these decisions.
I think he just can’t imagine not being at school!

GCSE predicted grades 4/5s so not looking good enough for A Levels, and also I know how hard they are and I just don’t know if he has the skills even if he got the grades.
We’re looking at BTEC options, maybe Science as they are his favourite subjects.

I don’t remember my parents having anything like this sort of input into my education.

Lots of teachers btw have had another career outside teaching. I would estimate a good deal more than 10%, at any rate at the school I worked at. I can think at once of at least 20 (and there were not 200 teachers!).

The 20 includes me btw tho I am not sure that it made me a better teacher. The three best teachers I have worked with, whose skill and ability and knowledge and empathy I would rate very highly, were all career teachers.

I do agree tho with @TizerorFizz that dedicated careers advice from someone whose specialism it is should be available to all teens.

haha Agree @TeenDivided was going to post similar.

Summer borns - I have two, was not an issue.

The vast vast majority of ppl in England don't do 11+.

Taking a day off sick is not the end of anything; and yes IME many teens do have an idea of what they enjoy at age 16 and are more than happy to stop studying the things they dislike. I'm glad I don't (or rather DD doesn't) live somewhere where all 16yos have to keep going with maths and science until they are 18. She would have hated that.

@Postapocalypticcowgirl Exactly. (Yes I get irony!)

The vast majority have not had another career. Even if 10 out of 100 have, that’s very limited experience and advice. Hundreds of jobs will not be represented or even thought of. Let alone how to achieve them. Teachers have often been to one uni or maybe a pgce year at another. They are not best placed to advise because most have done school, uni, school. So many say “unis are all as good as each other” or “ I went to X and I’ve done ok” which is also useless advice. None will have done an apprenticeship. None will have been to a FE college. None will have a grade 1,2,3 in gcse English or maths. Dc deserve qualified advisers who understand all the options. Not a teacher with yet another addition to their job that they are under qualified to do. Dc deserve better.

Yeah, no teacher has ever had a career before teaching, and certainly has no knowledge of local employers or universities.

School have to provide some kind of careers advice.

At my DD's school every y11 had a meeting with a member of the SLT to check they had suitable plans in place for post 16. The school provided good information on post 16 options from end of y9 onwards, including notifying about open evenings at all the colleges (A level and vocational). Also info on apprenticeship, forces etc.

Teachers signpost Dc??? Oh dear no. What world of work knowledge and experience do they have? Very little and should stick to what they know.

I didn’t say it was the best way to decide who does what and where but history cannot be swept under the carpet and who would then decide who is capable of what? GCSEs are not a bad indicator of what further study should look like and Oxford score them for admission. So do a number of other unis. Predictions for A levels might be wrong. GCSEs are results.

Yes, and that made sense when people left school at 15 and did the same job for the rest of their lives! Now they have to be doing some kind of education until 18, so what's the point of doing GCSES more than English and Maths? Their teachers should be able to signpost them to appropriate post 16 specialisms from their 5 years at school. Just because something was done 80 years ago doesn't mean the world is the same now.It also doesn't mean that was the best way, when swathes of people were written off to be factory fodder and women were undereducated in the main into administrative jobs no matter their ability.

We have had exams at 16 since the year dot! My DM took exams at the start of the Second World War. Most didn’t as they went to non selective secondary schools or stayed in primary schools until 14/15. Few could progress to good jobs straight from ordinary school. So we expect certain levels of achievement to access HE and FE but FE courses can be accessed with a variety of grades. Many are practical but if DC don’t engage with anything, there’s a problem. Years ago this wasn’t tolerated as money was SO tight for the majority. Parents expected money to come in. You didn’t dare not to work!

@TeenDivided what I meant was the UK is not just England eg not every part of the UK has 11+, or the same cut off dates for intake, or Reception year.

Does he want to join the armed forces or you just feel it’s a last resort?
As a family that comes from generations of them who joined, there are lots of amazing things to come from it discipline, travel, multiple different vehicle licences, fitness, invaluable skills, lifelong friends & apprenticeships just to name a few.

I didn’t join the forces or have a clue what I wanted to do, in the end my parents forced me into a college course I hated and secretly quit a few months in, I got an office job and worked my way up over the years.
I had worked as a waitress since 14, so wasn’t lazy just wasn’t sure and found school hard.

Summer borns in Reception - if people are worried they can delay a year.

11+ - most people don't do it, as most areas don't have grammars

life path at 15 - I would moot that most kids do have an idea at least what they want to study next, and no one is committed to a 0 year career just because they study something at ages 16-18, changes of direction are always possible. The main system even allows for a false start as you can do 3 years in 6th form if you need to swap courses.

What you have to remember is MN is not representative as people who post on the education boards are self selecting.

You mean you’re glad you’re not in England.

I have one of these! DS2 got mainly 5s at GCSE. He wanted to do A level biology and go to uni (I had to explain he wouldn't get to uni with only one A level), but couldn't because his English grade wasn't good enough (he's dyslexic and we hired a tutor to get him up to a 4 in GCSE).

He was then completely lost and demotivated to do anything, every time I asked him what he wanted to do, he just shrugged. It was incredibly frustrating.

In the end, I told him he had to choose something from the local college and he decided on an Applied BTech in science.

He dropped out after less than two terms, but it turned out he'd actually researched courses at different colleges and had signed himself up for a 2 year diploma in biology.

We're really hoping that he enjoys it and sticks at it, but I have resigned myself to the fact that he may take a while to find his niche. We're happy to support him while he meanders his way through this stage of life though as he has worked part-time since he was 14 (but doesn't want a career in his part-time job, he just does it for the money).

Clicked on this thread because I have a struggling 15 year old and now so thankful we’re not in the UK. The english educational system seems incredibly pressured at every turn - from worrying about summer borns in reception, the consequences of taking a day off, hothousing the 11+ and now trying to choose a life path at 15.

My DS is in Y11, is bright but does the bare minimum and is predicted 5/6s so far. At the moment he wants to go to a grammar in the next town for 6th form but doesn't know what he wants to do. It's lurched between A levels then officer training in the army, to plumbing, working in a gym (a big hobby), to university. Most of the things he's suggested need him to pull his finger out with his studies but he is more concerned with his girlfriend, his WhatsApp groups and the gym, or talking about school food fights, than he is about getting the work done. I think this is a terrible age for GCSEs and big decision making. Whoever arranged this education system didn't have a teenage boy because their hormones alone don't fit with what's required of them at this age!

I have found my people on this thread! Dd is back in college resitting her Maths and doing a Btech. I'm posting this at 4am as I can't sleep as I had a tough love conversation with her today.

She's dyslexic but scores a high IQ. I've never given her any pressure on exams as I know it can stress her out. I never saw her revise for her Gcse's and tried the gentle encouragement approach. It didn't work and she didn't do well in her GCSEs. I never really saw her revising (although she states she worked incredibly hard!). I did see her lots watching Netflix, doing hair/makeup....

She was embarrassed with her gcse results and we visited a local college which was friendly and supportive. She is doing a Biology course which chose quickly and then refused to discuss it further. 6 weeks in and we had a teary evening as she hasn't met any friends in college and doesn't like the course.

She won't take advice and refuses for me to support (ie contact pastoral to see if there is another option for her).

I have told her this evening that she probably didn't work for her gcse's as I never saw her with a book. She has to apply herself or she will end up with no opportunities. I will contact the college tomorrow to see if there is any more options for her. For the friendship development - she has been at college for a few weeks and this will develop.

It's all very stressful for her (and me!).

@weasle I think people who are diagnosed before they go into the forces is a non starter. It’s a profession where every aspect of life is regimented and any unpredictability is an issue. In a way, you stop being you. You become the army’s possession. Problems certainly can surface afterwards but that’s not the same. REME might be practical but it’s still following orders and direction. If he might like this area of work, why not look for BTec types courses in engineering? Or electrical trades? Or motor mechanics? Obviously electric cars are a different proposition but still need servicing.

Am I join this thread, my DS 15 is emotionally immature, predicted all 4s this week whereas last prediction was all 5s. I remind him of homework deadlines but he regularly gets detentions for not doing it. My and DHs parents just left us to get on with it and we were self motivated (as is our DD) but DS is not. He wants his own business when he leaves school but with no money and (probably) few GCSE passes when he leaves school he is living in cloud cookoo land. I don’t think he stands a chance to get to sixth form but there is a good college nearby.

We are stuck with DS15 with similar issues. Probably 4s and 5s at GCSEs and will need to leave his selective school. He's got no inspiration for any post 16 courses. I don't think A levels are right for him at all. Difficult to find a good BTEC option. Maybe a trade. He'd like the army maybe something practical like REME but apparently autism even if mild is an exclusion. I'm astonished as surely lots of undiagnosed ASD in the armed forces?! Anyway, we have sadly crossed that off and still searching for something else he might find a spark of enthusiasm for.

Take them to careers fairs, FE college open evenings , get them to talk to the careers advisors at school (we have one in 2 days a week, I’ve only just found out and 2nd dc is in year 11!).

dc1 is very capable but not very motivated. They George pretty good GCSE’s after not a lot of effort. Did a level 2 btec last year at FE college, passed their driving test and grew up a lot. They’ve just started a level 3 btec apprenticeship and are loving it.

dc2 is much more motivated and on line to get a fantastic set of gcse results. They want to stay at school to do A levels and then join the army but having (very well controlled) asthma will probably get in the way of that so we’re having to prod them to look at alternatives.

There is something for everyone but it’s really tough when they’re not sure what to do. I would definitely suggest getting out of the school environment if they it sure what to do. College treats them much more as adults and some kids seem to thrive on that and really do well in a different setting

Not lots. The norm was university then chartered.

If you mean get a job while they’re still at school or when they leave school then of course. My son has a p/t job whilst still at school and his peers are all desperate to work and earn money. Again, it’s the norm.

Lots of accountants took 18 year olds and trained them up to be chartered. We need more routes into jobs but young people need to find direction and purpose.

Yes. I do think young people should think about household costs and aim to help by getting a job or doing training that leads to a job. Or what self respect do they have?

Back in the 80s Highers and O levels were required for those courses, yes - although accountancy required a degree and several years post qualifying training and exams (my husband is a CA to trade). The others were not degree courses but teaching was a 3 year course at Colleges of Education (I applied and was accepted , although chose not to to up the place). The jobs that my friends went into straight from school at 16 often required O levels but not always.

The continuous assessments in National qualifications still don’t result in boys achieving as well as girls. It’s not interesting’, it’s a fact. Lots of research around sex based bias and lack of male maturity if you wish to read about it.

Re DS contribution - was that aimed at my son?