What are you doing to support your lacking-in-direction, lackadaisical 15/16 year old for post GSCE choices?

Mine is at sixth form now but we literally dragged him through GCSEs and he thankfully got his predicted 4s and 5s. (He could have done better if he had worked smarter)
Sixth form not working out, he may stick it out, he may try college next year. Unsure about what he wants to do.
The point I would make is that I would not just leave them to fail GCSEs, it's too complicated to resit them these days. I think some of the accepted wisdom harks back to a time when it was easier.
Now I am trying to back off and leave him to "fail" at sixth form if that is what happens as he can pick himself and go a different way next year if he wants. (It is still super stressful though).

Do took an extra year to get to uni than most of his peers.At the time it was a big deal, retaking a year etc, but looking back he needed that year to mature and actually a year isn’t a great deal in someone’s lifetime/career.

Do step back for your own sanity. Taking the pressure off helped us and him. And actually he’s doing really well under his own steam now. I think had we kept the pressure up, we wouldn’t be where we are now. It’s hard to keep quiet, but they have to want it for themselves.

I’ve met my people here, although it’s obviously not a club that anyone wants to be with. My mum friends all have 15/16 year olds who are focussed, working hard and we couldn’t be more opposite. He’s just done his nicks and I don’t think he revised at all, and his predicted grades are 3-5. He had to be dragged to sixth form open evening and couldn’t wait to leave, and hasn’t looked at any of the sixth form or college courses print outs that I did for him. I think he is in denial. It can be a very isolating place when you compare your child to the high achievers and glad I’ve found this thread.

If he's predicted mostly 5s then he can look at T level courses which are the equivalent of 3 A levels.

Take him to a few college open days. My dd is the same, so I've said look for something take enjoys doing, go for a course that will give her enough points to go to uni if that's what she wants after 2/3 years. She's now looking at an animal management course which will be 1 day at collage and 2 days on a farm. Will also need some voluntary work but will give her enough points for a uni course or a decent start to finding a job.

That's great he's revising though and that he'll consent to support from you and your DH - I can't even get DS to do that.

Well DS has his mocks next week so we will see how he gets on. He is doing revision with lots and lots of support from DH and I and under duress. Anyone need to know anything about Weimar Republic and Nazi Germany I’m your gal! 😬

No GCSEs here.

Possibly - he did better in his Nat 5s than he did in his prelims, but they are quite blase about them as they all seem quite confident that the mocks are harder than the actual exams. I suspect he will spend S6 repeating his Highers - I'm just hoping that extra year will see some maturity and a bit more of a focus on his future.

Maybe he needs a shock? So hopefully his mock results but even if he doesn't do well enough in his actual GCSE it may be a kick up the bum he needs.

Yes, an avid football player

Does he play football?

I’d love it if DS showed an interest in an apprenticeship - I think he’d be more suited to something practical with support to gain qualifications that would lead to a productive career. Sadly he’s refusing to discuss an alternative option - trade, college, apprenticeship or the forces are all met with a “no”. He’s decided he wants to go to university for some reason but isn’t prepared to work for his Highers and is refusing to acknowledge he’s nowhere near the level he needs to be working at.

Taking my mum hat off and putting my work hat on, I work with lots of young people on apprenticeships. All of them are lovely, hardworking , and doing brilliantly. All of them have to do a lot of coursework while working and without their mum hassling them to do it, and not only do they do it but when they have finished ask me what they should do next! Some of them are having to do functional skills alongside, but a majority got all their GCSES ( One all 9's) Some went on to A Levels and decided they weren't for them, a couple went to University and decided it wasn't for them, one was so complete burnt out ( high achiever) they dropped out completely and went full time at their Saturday job in Tescos for a couple of years before going back into education. They are all working and doing well just a few years later, and all will come out with the same qualification. I desperately want my DS to do well because it does make it easier, but GCSE's aren't the end of the world.

So parents’ night went as expected - FFS. I honestly don’t know where we go from here. His elder brother and sister got through their Highers, went to Uni and got their Masters - but he’s just refusing to acknowledge that he’s not where he needs to be, refusing to put the work in and refusing to discuss college or a trade as an alternative. I’m at a complete loss.

That was my ds. He went to college, hated his course so changed it after a year. Still wasn’t engaged but at the end of that second year (first year of his new btec) he suddenly grew up as he realised his original mates were off to uni to have fun, so he decided to pull his finger out for his last year at college and is now at uni himself.
He had to make those decisions for himself though. Whilst at school we encouraged, bribed, came down hard but nothing was working. What did work was backing off completely and just waiting for him to mature and realise the importance of education for himself. Being bored in his part time job helped!

@SirChenjins you made me 😂
@Rollergirl11 I have noticed with my DS on ASD that he learns things bit late then his peers then eventually gets there. I understand its not ideal when it comes to education. They will excel in what they have passion for. I have passed through these worries. It doesn't help. For your wellbeing do you go to Coffee mornings or Meets and Chats for mums/parents on SEN? It definitely helps.

@SirChenjins

I’ve got one who plans to be a physio for Man United - perhaps they’ll meet each other pitch side 😂

I’ve just tried to have a conversation with him in the car while he’s not able to run away but it’s like getting blood out of a stone. Doesn’t want to go to college or do an apprenticeship, just wants to go to Uni to do <vague wave of hand> something in sports, but no idea what (other than the Man U physio…) - and the chances of him getting sufficient Highers are slim to none at the rate he’s going. Parents night tomorrow - oh joy.

I have similar concerns re ds2. Away with the fairies, wants to do something sporty but knows not what. Tried to explain that becoming a physio and getting a job at Chelsea football club wasn't realistic.

OP. He can apply for as wide a range of courses as he likes at this stage. he doesn't need to finally decide until end of August. Or he can wait to apply until July, but then he may find some courses are full.

Level 2 Horticulture would be outside I guess. I would at some stage get him to look at the spec. It is likely to be something like 2 days theory and 1 day practical per week (plus if needed English / Maths on top).

There is of course also Conservation, Arboriculture and also something like Outdoor Pursuits. Then you have Uniformed Public Services a lot of which would be outside in real life probably.

Horticulture is parks and gardens. Conservation is wildlife reserves. I know this as it is all part of 'land based Industries' along with Animal Care, and DD had to do a multichoice exam which covered these (as well as Floristry and Farming).

@converseandjeans i think we can agree on all that! I taught and now tutor MFL so I agree, it can be a real challenge, and that includes for native speakers.

Aldo deffo agree re uni - it’s not for everyone, and that’s totally fine.

@clary

MFL is one of the hardest especially as there are native speakers who take it. Also lots of different skills needed.

I don't think any A level is easy - I also think apprenticeship route won't necessarily be a doddle. I was brought up to think traditional A-levels would be the best thing to do. But as I've got older I see people who were far less academic than me getting on just fine & often earning more. Luckily I'm old enough to not have student loans. I don't know that I would recommend uni now unless there was a specific course they wish to do.