DS is not sure if he wants to go to uni in September

Following - my dd is also in the same position.
She failed part of 1st year and been offered a 2nd semester resit but after Xmas.
She's in turmoil what to do, she's not sure she wants to resist at all and instead maybe drop out of uni to work and reassess her plans.
Stressful times at the moment but am sure she will choose what's right for her (so hard to see them feeling that stress though).
Reassuring to see others in similar situations and their dc is doing well now.

What did your son decide to do? We are having the very same thing with our daughter. I think she's going to have a year out, but it's been a stressful time deciding!

My son was moody and difficult during this period and eventually said he wasn’t ready and deferred a year. When we spoke to the uni they said they felt that the difference the year made was immense and the drop out rate of the older ones was tiny by comparison and they recommended it.

He worked for 6 months and travelled for 6 months and returned a different person, raring to get to university having met so many people on his travels who had finished and had loved it.
He never looked back.

If your son doesn’t want to go to uni or defer, what does he think his options are?

On less than £50,000 a year? That would not buy much, even 4 years ago. Well done him though.

@ManchesterLu You do realise many degrees don’t have a defined related career path? They are not all vocational, and neither should they be. Academic degrees are gateways. They open doors. Not every job expects pre trained applicants. Lots of workplaces benefit from a wide variety of grads. Different ways of thinking and solving problems often makes employers stronger and better without “group think”.

He referred to it as debt when he was looking at Uni at 18. Is apprenticeship finished at 21 he got a new job then went on a 6 week holiday to Thailand Australia new Zealand and the US before starting he was earning £50k a year later his graduate mates from Grammar didn't earn that. Obviously he earns more now.

We live in greater London he's 30 now and brought his home 4 years ago.

University shouldn't be the default choice unless they find something else to do. They should only go to university if they have a genuine interest in the subject, want to spend 3 years studying it intensely, and want to follow a related career path.

Otherwise, it's just a very expensive 3 years when they could have been working elsewhere, gaining real life experience, and working their way up within a company.

If he's not sure, he shouldn't do it. He can always go in the future if he changes his mind.

Awww I was in your position this time lasts year with my 17 year old DS
He deferred his place an Uni, the night before due to start. He felt too young, and overwhelmed. He took some time to mull over options, and with encouragement got a job in admin at local hospital. In less than a year he’s changed so much, grown in confidence and seen a bit of real life. Earned and saved so I really thought now he’s got regular cash coming in he won’t want to study. However it’s the opposite, he doesn’t want a 9-5 job and has taken up his place to start again in Sept. He’s a different lad.
Taking some time to think and chill is definitely the right plan .

Sounds like he’s picked the wrong subject to study. If it was my DC I would support their decision and make it clear that there is the expectation that they will need to find a full time job if they aren’t in full time education.

How bizarre. You think someone with a MEng is the same as a school leaver? What have they done at uni you ask? Maybe you need to look at, and understand, what is required for a degree at a decent uni. Plus an understanding of transferable skills is always a bonus in recruiting people or no one with a non vocational degree would ever get a job.

The blunt truth is very very few 18 year olds get degree apprenticeships. It’s a tiny fraction of those starting uni. They are currently a drop in the ocean. I do not believe in saying they are an option for the majority. They simply are not. I would agree they should be far more widely available and the current stats are a scandal. So any careers advice needs to be honest. Degrees are the way the majority now get work. And yes, employers look at uni because they actually trust highly regarded courses. If they didn’t, why would unis exist? Academic isn’t a ring fence. The skills learnt are transferable to work. Most employers understand they need a blend of people to be successful.

Yes, but many people with degrees will never earn that much. Or earn it young enough for it be of any use. So how is that relevant?

A degree is an academic pursuit - it's not a substitute for actual work experience. You mention 'grads' not being good enough... well, what exactly have they done to make them better employees than someone just out of school? That's the point I'm trying to make. At our company (large MNC) both apprentices and graduates have the same recruitment process online tests, video interviews, competency questions. Of course, we know that an apprentice will have less to talk about (instant fail for any graduate who has no examples beyond uni group projects), but the bar isn't lower in terms of potential.

Also university name is not at relevant as it used to be- most large graduate employers don't place large emphasis on it anyway (except for specifics like investment bankers and Magic circle law firms).

I don't believe in telling anybody what they 'should' or 'should not' do by the way. You seem biased towards a degree at all costs. Of course, if someone's got an offer for Oxbridge, LSE or Imperial. Or doesn't know what they want to do, by all means go to university.

But if you're sure - AND your career choice has a degree apprenticeship - that's a better choice. I agree that apprenticeships aren't an option for the 'majority' because they're a) for certain fields only and b) location. But they're not just for those with no options.

What one should avoid at all costs however is rushing into uni just because everyone else is doing so. No harm in taking time to think. This cohort will probably be working until they drop dead anyway with our current demographics.

To add: My local uni lists social work degrees via an apprenticeship. Then it says you need a qualifying job first! It’s poor info if you want this route. So whether they are available to 18 year olds is open to question.

A salary of £50,000 sadly doesn’t go far in London.

A degree in some subjects and from some unis is very worth it. You don’t always pay much back either because it’s salary dependent. Only around 3500 under 19s get degree apprenticeships . The vast majority doing them are older. So in many companies degree apprenticeships are very very competitive for young people and the DC getting them are hardly back numbers snd are equal to very many grads in A levels. However getting the degree might take longer and often it won’t be from Durham or Bath. So it’s a different product and route into work. With the numbers being so tiny in apprenticeships any company thinking grads are not any good is deluded though. Maybe the better ones don’t apply?

Degree apprentice social worker looks possible but my LA doesn’t list them at the moment. The glib comments suggesting apprenticeships are a true alternating for the majority are wide of the mark. Hardly any available.

There are now social work degree apprenticeships

'Grad tax', 'debt', however you reframe it it's still money going out of your pocket. The bigger issue however is the required financial contribution, burden on parents.
I'm not saying that people shouldn't go to university at all. But going away for 3 years at the age of 18 might not be the best decision financially if you can get there via other means.

What's wrong with waiting a year - applying for apprenticeships etc, exploring other options? While they are 'competitive' you won't get one if you never apply, and there are also degree apprenticeships.

Top-up degrees post professional qualifications, OU, distance learning, there are loads of options.

Having been in the world of work for the best part of a decade, and in a company that hires lots of apprentices (degree and non-degree) a 'proper 3 year degree' actually offers little advantage. In fact, dare I say that some of our apprentices have more critical thinking skills and common sense .... :)

I'm also not sure why you refer to London ....

@jannier And presumably doesn’t live in London?

I don’t understand why posters are referring to debt. It’s a grad tax. Many never pay it back. It’s not a bank loan.

If he's happy working at the garden centre can he carry on with this? He may feel he's found something he likes and perhaps in time do a horticulture qualification? There's no hurry with these things.

My son got all his grades so could have gone to his 1st choice. Over the summer he decided the debt and years without money were not for him so he found himself an apprenticeship, he has never looked back was earning £20k when he finished and soon progressed to £50k he now has brought his own car has 3 children and is happy.

Our son took not one year but three to decide what he wanted to do at university.

After a grumpy demoralised month or two at home while I despairingly thought he would never get into gear, he worked full time for those three years, saved to travel, decided on a degree he would never previously have considered, and has just graduated (at the top of his year, at that). He didn't feel out of place with a later start, as it's pretty common.

Maturity can really help.

As others have said, stop phrasing it as a year out.

Ask him, if he doesn't go to uni in September, what he plans to do instead. Don't even mention uni courses for the future. Would he continue with his current job? Look for a different one? Look for an apprenticeship etc?

If he is enthused about any of those ideas, I'd support him to do that- and then in the future if he decides he wants to go to uni, he can reapply at any time. It may be that goes in a year's time, or two years time, or later on as a mature student- that option will always be available to him, if he chooses to do so.

If he's still angry at the idea of discussing alternatives to uni, then I'd say he does want to go, but this is his way of expressing anxiety about leaving home etc- so talk to him about these anxieties and reassure him they are normal!

@Laburnam As I said earlier, getting some relevant experience would be a great thing to do in a year. It would support another application or even lead to an apprenticeship. He might decide it’s not for him but at least from a better informed viewpoint. Social work degrees are often in clearing so not very competitive so I wouldn’t worry too much about academics.

This OP. If he doesn't go to uni then he'll be doing something else. That's all it is. No need for a 'year out'.

University in 2023 is a massive financial commitment and you only get one shot at student loan funding for a first degree (well unless you career change into specific professions). Better to wait and go with purpose, than to spaff it up the wall.

Our working lives are also much longer these days... 40+ years. There's no need to rush.

@zurala It depends if the career is now via a degree gateway. Many jobs are. Apprenticeships are not. However looking around is a good idea if DC isn’t sure. I did well without a degree but you could easily do so when I was younger. It’s changed now.

He doesn't need to go to uni at all, he could get a job, do a course somewhere else, he might then get a degree later in life, or he might not. A degree is not the be all and end all.
Let him get his results, explore all his different options, and make the decision that works for him.
I don't have a degree and have managed to have two successful careers in both of which I've been highly regarded.
I'm not saying you are, but be careful of trying to live out your ambitions through him.