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Further education

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Original poster

Confused over A level choices

234 replies

ihearttc · 07/07/2021 20:25

DS1 has just finished Y11. He is a fairly bright boy and is predicted 6s, 7s and 8s for GCSE. He has picked his a level choices…PE, Geography and Biology. These are some of his best subjects and is predicted 8 in both PE/Biology and a 7 in Geography.

He had his induction day at 6th form this week and PE/Geography are ok, the Biology didn’t go well. He thinks the teacher is great (he taught him before) but the others in the class are just not on his wavelength. I’m aware that sounds really shallow and pathetic but 2 of the boys especially are very hard work and he said he was only in there for an hour and wanted to walk out. There are 10 of them and he said there is literally no one he could talk to. He is rather cool and sporty…they are the complete opposite so I can see why he found it tricky.

Anyway…my question is does he suck it up and just accept the fact that he is going to hate a lesson just to do the subject or walk away and chose something else. He wants to do something sport related…either sports science or become a Secondary PE teacher if that’s relevant.

The other option is his other choices are limited due to timetabling. It would have to either be the biology, Media Studies (which he did for GCSE), a BTEC medical science (which seems not at his academic level) or Maths. The obvious one is maths but he is freaking out over hard it will be and he doesn’t want to fail.

Any thoughts if that makes sense at all?

OP posts:
Original poster
ihearttc · 09/07/2021 07:45

@HasaDigaEebowai

I know every parent is positive about their own child but I promise you he is honestly not disruptive. He is just the polar opposite to the other 9 kids in there. They are not being mean to him per se, they are all in a social group which DS will never fit into and were talking/laughing together whilst DS felt excluded. Which I agree is the opposite right to how things usually are in schools which was my exact point about things working both ways.
And yes I totally appreciate it’s all about the work but he said it felt difficult to concentrate on the work when he felt uncomfortable.

OP posts:
Original poster
ihearttc · 09/07/2021 07:38

@Dozer

Appreciate your comments. It wasn’t you I was referring to with regard to twisting my words. Other posters seem to be under the impression that my DS is being unkind towards them and it couldn’t be further from the truth.

It might seem far fetched but I am genuinely worried if he will cope in there hence why I posted. He is massively self conscious and self doubtful of his abilities. His outward persona bears no resemblance to the worried kid underneath. Covid has been tough on him (and all kids) and I don’t want him to start something and then regret it 6 months later cause then it will be too late

OP posts:
stormsurfer · 09/07/2021 07:11

Biology is the best match with PE and Geography. It will be the most useful for his future career options. He likes the subject, likes the teacher. Those to me are the main factors.

The lessons should be about Biology, not about anything social. And therefore he will actually get more out of them without social distractions. If you were saying he hated the class because the other students were badly behaved and disruptive that would be a different matter.

iamalighthouse · 09/07/2021 07:07

I think he should stick with biology. but is it possible to start and if he really hated it switch within the first weeks?

HasaDigaEebowai · 09/07/2021 06:56

At this point, in the main, the kids are all there because they want to be there, and so he will not be seen as "the jock" in the more adult format of A levels.

I think that’s slightly optimistic to be honest since a good proportion will be there because they have to be and if someone has already earned the reputation of being a knob who messes about then they have to then show that’s no longer the case. However OP, as long as your son isn’t one of those “cool” kids who spoils it for the others by messing about, and as long as he makes an effort to be friendly, I’m sure it will be fine and they’ll end up all getting along. Most of the geeky uncool kids are desperate to be liked and included.

I can’t help but wonder however about this strange school where the geeky kids pick on the cool sporty ones. It’s generally absolutely the opposite which may be why he received a slightly cool reception? I accept my perception may be slightly skewed however by having had the past five years of my confident, good looking, previously popular but geeky and studious son being turned into a quiet, isolated, keep your head down and try not to get noticed type as a result of the “cool sporty jocks”.

Every parent thinks their child is lovely though. It works both ways.

At the end of the day he has two choices- stick with biology and make an effort to be friendly (might end up being the best thing he ever did), or compromise his future by changing course (and possibly still end up with people he doesn’t like)

Dozer · 09/07/2021 06:40

No one has ‘twisted’ your words. From the info you’ve provided biology is clearly a strong option, at his current school, and DS wants to do it.

Feeling ‘uncomfortable’ and worried about what others might say or think about him are weak reasons to take alternative subjects that will either be less attractive to universities for his chosen subject (BTEC) or harder for him to get a good grade in (maths).

In one post you suggested he ‘couldn’t cope’ with the people, which seems v unlikely.

jazzandh · 08/07/2021 22:50

I completely understand what you are saying about your son, and having a Y11 DS sympathise!

I think he needs to keep his eye on the prize of University - he has good ambitions.

I am sure that the dynamics will change once 6th form starts, and the others see he is interested in the same subject. If he speaks to his teacher (whom you have said he likes) about his concerns, they may well help him to gel with the rest of the class.

At this point, in the main, the kids are all there because they want to be there, and so he will not be seen as "the jock" in the more adult format of A levels.

I would just keep nudging him and building his confidence in himself.

Original poster
ihearttc · 08/07/2021 22:19

I was simply trying to demonstrate how different they are and couldn’t think how else to do it. And the point about Jack Grealish I was making if you read what I said was that he often appears a bit dim…as does my DS until you get to know him. I never said anyone was uncool or nerdy, they are far from nerdy. They are extremely intelligent and aiming for Oxford/Cambridge etc…my DS is clearly not. They are about as far removed from insecure as you could possibly get. The post was never ever about my DS making people feel shit although everyone seems to have taken it that way…I wasn’t asking how I could make my DS who has done nothing wrong be more tolerant of others as strangely enough he doesn’t need any help in that respect. He was a typical ugly duckling who turned into a swan after puberty…he spent the first 13 years of his life hating himself so he would never make people feel like that which is probably why he is feeling so rubbish about all of this as he can’t work out why he feels so bloody uncomfortable in there when he has just as much right to be there as the others. I appreciate that’s his issue and not theirs.

I didn’t mention it in my OP cause I didn’t feel it was relevant. I was trying to work out whether it’s worth him continuing with a subject he feels out of place in…nothing more.

OP posts:
thecognoscenti · 08/07/2021 22:00

OP you were the one who said he's cool and sporty and they aren't (so presumably are uncool and unsporty). You were the one who compared him to good looking successful millionaire Jack Grealish and them to awkward nerd Sheldon Cooper. You didn't say anything about him thinking he's not good enough until people said maybe he needed to be a bit more tolerant. Perhaps if you had the responses might have been different. I'd bet my house they feel just as insecure, without the veneer of social success to help them through life.

Original poster
ihearttc · 08/07/2021 21:20

@clary

No it wasn’t you honestly. It is a relatively small 6th form, the school itself is fairly big but most kids seem to do college or apprenticeships hence the low numbers.

I completely agree that Biology is the best option in the long run, I just need to work out a way to get a stubborn 16 year old to see that!!

I hope your Y13 is holding up ok and that they get the results they were hoping for.

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clary · 08/07/2021 21:11

Hi @ihearttc I hope I didn't upset you with my comments and I also hope you read this.

I've been thinking about this and here's my thought:
I agree with others, PE and media are not perhaps the best, especially if he is academic
Biology will really link with PE - ds2 said he was doing biology and biology A levels
Biology will really help as others say, with sports science at lots of unis

I think he needs to think seriously about sticking with biology. I hear you about not getting on with the others in the class, I do. But if there are only 10 people doing biology, it's a pretty small sixth form (there were two groups of 15 doing biology in Ds2's year), so he needs to find ways of getting on with the small sixth form cohort anyway.

It might be different by September. Maybe let him see what he feels after the exam results?

And I don't have a year 11, but I do have a year 13 and I know a bit what a tough year they have had. Best of luck to him.

TeenMinusTests · 08/07/2021 18:58

I'd definitely get him to talk to his teacher re his concerns, if nothing else so they are aware and can keep an eye on general dynamics.

It's a bit rubbish that he doesn't have a different school as an option though.

Original poster
ihearttc · 08/07/2021 18:56

@TeenMinusTests

That’s exactly what my point was, whether it’s worth it to just suck it up. Yes it probably is but I’m just not sure he could cope with it at the moment. He may feel differently after he gets his results. And I’m sorry your children had to go through that.

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TeenMinusTests · 08/07/2021 18:51

I am going to come right out and say yes he should 'suck it up' in order to do his preferred choice of A level.

Many, many children have to 'suck it up' every day for 5 years at secondary being in class after class with others they don't click with, or who go out of their way to make snide little put downs.

My DD1 had it for 5 years and also to an extent 2 more years in college. But she came out of it all with the qualifications she was aiming for.
My DD2 had it for 3 years and 2 terms until the pandemic hit. In y10 in particular she had no friends in any lessons except for 1 subject.

OP, your DS will have only 4 or 5 hours per week of Biology lessons. That's not much in the scheme of things if it helps him reach his goal.

Original poster
ihearttc · 08/07/2021 18:32

@Bryonyshcmyony

I said my son was “cool” at the start of the post to try and badly explain just how different he is to the other kids in the class…not that he said they were uncool. It’s just everyone seems to think he considers himself better than them and it couldn’t be further from the truth. He is a kind, considerate sporty kid who feels completely out of his depth in a class full of very very intelligent students who all socialise together outside school.

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Original poster
ihearttc · 08/07/2021 18:29

I’m leaving this thread now. Apologies if I worded by original question so it offended people. I’m sure if you cast your minds back to when you were at school there were different social groups. I also wouldn’t have wanted to do an A level subject with people I felt uncomfortable with no matter how much I wanted to do it but maybe I care more about my child’s mental health than an A level grade.

A huge thank you to everyone who has offered me constructive advice regarding the different subjects.

OP posts:
Bryonyshcmyony · 08/07/2021 18:25

[quote ihearttc]@thecognoscenti

Seriously?? That’s not what I’ve said at all and exactly my point about trying to twist my words. It’s nothing about being cool or uncool or anything in bloody between. It’s about a 16 year old who is absolutely bricking it about being in a class with 9 other people who he has nothing in common with and who he believes thinks he shouldn’t be there.

Do you have a current Y11? If so you’ll understand what an awful 2 years they have had and maybe get why he doesn’t want the next 2 years to go the same way.[/quote]
god I'm sorry OP I quoted that post thinking you had said it for some reason. Ignore me. I do sympathise with him and you.

Original poster
ihearttc · 08/07/2021 18:24

@thecognoscenti

Seriously?? That’s not what I’ve said at all and exactly my point about trying to twist my words. It’s nothing about being cool or uncool or anything in bloody between. It’s about a 16 year old who is absolutely bricking it about being in a class with 9 other people who he has nothing in common with and who he believes thinks he shouldn’t be there.

Do you have a current Y11? If so you’ll understand what an awful 2 years they have had and maybe get why he doesn’t want the next 2 years to go the same way.

OP posts:
Bryonyshcmyony · 08/07/2021 18:16

[quote thecognoscenti]@Bryonyshcmyony he does want to take it, he just doesn't think the other kids in the class are cool enough to share a room with him. [/quote]
;-D

Bryonyshcmyony · 08/07/2021 18:16

both Media and PE are perfectly fine stand alone subjects. I agree doing them together might not be so good

Original poster
ihearttc · 08/07/2021 17:40

@Basil2021

Thank you, much appreciated. That was the reason he didn’t go for Media Studies and PE in the first instance as they are both seen as easy subjects.

He is a grade 8 maths student and maybe in a usual year would have found it easier but Maths teaching over lockdown was dire and he really had to work hard for it. He’s definitely not keen on maths a level. I think he needs to speak to school and reassess the biology.

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GrandmasCat · 08/07/2021 17:31

Erm… I didn’t want to say it loud but that is very true. PE & Media together might make a weak combination at the time of applying to uni.

Basil2021 · 08/07/2021 17:15

If you want my honest opinion as a teacher (and former university advisor) do NOT do PE and Media Studies A-level. They are both seen as rather soft A-level subjects (apologies if that offends anyone) and having both of them in your UCAS application will really limit his chances of a good uni.
Definitely don't do a BTEC with those GCSE grades.
Definitely don't do Maths A-level unless he's very very good at GCSE (8/9 grade no problem kind of thing). Lots of students struggle with Maths A-level, they need to find GCSE easy.

So my advice? He needs to suck it up and do Biology, and maybe he won't be with the coolest crowd but that won't matter at all in a couple of year's time. I'm sure he'll get to know them with time and end up getting along ok with them.

GrandmasCat · 08/07/2021 17:08

I don’t know… my son really disliked 2 kids in GCSEs who ended up in his science a level classes.

We are going to the wedding of the mum of one of them next week, the other one ended up spending so much around before lock down we see him know as part of the family 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
ihearttc · 08/07/2021 16:52

@titchy

Thank you. It’s not him that’s called them that, it was me trying to explain how different they are to him (very badly worded!). It’s not him being mean etc to them, it’s the other way around although I think much of it is probably in his head.
He believes they are better and more able than him and they don’t want him in their class. Having known 2/3 of them throughout primary school there is a possibility that’s the case but I doubt it’s the same for all of them.
Maybe I should have used the analogy of a typical “jock” and “honor class” students in the USA rather than how I worded it. It’s basically a class of all Grade 9 science/maths students and my DS who although is good at science would prefer to play Xbox and watch footy.

I think that’s half the problem, he is worrying about every little thing at the moment and is utterly terrified of making the “wrong” decision cause in his head it will mean he won’t get to Uni. Honestly Covid has caused so much stress for these kids.

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