Confused over A level choices

We are getting it. We are just saying that some of our kids have experienced this for up to 8 years and have to suck it up in order to get any education at all so it's difficult to feel much sympathy.

Talk to the teacher

Not getting mixed up no. Many of the 'popular' aspiring millionaire footballer types are disruptive, yes. Many popular able children are not disruptive. They can, however, not really understand how difficult it is for the less popular kids in class. Some of them do, some of them don't.

The point I am making is that A Level lessons can be the first time that the Sheldon 'types' get their opportunity to feel comfortable in class.

I seem to have upset you - my apologies if you have a very able, popular, hard working child who is well aware of others who find lessons more of a struggle because they are not 'popular'. My comments were really just trying to focus attention on how beneficial A Level lessons are to the more socially awkward students.

PEOPLE

The OP has clarified, the divide is more similar to Braniacs v Troy in high school musical. The DS feels he won't fit in with the tight group of highly academic kids.

Popular kids will be in the lessons. Maybe you are getting popular mixed up with disruptive?

This is a great opportunity for your ds to learn to be more open minded, OP. Judging his classmates on the basis of what he has seen on the induction day is quite shallow tbh. Maybe the other kids are different from him in some ways, but that doesn't mean that they wouldn't get on if he gave them a chance.

If he is worried about them all being cleverer than him, again, he hasn't had enough time to judge that. Maybe his confidence needs some work so that he is not so insecure?

In lessons. I said in lessons. Many of the aspiring millionaire footballer types will not be in the same lessons.

Of course many popular, clever kids are perfectly lovely to the quieter very able kids - but sadly a lot of them are not. A Level sciences are very demanding and only the brightest will be in the classes. the 'Sheldon' types will thrive.

You said they wouldn't be there! Of course they will still be there.

Bryonyshcmyony where did I say the popular kids stop being popular? I was talking about their time in lessons. In A Level lessons those quiet, bright, hardworking kids finally get 'their' time - often denied to them in lower school by more confident 'popular' cliques dominating the lessons.

I am well aware that popular kids can also be bright and hardworking. The OP mentioned that the others in the group were 'Sheldon' types and that her son was more of a poular millionaire footballer type. A Level classes can be the time when those Sheldon types are in their comfort zone for the first time in school.

Quite often the really popular kids are also academic and hard working IME anyway.

The thing is, even uncool kids have a social group. The cool “like a famous international footballer” kids might not get it but other people have friends and interests and in-jokes and a culture of their own. They don’t think their culture is inferior. The idea that there is a cool/popular crowd in school and everyone who isn’t in it is desperate to join is a trope of pre-teen American film. These uncool boys have a right to be in their own social circle without immediately declaring “a cool boy is here! Let’s centre him in our 2 hour induction while we make our own A-level choices!”
How would your ds have reacted if one of the uncool boys turned up in the PE induction, without his friends to sit and chat with? Would he have singled the boy out for special attention to make him feel welcome, or would he have acted like 99% of 16 yo boys in a class where they are supposed to be focussing on their own futures, and got on with the lesson and talked to their actual friends during downtime and discussions? Would he have even noticed that sheldon was being a bit quiet? Would he be thinking “sheldon shouldn’t take this subject because I don’t think he should”? Is it possible that ds has an exaggerated idea of how much thought these other boys are putting into ds’s A-level choice? Most people, are just living their lives. I don’t imagine a single one of them cares if he does biology or not, and if they are aiming for A*s and oxbridge they will soon run out of time to care. As for being able to manage in a class without having your particular friends with you for 2 years - yes, of course it’s worth it and how lucky he is to get through his entire childhood without being put through discomfort until now.

There are plenty of popular kids who stay really popular throughout the 6th form. It isn't really a thing that they stop being popular due to A levels.

I'm not saying this is the case here, but this thread has made me think about A Level classes.

I think for the academic kids who kept their heads down throughout school and had to tolerate the popular, confident kids dominate their lessons, often surrounded by their own popular clique, sixth form can be a breath of fresh air and the making of them.

In many classes, for the first time, they will be with other bright, hardwoking, serious minded students who chose to be there. The popular, cliquey crew will, for the first time, be n the minority - or not there at all. It would do the popular crew no harm to experience what it was like for those other kids for years - feeling unheard and drowned out, often made to feel uncomfortable.

I am not saying the OPs ds is like this. It's impossible to judge without being there. But this is just a reminder that for the 'Sheldon' types those A Level classes are finally a place where they feel welcome.

Comefromaway

That’s rubbish. Kids can be really horrible. My kids have always had a good set of friends at school, fortunately, but I know how bloody heartbreaking it is to see your kids upset so can only imagine how you feel as a parent if you child is bullied. Schools really need to deal with this. There’s usually only 1 or 2 kids that do it, but so many laugh along. I hope things get better.

[quote ihearttc]@HasaDigaEebowai

I know every parent is positive about their own child but I promise you he is honestly not disruptive. He is just the polar opposite to the other 9 kids in there. They are not being mean to him per se, they are all in a social group which DS will never fit into and were talking/laughing together whilst DS felt excluded. Which I agree is the opposite right to how things usually are in schools which was my exact point about things working both ways.
And yes I totally appreciate it’s all about the work but he said it felt difficult to concentrate on the work when he felt uncomfortable.[/quote]
Well you know, some of us have kids who have spent 7 years in classes where everyone else is is a different social group ours will never fit into and they do just have to suck it up in order to study the subject they need to.

And unlike this group our kids have often been actively bullied and had classes disrupted rather than just felt "uncomfortable" at a group of kids doing nothing wrong.

Op in the kindest way I think you are being a bit silly. Sounds like Biology is the best subject for DS to take and when he gets his GCSE result he will be as qualified to study it as anyone else in the class. Classes are not social opportunities. It's a time to get your head down, work hard and concentrate. His social opportunities will come out of class times, where he can seek like minded friends. Learning to get on with others even when you have nothing in common is something we all have to learn. And if he is a PE teacher empathy with the nerdy, unsporty students will help him enormously!

Did you know they updated the 'stick to the status quo' song so now there is an equal group singing ' don't stick to the status quo' ?

A really bad example but imagine most of the class is like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory and DS is like Jack Grealish.

Whilst Grealish may be a talented footballer, his off the pitch behaviour isn’t something I’d be proud comparing my child to. I wouldn’t say he’s cool, just a bit immature. You haven’t come across well here but I think you realise that.
My son does Biology A level, it’s a very academic subject, not much time for chat if you want top grades so I wouldn’t worry about the other kids not being like him. What I would be concerned about is that he’s considering being a teacher but feels he can only get on with certain kids. 🤷🏻‍♀️ He’s not at primary anymore, this is further and then higher education. You will mix and partner with people who aren’t your cup of tea but it’s a skill needed in the world of work. I’d say he’s got quite a lot of maturing to do. He should be able to get on with kids that are different to him enough to do a few lessons each week together.

Id be willing to bet they actually jump at the chance to be friendly and finally have the chance to be included in stuff. I know my DS1 is desperately hoping things are better in sixth form with some of the worst behaved no longer there and everyone slightly more mature and, in theory, studying subjects they like and want to do well in.

I think he should stick with Biology. Maths is a really bad idea unless you’re really good at it and the jump from GCSE is huge. They’ll all change a lot in the next couple of years and he may surprise himself with new friendships. I’m a secondary school teacher so see this a lot.

I guess the call is whether realistically they are going to be outwardly hostile to him, or whether they just feel he doesn't 'fit' but will tolerate him.

Picking through what you have said they sound like a highly academic bunch who maybe look down a bit on the perceived less academic and the sporty ones (a bit like the braniacs in High School Musical). If that is the case then he may well find they are more accepting once he starts. No one choose Biology A level unless they are serious about it, you wouldn't do it as a doss subject.

I think talking to his teacher would really help. He has as much right to do his subject choices as they do, it would be a crying shame if he didn't do biology because he was worried about fitting in.