Class of 18. No need for new school shoes

Dropped DS off yesterday; all went well.

He is living on his own in a private hall. The other residents are mostly overseas students from the same country, or students from the other university in that city. He has his own kitchen and there are no common areas, so there isn't any opportunity to mingle. He tried propping his door open, but is at the end of the corridor, so no one walks past.

He is going to try to make more effort to make friends on his course and to join a society, neither of which he did last year.

Gin - great that your dd has settled.
Ds leaves tomorrow, but term doesn't start until next week. Hopefully he will think about packing some time today. He doesn't have all the timetable details yet (lectures, but no seminar info) but so far has Wednesdays off and a full day on Tuesday - 11 until 7 or something.

DS is most put out that his teaching hours/lectures have increased this year. Me - I'm delighted to know he will get some value out of his tution fees.... 🤣

Just skimming past the tears posts.

They are a bit OTT. I was thinking about it today and think that the reason I don't cry at stuff like DD starting school or going to university is because she has given me much more serious stuff to get upset about. We nearly lost her when she was a few weeks old. She ended up having life saving surgery and spending a few days in ICU. Then when she was 11 she was referred to the oncology team at Birmingham Children's hospital because they thought she had bone cancer.

It kind of puts things into perspective, so starting school and going to university is small stuff in comparison.

Gin I remember saying I thought the boyfriend would resurface... still at least she knows she is the one who has left him now..she has to stay strong for another month. Perhaps they will be together in the end, but a separation won't do any harm to test their true feelings.
Ursula dogs are so clued up. Mine hates ear cleaner bottle and can tell when it comes down from the shelf just by the shape of it. I think I will have to start disguising it in a shoe (He likes it when I put my shoes on and likes chewing them when I take them off ) Hope Alfie starts to associate car with lovely outings soon, but how sad he has lost the home he must have been so familiar with - your home must be a haven for him after an ordeal.

Thanks for taking the time Hardwickwhite that is helpful.

Aww,, Ursula. He's lovely.

DD has been back a couple of weeks and will start lectures again tomorrow. I can't remember how many hours, somewhere between 9 and 12, but she managed to arrange her seminars so she is finished by 2.00 everyday and has Fridays off! Loving her flat, which is much nearer uni than halls where.

My older DS will go back this week, although lectures dont start for two weeks.

Gin glad your DD is away and settled.

Dd came home to meet Alfie. Quick Tesco shop then she set off back to University. Unfortunately in the process of picking her keys up from the washing machine she ripped a nail. She had acrylics put on several weeks ago. The acrylic is still on but the nail underneath is half torn off. Cue much blood and wailing. Applied a plaster and sent her on her way. She lives with two student nurses so was hopeful they could sort it but she has text to say it may be a trip to A&E. I’ve asked her to video if she does go 🙄

Ah now I might cry at the Alfie story!

DD1 has gone off happily to uni on the train. We moved her into her flat in July so she is all set. I am happy that she is excited and looking forward to getting back into studying.

I am still in the Facebook group as sometimes there is useful information. Just skimming past the tears posts.

Looking for squirrels

He’s a Springer. He was only neutered in July at the age of 10 . He’s built like a brick s**thouse.

Do you know what breed/cross Alfie is Ursula? I feel a teeny bit over invested in him...

I can't speak for many universities Loveislike and definitely not Warwick but a close friend who is a professor (not there) told me that even when she worked at the ones with a so called college system it didn't make any difference to the level of pastoral care. It really is on a uni by uni basis and gut feel (because they won't admit how it really is). Eg I always thought that having academic staff doing tutorials was the ideal, but she told me (and DD agrees from her limited experience) that sometimes a PhD student can be a better tutor. Similarly with pastoral care, DD needed a bit of support at the start, and her uni (city based, and spread across a few areas of a large city) were absolutely amazing. Her personal tutor is (she feels) also similarly amazing, despite finding the time to just get promoted to professor herself.

Might looking out for departments with TEF Gold be useful?

Name changed but just wondering if anyone can help please having children experienced with different universities. DD is thinking of something comp sci/maths like but she feels it would be important to have lecturers who are supportive and not just research focussed, though somewhere with good academic reputation (predicted AAA). Has heard that Warwick lecturers may be more focussed on research than their students, so wondered if places with a 'college' system like York, Lancaster or even Durham might have that more pastoral/warm feel. Anyone with any ideas or suggestions to help please? Thanks

I hope you and Alfie bond well Ursula
Woof

UrsulaPandress
Hope Alfie settles soon and starts to gain confidence.

It may have been me and the grips.

Alfie is in residence. Collected him yesterday afternoon. Aged 10. Previous elderly owners both died and his adopter returned him after 2 weeks as he was too strong and doesn’t like other dogs. He’s nervous and overweight and avoids going near my car as he probably thinks he’ll be shipped off somewhere else.

Dd is coming home today to see him!

I have plans to reorganise the kitchen and redecorate some of the rooms in our house. I shall be too busy to be sad.

Just heard form DD and she said she had a nice evening and everyone in her flat is lovely. Sigh of relief. I'm sure that bringing some home baking, half the contents of a cocktail cabinet and Cards Against Humanity helped

The sadness took me by surprise, because I hadn't felt emotional on any of the first/last day of school milestones. I think what I found hard was getting used to him not being there, rather than poignancy about him having grown up.

I can understand feeling a bit bereft when your offspring leaves for university. When DS left last September I was happy for him but really missed him to start with. But wallowing isn't going to help them or you. Quick cry if you need one, positive pants on, chin up and keep yourself busy.

The FB group is totally off the scale. They are moaning about MN not being supportive.

Ooh. Where does it say that? The posts on this year's thread are full of crying parents. I must admit that I did not feel teary at all, just emotionally drained. DD's stress levels were off the scale yesterday and every little thing just made her burst into tears.

And which one of you told a 'poor woman' to get a grip...?

I felt like saying it, but didn't

t was one of my better moves, bailing from the group of woe and wailing. There are only so many times a day I can internalise "FFS, get a life"

TBH I am staggered at the amount of crying parents on the Facebook group. Are their lives so empty of anything other than being over invested in their children's lives? DD and I are close and we have done a lot of things together, and I will miss her, but I really don't "get" the sobbing for weeks through the summer that some mothers have been through. They must think that I am "well 'ard"

Anyway, apart from DD being stressed, her flat is lovely. Her room is more like a small hotel room. She has a lovely view of the park and gets the evening sunshine. She is a few minutes walk from the medical school and about 10 minutes from the centre of town. The traffic was awful yesterday, but we expected that and allowed extra time for the journey.

First impressions of her flatmates are positive, and she had a couple knock on her door to say hello.

Oh, and the ex has apparently decided that he has made a big mistake in ending the relationship. I think DD is being sensible and has decided that she wants to move on.

It was one of my better moves, bailing from the group of woe and wailing.There are only so many times a day I can internalise "FFS, get a life" and I need a few in reserve to cope with the inlaws.

I'm hopeful that this year DS's flat will suit him better, with two phd stidents, one doing a masters and DS - I can't see it being much of a shrieking party flat.

Hope you pass the suitability test Ursula, I would love another dog but with two toppling grannies and the odd six hour hospital visit it wouldn't be fair on the dog or me.

Mumsnet judgey?
Surely not!