DS probably dropping out of uni. DH horrified.

I find it hard to believe that students can fulfil Imperial's English language proficiency requirements yet not be able to participate in a seminar.

Of course he should move if his mental health is at risk and moving really is the best solution, but chucking it in after three or four weeks of term does seem hasty - is he even in his new accommodation yet? As I asked before, is he sure his girlfriend wants the reunion on which he's pinning so many hopes? Perhaps she'd prefer a long distance relationship while she concentrates on her course.

dn and some others at RG university made formal complaint about the language skills of some of the students on Law course. This wasn't just "snitching", it was because dn said she was required to do a project of some sort with two students and it became very apparent that not only did they not speak English (anyone can be very shy or unconfident when speaking) they couldn't write at all either.

I suppose universities can't get rid of high-paying students because it is a) bad publicity that they admitted them in the first place and b)would discourage others from applying there and the last thing they want is to cut off an oil well in full flow.

Is it LSE?

Can he move out of his halls and find alternative accommodation?

I would also join as many clubs etc as I can. Will help make other friends.

Broken
“OP claimed that two thirds of the students at her DC's Russell Group university are from overseas. I do not believe this to be true. Even at the most diverse institutions, the numbers are much smaller.“

That is absolute rubbish.

Whatwouldrondo - if a Chinese parent posted on mumsnet saying their dc was the only Asian among 5 British students on his corridor and he was feeling excluded because they didn't speak to him, would you accuse that parent of racism?

What I don’t accept is that Chinese born and raised students of the Caibre that imperial requires don’t speak English to the extent that they depend on English students to do their work for them. It may be true of certain universities that are struggling for numbers.

It is not true of UK universities as a whole, because licenses for tier 4 visas require rigorous language tests. As a pp wrote, it is not sufficient for universities to sign off students coming; visa conditions require independent language tests.

Perhaps the uni that I worked at is different, although Russel group, but I can tell you this - the chinese students could not speak English to save their lives.

When the OP writes comments like this, it is very hard to believe the details in the rest of the posts. It is simply not the case that Chinese students cannot communicate in English at Russell group universities.

Hi OP. I’m pretty certain I know which university you’re talking about. I went to a different university (Cambridge) ten years ago, had a great education and opportunities (fabulous balls, internship opportunities etc) but was thoroughly MISERABLE from a social point of view and constantly wondered if I should quit and go to a good but more ‘normal’ university like my school friends (Leeds, Sheffield, York, Bristol, Birmingham etc). I’m from London, comprehensive school background, always found it very easy to make friends and ‘normal’ (or so I think, anyway!) My peers were pretty much all public school/top private school educated, wealthy, arrogant, narrow minded and cliquey. People can be surprisingly ‘tribal’ at university and when yours seems to be the only face that doesn’t fit it is miserable. I’m very open minded and I knew many of my fellow students would be rich but (perhaps naively) thought we would have enough in common to be friends! I eventually managed to make friends with a group of them but haven’t seen ANY of them since graduating (with the exception of one nice, ‘normal’ Northener and my Northern boyfriend), despite working in the same City and career as many of them! Facebook informs me that they continue to go on holiday together (e.g at villas in Lake Como, Marbella etc owned by their parents) and socialise at the most expensive bars etc. I think this is because (they felt) we simply didnt have much in common and they never grew outside their ‘public school’ mindset.

It’s a huge shame that I wasn’t able to make strong friendships at uni. I am still close to school friends and have friendships with some colleagues, however, university friends are often the friendships that carry people through the difficult transition from graduating to finding your feet as an adult - people who can go through all the life changes, challenges and milestones: birthdays, travelling, new jobs, breakups, change of career direction, engagements, weddings and babies. Most of my friends have met their significant others at uni or through uni friends.

Those 3/4 years at uni are vital for setting out the groundwork for your DS’s twenties and beyond. Being a young adult today is already difficult enough and requires resilience and strong mental health. Yes he should get a good education, but he should also be HAPPY and make good friends, interesting social networks and wonderful memories that will carry him through his adult life.

Several of my colleagues (corporate law) attended the excellent unis mentioned above. So he may well not be ‘giving up’ very much at all.

OP If there is a university admitting students who have not passed the standard language tests which are designed to ensure the students' English is of the required standard to be able to participate fully in an undergraduate degree course as determined by careful consultation and standard setting (now endorsed by the courts too) then I suggest that never mind tipping off a journalist, you inform the Home Office. They will have also failed in their own processes which require the approved test to have been passed for a student visa to be allowed (which given the Home Offices current obsession with excluding people from the country however economically self harming and inhumane is about as likely as the Pope turning up in your bathroom).

OP, they all sound awful, all of them, British, foreign, the lot. As you say, give him till Christmas and then let him do what ourkidmollys cousin did, and move him north.

He needs to make his own decisions - your OH needs to stand back and let him live his own life.

If he is unhappy where he is then he is sensible to make a move. The added bonus of the support of his GF will probably get him through and there is a great social life in the northern cities. He is in the wrong place at the wrong time and he can see that.

Ah! Cross post! Sorry!

This sounds very much like Imperial and you're not wrong re jobs and it's makeup of students.
However, it is absolutely right that you are thinking of your DS and his wellbeing. Good luck coming to a resolution with your DH.

Ah, so it is Imperial. Not one of ds's friends applied there because the London university experience is so poor now (e.g. accommodation being in an outer zone) plus the lack of home students or even European ones. Ds's friend went to an open day there and he said every single name on the hall of residence doors was Asian. Everyone's happy to mix it up, but not to be the lone soul speaking English.

As to plaguerism then that is an issue whether the students are from overseas or not

Saif Gaddafi got away with it for quite a long time at LSE but maybe that's because his father was donating large sums of money to the university.

My DD is in the first term of her degree at a London University (it’s a medical degree). She’s a minority being white British, knew this was going to be the case when we went to the open day, and the majority on her course are Asian and Muslim. She is absolutely loving it because nobody drinks, the students are fiercely competitive and it’s all about the studying. Horses for courses.

I live in China. I totally accept that Chinese born and raised students may prefer to speak Mandarin socially. What I don’t accept is that Chinese born and raised students of the Caibre that imperial requires don’t speak English to the extent that they depend on English students to do their work for them. It may be true of certain universities that are struggling for numbers.

a school friend of mine has one british born Asian parent. Her university picked up on that, and she was allocated halls with the overseas students. After a year of being in halls with all the overseas non-fluent english speakers from S E Asia, she canned it and switched to a different university which didn't racially profile her based on her grandparents' nationality, & where she was much happier.

some people on here think they're on the It's A Small World ride. The university experience is sold as a social as well as an academic one and it is terribly disappointing when there isn't anyone with whom to have a drink, let alone a fun crowd all up for a riotous time.

if there are a lot of students of one particular nationality then obviously they will stick together and speak their own language. It's not the op's son's fault if this makes him miserable.

If this university is in London and begins with an I, then I think they should look at how they accommodate students. This is by no means the first time I have heard about students feeling unhappy and isolated there.

TBF Broken this is Imperial's 15/16 new admission stats. 33% of students of UK nationality

www.imperial.ac.uk/admin-services/strategic-planning/statistics/trend-analysis/student-nationality/

So BITS of what she says are plausible. 2/3 non UK is certainly happening at Imperial.

But she's over egging the pudding and being borderline offensive.

My cousin dropped out of Imperial for similar reasons a year ago. Has just started at Nottingham and is reborn. Totally the right decision.

I really think you need to calm down and take things one step at a time. talk to your son about what is really going on here.

he sounds quite geeky, and finds social situations difficult. he is pinning too much on the fact that he’s recently had a girlfriend. is this girl really that into him? She may well be at university having a whale of a time and may not have given him much thought!!

moving universities to be with her could be an absolute disaster. I really think you need to look at the accommodation, talk to tutor, get him out and about making some new friends, at uni societies etc.

It is very difficult when you first go to university, but suggesting antidepressants for yourself and him?

Maybe look at all the issues together, one step at a time and try and address them.

he may not need to move or he could move. but there’s no point me being melodramatic about it all.

Life’s too short to be miserable - your son should definitely move. However, I think you should review your first post and think about how you’ve categorised and stereotyped the groups that you’ve talked about.

There are a lot of admissions tutors - from top universities.