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Further education

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Original poster

Sixth form boarding - what have I overlooked to buy?

65 replies

ifonly4 · 25/08/2017 15:38

DD is boarding for Sixth Form. I've been through the long list provided by the school and made one of my own, but just wondering if there's anything I might have overlooked or would be useful for DD to take.

OP posts:
Original poster
ifonly4 · 23/09/2017 15:56

error, hope the weekend goes well with your DD. Good to know she seems really happy.

The only contact we've had from DD since she said she was staying, is asking if she can go to a party when she's home next weekend. She's generally isn't one for keeping in touch, so I'm hoping this is a good sign as she was contacting us every day.

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errorofjudgement · 23/09/2017 08:53

Sorry for crest read Exeat!!
Anyway DD home and hasn't stopped raving about how wonderful her school is and how happy she is to be there. Huge relief for us, and so pleased to see her increased confidence, and love of life after the GCSE year.
Crumbs - thanks for your insight, it's always good to hear positive stories when you start (or your child starts) something that is new and very different to anything we've experienced before.
Ifonly - thinking of you and your DD this weekend, the last update was so positive. I hope that's continued for her.

Crumbs1 · 22/09/2017 07:07

Ours took at least a fortnight for the new school to see a sparkle and then it was full on fun and seemingly lifelong friendships. It was a whole new language and very different expectations from a state comprehensive so no wonder it took a little adjustment. Ours was full boarding but most went home after sports on Saturday but there were closed weekends when everyone had to stay. They were exhausted by the long, completely full days.
In the end it was a really good stepping stone to university.

errorofjudgement · 22/09/2017 06:59

Finally DD has a weekend crest so we'll be heading off this afternoon to bring her home for the weekend. 😊

Original poster
ifonly4 · 21/09/2017 10:51

Yesterday was the first day we hadn't heard from her, so contacted her at 10pm as we need to confirm a place at her old school this week. She seemed much happier, thought she was staying, was loving RE, music department are going out of their way to find more options for her and apparently didn't go to the school social on Sat as she was in another house with two other girls. Pointed out she has to be sure she can handle any negatives, but fingers crossed this is the turning point.

error - I suggested changing houses, apparently it's not the done thing as it gets around and everyone thinks you've snubbed the girls in your old house.

Haven't posted on the Year 12 support thread for a while as I didn't want to keep posting negatives things, but who knows, I might be back on there!

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errorofjudgement · 20/09/2017 18:06

Is there any chance if moving to another boarding house? there might be another girl who'd love to swop.

Original poster
ifonly4 · 20/09/2017 14:44

DD said she wanted to be back by this weekend if that was the decision - we're still waiting and have no idea which way it'll go.

We think the school has a lot to offer and she should stay, subject to feeling that she is making friends and can cope with times she's with the girls who don't talk/mix.

We've had two nights of messages indicating she might come back and then yesterday one telling us she's confused.

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errorofjudgement · 19/09/2017 21:12

How funny! Will look out for the PM

homebythesea · 19/09/2017 21:00

error they were very nearly classmates then 😉. I will pm you

errorofjudgement · 19/09/2017 18:39

Homebythesea - is it bad that I'm ever so curious to know where your DD is? There aren't that many school with a PA focus.....
DD is at TP in Herts

homebythesea · 19/09/2017 08:07

It's so hard isn't it - a couple of weeks is not that long to settle in to a completely new way of life , but leave it any longer and her studies will potentially suffer if she dies indeed end up elsewhere. Hope this week brings more clarity one way or the other.

DD met with her BFF who is at the local comp this weekend and was exceptionally envious of her 2.30 home time! She is timetabled till 6pm (although most of each afternoon is devoted to activities rather than lessons) and then confined to quarters 7-9 for prep with some further rehearsals etc after that. I am now pleased we didn't organise anything for half term!!

errorofjudgement · 18/09/2017 18:26

Hi ifonly and thanks for the update.
It sounds very unsettling and I hope that come the weekend your DD is in a position to make a final decision and hopefully start to enjoy sixth form (wherever that is)
It's good to learn that her current school are being so reasonable and not pressuring you.
I have the impression that your DD has taken this opportunity for the music provision (as our DD has for Drama).
For us it was a very late offer, and I had taken comfort in knowing that DD had achieved the standard she's at without all the extras that specialist school provide, so to continue at the original school and with extra-curric activities in place, DD would've continue to improve,
Which is a long winded way of saying that the specialist school is very nice, but it's not essential.
Good luck to your DD, whatever she decides, it's been a valuable learning experience and there's a lot of positives in that.
Please let us know what she chooses.

Original poster
ifonly4 · 18/09/2017 14:35

home & error, how are both of your DDs getting on - well I hope.

The meeting at the school (mentioned on my other thread) went well. Even if the school can't offer her quite what she hoped for, we don't think it can go wrong in terms of education, support, knowledge and flexibility (ie her HM says she can drop EPQ if she's definitely working to her end goal which will be time consuming etc).

However, DD was clearly very tired. She's going to try out a couple of things over the next few days which she should enjoy and might convince her to stick at it. If not, she will come back at the end of the week as she needs to catch up with her A level work elsewhere.

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errorofjudgement · 15/09/2017 23:21

Ifonly, thanks for the update.
I'm sorry if I wasn't clear, I wasn't suggesting your DD came home each weekend, but that each half term she did one extra trip, so home every 3-4 weeks.

I hope the meeting goes well tomorrow and that you are all able to reach a decision that works best for your DD.
Please keep us updated, x

Original poster
ifonly4 · 15/09/2017 18:44

home & error, thanks for replying to my posts.

Luckily they have a pretty full on day, from 8-6pm with lessons, free periods, other organised things and then 7-9pm is study time. She's doing squash, choir and orchestra, have a feeling there was a debating society which might be worth suggesting as that's up her street.

Had a message today ignoring problems and talking academics, she's switched a subject but apparently did really well in a piece of work in subject she's dropping and has done a test on whatever they've covered so far in geography and the feedback is that it's around an A/A* at A level, so at least she's holding her own in a private school with high academic success.

It isn't really that practical to get her back home every weekend, which she knew from the start, doesn't help her at the moment though.

Anyway, there's a meeting tomorrow, DD, us, her HM and a key member of staff who will understand where she's coming from. Never thought we'd need to have a meeting about her anywhere. Positives and negatives to staying, I think we all keep swaying as to what is best, but having members of staff there might help balance things out from their experience as they say they only want to work out what's best for DD not the school.

Hope your DDs have a good weekend in school/at home.

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homebythesea · 15/09/2017 12:17

ifonly I've responded to your other thread- sorry to hear your DD is struggling. It really is early days though, and it doesn't seem ideal that there are so few girls her age in the boarding house (unhelpful!). I do think keeping busy is key, and if there is any human way to get her home and back at the weekend you should do it - public transport, other pupils living nearby who can do lifts (house staff could help put you in touch?) other friends and family etc

My DD complaining about food but enjoying the extra curricular activities. She doesn't say much about lessons ha ha. They have a big event tonight to kick off the year - a show and party. V late pick up for me, the joy.....

errorofjudgement · 13/09/2017 22:26

Well DD phoned tonight, she's a bit under the weather and I think she'd rather be at home tucked up under a quilt being spoiled - well wouldn't we all.
But I've emailed the houseparents who've come straight back to me with a lovely and reassuring reply. Hopefully a lie-in on Saturday and a lazy weekend will be enough to help her recover ready for the next week, then home for a weekend-yay!!

errorofjudgement · 13/09/2017 17:28

Ifonly - oh dear, I'm sorry it all seems a bit of a struggle at the moment. I really hope your DD is able to resolve the issues she's having, and make/join a nice group of friends.
I'm sure wiser heads than mind will say it's very early days, but that's not really helpful today!
Is there any way you could bring DD home on Saturday then a family member take her back on Sunday (at least mid way between start if term and the half term break)? Or take her back late after you finish work?

Original poster
ifonly4 · 12/09/2017 15:10

That's brilliant news over Eng Lit re-mark, that 9 is fantastic to have whatever she does in the future. DD's school were having French checked, DD was one mark off the next grade, so we'll see what comes of that.

Coming home is a sore point! When we applied to the school they were only allowed out Sundays, but DD knew she couldn't return and I work Sundays anyway. Rules have changed, so they can leave for the weekend on Saturday. DD found half the school emptied and many of the ones who stayed were foreign and went off in their own groups. One day is fine on her own for work catchup, washing clothes, going for run in grounds, but to be on her own Saturdays isn't going to be easy. Apparently the school have said they can't have so many out every weekend, but we'll see.

She's got other concerns, so I told her to speak to her HM, who is now setting up a meeting for her (her HM will be present) and another member of staff to hopefully clarify things.

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errorofjudgement · 11/09/2017 20:33

Hi Ifonly, DD not allowed strongly discouraged from coming home until the exeat in 3 weeks, sorry 2 weeks now Smile

But in other news, her Eng Lit re-mark has come back and she's gone from a level 7 to a level 9. Proud mum here tonight.

How did your DD find the weekend?

home - hope your DD returned to school ok

Original poster
ifonly4 · 11/09/2017 14:34

error & home, hope your two were okay going back yesterday. Let me know who they are getting on.

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homebythesea · 10/09/2017 10:05

Have t seen much of her to be honest- she's been out seeing "old" friends!!

errorofjudgement · 10/09/2017 09:48

That so good to hear home I hope you're enjoying a lovely weekend together

homebythesea · 10/09/2017 08:59

DD was high as a kite when I picked her up on Friday - totally excited by all things. I'm absolutely certain there will be a comedown at some point: when homework and activities ramp up and she inevitably gets overwhelmed. I'm interested to see how she is when she goes back tonight!

errorofjudgement · 10/09/2017 07:05

Well how things change in 24 hours!
They've had sixth form induction activities organised by upper sixth. Judging by the photos it's involved lots of dress up and a fair bit of dance. DD loving it all.
Today they're at an outdoor activity centre, I think this might be more tricky for DD who's not at all good with heights.
And I've no idea when she's supposed to fit in her homework! I'm hoping the teachers have been kind this week and taken all these activities into account,