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Further education

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Original poster

Sixth form boarding - what have I overlooked to buy?

65 replies

ifonly4 · 25/08/2017 15:38

DD is boarding for Sixth Form. I've been through the long list provided by the school and made one of my own, but just wondering if there's anything I might have overlooked or would be useful for DD to take.

OP posts:
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homebythesea · 10/11/2017 16:03

Thanks error it's all cool, and yes I feel I have a bit of purpose back 😀

errorofjudgement · 10/11/2017 15:01

Oh Home!! ((Hugs))
Our DDs are really putting us through it aren’t they.
Boarding is such a huge change isn’t it?
It’s great that you live within a reasonable distance so DD can continue at the school and stay with her new friends.
And how lovely to have her home each night in the run-up to Christmas. I hope she enjoys being at home again x

homebythesea · 10/11/2017 10:00

Well, all change here as DD no longer boarding! It just didn’t work for her (won’t go into details as would be potentially outing) but she is happier as a day student now

errorofjudgement · 28/10/2017 17:24

Hi !!!
So lovely to hear from you. It's so good to hear about how well your DD has settled and made some great friends. Isn't it astonishing how quickly things turn around :)

DD has been home this last week and its been wonderful. We're all a bit flat today as she goes back tomorrow. Having said that my bank account will be relieved! Previously DD was either in school uniform, dance kit or drama blacks so had a fairly limited collection of casual clothes - particularly winter clothes! Now she's in her own clothes every day, and we have had another a shopping spree to give her a few more options.
DD has enjoyed seeing her old friends, but has also been in pretty near constant contact with her new friends too. I know she's looking forward to getting back, they have a lot of activities to cram into the next 6 weeks, including a bonfire and fireworks next weekend, and an end of term Christmas ball. Vocationally they perform their first piece to an external audience, and they will get to watch the plays and dance performances from students on other vocational strands. Hopefully the academic work will keep pace too.

Looking at the school timetable, we have "parents evening" at 9am on the last day of term Halloween Confused - so that'll be a new experience!

I guess your DD will also be pretty busy in the run up to Christmas? It's a time of so much beautiful music :)

Original poster
ifonly4 · 28/10/2017 16:25

home and error, hope your DDs are okay and everything is still good at their new schools. DD has now settled in and looking forward to returning next week. She appears to be making friends and has been on a group chat with four other girls all week, two in her house and two in another boarding house, she seems to be the central connection so I'm hoping this is positive longterm.

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errorofjudgement · 09/10/2017 21:23

Thanks fir the messages. DD had a wonderful time, such a lovely family she stayed with!
DD doesn't have her own room but does have a mattress topper, and lots of bright cushions and throws on her bed.
Ifonly I was so pleased to hear your DD decided to stay, what a star!
2 weeks until half term, 11 sleeps to go (btw this is me counting down not DD!)

Original poster
ifonly4 · 09/10/2017 08:38

error, hopefully DD enjoyed last weekend with her friend.

Having decided to stay at her new school, DD has only contacted us once this week which is what we would normally expect from her, so hopefully she is feeling more settled. We contacted her on Sat, she was about to cook chicken and wedges for tea with two other girls (rather than go to canteen) and then was going shopping with a few others on Sunday, so hopefully we've reached the turning point.

gilly, our dD also asked for a mattress topper and an extra pillow. Like you say, having their room as comfortable and homely as possible is important, although, I suspect my DD will take homely to the limit and it'll be untidy!

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gillybeanz · 06/10/2017 22:08

Aw, I hope your kids are all doing well, it sounds like they are settling in.
Mine has just called me to say she was getting some help with English from a 6th former and listening to their favourite opera.
Home tomorrow as I make her touch base as often as permits.

I know it's a bit late now but my dd found a mattress topper, fluffy cushions and home comforts inc her plants Grin helped her settle easy.
I started off labelling everything but in the end made her promise to put everything in a net, she had loads of these.

homebythesea · 06/10/2017 21:56

If I were the host parent I wouldn’t at all expect a gift. However a heartfelt and unprompted thank you on departure is always a delight 😊

errorofjudgement · 06/10/2017 14:37

Just catching up, it seems like positive news all round!! Smile
I've spotted a thread in chat about boarding, interesting to hear so many responses both pro and anti.
DD has been invited a friends for a sleepover this weekend.
I'm not sure if there's any etiquette involved here, should she take a gift to thank the parents? Should we send a thank you card? (Or a large bottle of gin 😂)
Any thoughts o wise ones?

Original poster
ifonly4 · 04/10/2017 08:28

Eleda, things have changed - DD has to wash her own duvet cover (when she chooses), but the housekeeper washes their sheets and pillow cases and puts a clean set on their beds for them. Also, DD's school gets cleaned and tidied every day - it really annoys her as they keep moving her school work around. So far she's washed her own clothes, but apparently the housekeeper will do it on the odd occasion for them.

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homebythesea · 03/10/2017 23:12

I could write a book - parcels being opened by nosy house mistresses, only allowed to wash hair once a week, bath rotas (no showers!), little or no supervision at weekends (we enjoyed that!!), up to 10 in a bedroom, initiation practices i.e. Institutionalised bullying etc etc

But we loved it 😀

Good that it's very different now of course, helped by technology (no more payphones) and very different attitudes

Eledamorena · 03/10/2017 19:57

How things have changed!! I absolutely loved boarding (in the 90s) but some of the norms back then would be considered outrageous now! Smile

homebythesea · 03/10/2017 15:54

eldamorena I boarded in the 80's and we had to change our sheets every Friday night, queuing with the dirty bed linen and towel to collect a fresh set. Hospital corners were inspected!!

Eledamorena · 03/10/2017 13:25

Just popped back to see how your girls are doing... glad things seem to have settled after the initial wobble! It is very normal to take a little while for new boarders to find their niche and get used to a very full-on schedule, new environment, and totally new community, friends etc. I do hope things keep going well!

Very glad to read that the school was so supportive when you were considering pulling her out, OP, not all schools would be so understanding.

And I agree that boarding is a GREAT stepping stone for life, uni, independence etc!

On a lighthearted note - I boarded from 8 (v young, especially by today's standards, I know) and I had never realised that bedding had to be changed... my mum must have always washed and replaced it while I was at school. Changing my own bedlinen was a whole new experience and we all had to be shown how to do it in pairs as we were a bit too small to manage it individually!! Grin

homebythesea · 03/10/2017 12:23

It's the "stepping stone" aspect that I think will benefit DD most - she's a real home body and Mummy's girl and not terribly self reliant. She rang on Sunday night proud as punch that she'd managed to put her clean sheets on the bed by herself!!

Original poster
ifonly4 · 03/10/2017 11:19

We told DD whichever school she went to on Monday was the one she'd have to stay at now and she chose the new school. She returned on Sunday and we haven't heard since which I can only imagine is a good thing as she's not really the sort for keeping in touch. She feels she's starting to making friends and has found another girl who doesn't like studying much on her own, so they're sometimes going to get together, so this may help.

home, we see it as a great stepping stone to uni as they'll have had time to adapt to certain aspects before they move on.

error, hope everything is okay with your DD.

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homebythesea · 30/09/2017 17:50

The noise is something DD has mentioned - she relishes the relative quiet at home! It will be the same if they go to Uni and live in halls so maybe good to get used to it now.

errorofjudgement · 30/09/2017 15:37

Shock rollercoaster indeed!! Smile
Can't wait for the final decision!

Having raved about school all last weekend, DD has found this week back at school difficult. Mainly the constant presence of other people, plus the teachers have upped the academic work, so for DD who is used to working in a quiet house, the constant noise at school and in the boarding house is proving hard work!
Luckily she seems more upbeat today, having got through to the weekend!!

Original poster
ifonly4 · 30/09/2017 15:14

What a rollercoaster. Picked DD up on Thurs for her first weekend home, as she was leaving I had the comment "how can I leave this" and all she's talked about is new school since coming home. She did a taster day at her old school yesterday and says she doesn't even want to consider going back there. I've just pointed out she has to be sure she can cope with any negatives and as whichever schools she's at on Monday she'll be staying at. Long term we think the new school is better for her in many ways, but she has to be happy.

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homebythesea · 27/09/2017 08:12

ifonly I'm sure this is very stressful for you all- but it sounds like she has given it a good go but maybe it just isn't for her? I know that at DD's school there have been a handful of leavers already. It certainly doesn't suit everyone and it's great that you are facilitating a change.

DD is loving her school. It's very full on and she is knackered at the weekend. She's doing ok in the classroom too so that keeps the parents happy 😉

errorofjudgement · 27/09/2017 06:04

Hi ifonly, your DD has been so resilient to stick with this for a month and give it her best shot. I bet you're excited to get her home this weekend, and im sure it will be a relief to see her and help her move forwards to being happy again x

Original poster
ifonly4 · 26/09/2017 14:34

error, glad you had a good weekend with your DD.

home, how are things for your DD?

Although, DD is much happier with certain aspects at her new school, she's generally very flat and we've found out hasn't been eating much which is unlike her. Even though she can see good points for staying, I think she's just about made the decision to come home which given she's hardly eating I'm relieved about. She's home this weekend and she's got a taster day at her old school. Both schools have been brilliant and very supportive, that final decision just needs to be made.

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errorofjudgement · 25/09/2017 07:57

Thanks guys. It was great to see DD and hear how happy she is.
I think I need to start arranging to go in to work late after a break.
We took her back to school at 5 - no one else had returned! So we went out for a meal, and returned at 7:30, luckily lots more of her friends were back, but it's then a long drive home and v tired this morning!
Worth it though Smile

homebythesea · 24/09/2017 07:57

Great news error .