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Original poster

Advice from experienced teachers: struggling to deal with the girls in my class

29 replies

thepennyshop · 25/04/2017 21:01

I wonder if any of you can help me with this - as I've had some great advice from this board in the past.

I teach level 3 at an FE college. I have 15 boys and 4 girls in my class. They are aged 16-18.

On the whole I have gotten on fine with the class since September, but I'm now realising I have no problems with the boys only with the girls.

The girls are loosely in two groups, but on the whole get on well with each other. They are all planning on going to uni, and generally they attend and do their work.

They are just really rude and antagonist to me in the class. I don't really know how to deal with it. I get the feeling they hate my guts, and they are ganging up on me. But one on one I get on fine with each one of them.

I meet them for one on one sessions at least fortnightly where I am positive and encouraging and feel we have a good connection. But in the group situation they are appallingly rude to me.

I have been teaching for 2 years, and previously worked in an office for 15 years. So In discipline situations I act like I would in an office- and not like a teacher. 2 of the girls are 18, so in many ways talking adult- adult should be appropriate here.

But they are so disrespectful to my face on a continuous basis, it has got to the point that some of the boys have called them out on it before I can.

I am struggling as it is also underhanded disrespect, like saying nothing to my face while I'm trying to talk to them, but sneering and making eye contact with their friends either while I'm doing it, or even before my back is turned.

The other male teachers have no problem with them - and I know it is a female- female issue, which is why I haven't really asked them for advice. Also on paper the girls are great, they have much better quality of work and attendance than many of the boys. So there is nothing concrete for me to deal with apart from their attitude, much of that is hidden in sneering eye contact- so I can't even pull them up on having said something.

I feel I'm being humiliated on a daily basis - and also undermined in front of the class.

For the record I am a good teacher and have had consistently grade 1 and grade 2 observations.

Any help or advice welcome!

OP posts:
Shadowboy · 25/04/2017 21:21

Have you ever called them out in it? Girls hold grudges, boys don't. I teach FE too (19 years now and I've found with girls I have to quietly call them out on it)

If I see something, it goes a bit like this...
Me-Beth do you have a problem with your eyes?
Beth- no?
Me- oh, well I thought you had something in your eye, either that or you rolled your eyes at me.
Beth- I didn't
Me- great, glad nothing is affecting your vision.

I would do this out loud, I've never had issues with raising poor behaviour in front of the class. Make it clear you know and have seen it/picked up on it. I'm the same with phones. If I see them doing a sneaky peek under the table I as them what is wrong with their legs that requires them to stare under the table.....

If they talk while I'm talking I ask them to repeat what I just said.

However I'm quite tough in all honesty (e.g. If they don't hand in HW without prior contact I kick them out to do it)

I don't tend to have a girl issue but so find them to be trickier to 'bring round'

Original poster
thepennyshop · 25/04/2017 21:16

Thanks purple my main colleague doesn't want to talk about it with me, as he has no problem with them. We also don't have a major code of conduct that we all talk about as most of the department is sessional so we come in and out and do our own thing.

I have made a big deal about obvious rules like no mobile phones. But I don't know how I can call them out on sneering eye contact.

Today as I was trying to talk privately to one of the girls she was more concerned with looking past me to her friend so she could roll her eyes to her to slag me off as I was in the middle of talking to her. It's so rude and disrespectful and I didn't know what to say.

I agree overall with not taking it personally, as they have all left school for a reason, I just feel I'm being made a fool of in the class

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 25/04/2017 21:06

I forgot to say, the most important thing is not to take it personally.

PurpleDaisies · 25/04/2017 21:05

Stop thinking of it as a female-female issue. Talk to the other teachers and find out what they do fit discipline.

Presumably there's a code of conduct/behaviour management plan? You need to apply it absolutely consistently.

I'd spend time making your classroom rules clear and you need to toughen up and enforce them.

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