Disappointed with dd's dance exam result.

@taxi4ballet Mine went in as a small group, but the set dances were done individually whilst the others stood to the side.

@IworkMiracles Dance exams are done in groups, not individually.

Regardless of grades, if your daughter at the age of six can dance in front of a stranger, alone, or will as she progresses, she's set for life.
She will be the one confidently doing presentations at school, not freaking out about it, she'll learn how to manage her nerves and use them to her advantage.
It's like GCSE grades, by the time you are 18 no one cares if you, got a 4 or a 9, as long as you have your maths and English, the rest is irrelevant.
A low merit now isn't going to prevent her from being a lead ballerina! Spacial awareness comes with age and development, nothing anyone can do about that, you can't force development, just let her dance.

If your little girl enjoys it, dance is so good for her development.

Enjoyment is THE most important thing, but while she is enjoying it, it is also doing her a ton of good.

Have a read of this
www.careforkids.com.au/blog/the-magic-of-dance-in-early-childhood#:~:text=Dance%20also%20teaches%20children%20teamwork,in%20relation%20to%20their%20peers.

And this, From Harvard medical Review:

Other studies show that dance helps reduce stress, increases levels of the feel-good hormone serotonin, and helps develop new neural connections, especially in regions involved in executive function, long-term memory, and spatial recognition.

And as dance mom of a young adult, who has paid a fortune on dance over the

Just let her go & enjoy herself.
I still feel put out with my DParents for cancelling my ballet lessons when I was 6.
The teacher told them ‘I would never make a ballet dancer as I was too heavy footed’
They decided not to waste their money, but I loved my dancing & really missed it!
This was decades ago!!

She's only 6. Either a. She doesn't care about the grade b. She'll care enough to improve or c. She'll be bummed the grades aren't reflecting her effort and change activity. It will all be ok if you handle it encouragingly. As someone who didn't do well in dance competitions I'm pretty confident ;)

My daughter has lessons but no longer takes the exams - she scored high merits (2/3 marks off distinction every time), but the preparation and extra lessons were insane and way too much pressure. Her love is for musical theatre and the dance lessons definitely help but the exams were just extra stress for her (and me!). She's 12 now and has been dance captain for two shows (and lead roles in others needing lots of great dancing)

She takes piano and musical theatre exams but dance exam pressure was on a whole other level.

Your daughter's mark was fab, I'm sure she's a lovely dancer and greet she is happy and enjoys it! Dance schools strive for really high marks but those who are getting merits are still beautiful and talented dancers!

I think as your daughter gets older you’ll realise that her strengths and weaknesses may lie in different places to what you might have originally thought. I have learnt some of this the hard way but it’s also fine for a child to learn they’re not always the best at everything/some things won’t come easily.

My daughter seemed pretty talented at piano when she was little- was put in for her grade 1 when she was 7 and her teacher thought she’d ace it. She totally freaked out a few hours before the exam, lots of tears and the nerves just hit. She scraped a pass and initially I was a bit gutted for her but actually I was so proud that she pulled herself together, went in and managed to get through everything despite being so nervous. After that, we stepped down the pressure massively and spent a year playing for fun before even contemplating g2 pieces. My learning from that was that I’d totally underestimated how intimidating the venue and process was. The exam was in a massive church, it felt very formal and stuffy and I wasn’t allowed in.

As much as you’ve said you don’t like the idea of the examiner judging your child and passing comment, I actually found the ballet set up to be much nicer and more forgiving than music. My daughter did her primary ballet at around the same time and although there was work in the run-up, the day felt fun and child-centred. The kids were laughing and happy as they were getting ready and were really encouraging each other. Even if my daughter scores poorly, I’d take a ballet exam over a music exam any day.

I might seem intense on here but I'm really not irl.

I wonder if the people close to you would agree with this? You come across as SO intense on here that I just can't believe it's something you manage to totally avoid in real life.

Hi @User860131
Speaking as someone who's been there, done that, got the scars t-shirt, I'm pleased to see that you have come to your senses (!) and will be simply letting your dd enjoy her fun hobby. A merit that's a few marks off a distinction is actually a good result. Take a step back, let the teachers do their stuff, and don't take it seriously. A dance exam is not a competition, and all kids progress at their own pace.

I’m confused?

Gosh.

Your recent update still sounds like a you problem. The way you view things is alarming imo. Self reflection hasn't been had here clearly. Sad

Great to see that you have been able to see the big picture here.

That said, if the school she is at is not nurturing of all kids, I would like at moving to a better, more supportive school. Dance does not have to be cut throat.

A high merit is great! They don't just give out distinctions. I am sure you can find the stats somewhere, but a minority of children will be getting distinctions. It is for work which is outstanding. I'm not sure what the school's attitude is that you are picking up that a merit is substandard or just average. It's equivalent to very good. Also in exams they are looking at very precise criteria. It doesn't mean that the highest scoring child is necessarily the best performer or the most graceful or the one you want to watch on stage because they have that x factor quality. They hit all the marks that the examiner is looking for.

Please try again and highlight where she lost the marks and ask what your DD can do to improve. If you don't feel you are getting a proper response from your dance teacher then I'm a bit lost. DD didn't attend a school that did regular competitions so we have no experience of that.

The dance world is a minefield, I remember when DD moved to another school as we had lesson clashes and I was concerned how she would be received by the other girls. She went for a trial lesson and it was watching night, one of the other moms was so lovely and said such nice things about DD's dancing. She was very welcoming as were all the other moms. She got on very well with all the girls, it was a lovely school

Balletcoforum.com is very good with helping to negotiate the dance world and I highly recommend it

edited for typo and clarity (I hope)

I don't think having to spend months preparing for an exam (because that's what the class is doing) then not being allowed to sit it by your mum because she is worried you might not do well enough is going to be much of a confidence boost.

OP honestly, back off. Why on earth are you practicing with your dd for dance exams, that's the schools job (and, when she's much older, hers)?

It's a hobby. You buy her the kit, take her to lessons and tell her she's great. That's literally your role here.

Based on what you said here, it doesn't sound like a good dance school. I never experienced that attitude in the 14 years dd did ballet and modern. She went to grade 8 and also did intermediate foundation and intermediate so she was decent enough but not brilliant. She also had a couple of friends doing it who were not selected to do the intermediate exams and who never did better than a merit and more frequently only got a pass in exams. They were all given equal attention and any queries from parents were treated with respect and answered politely and comprehensively. So no, not everyone who has been involved in dance "knows".

I repeat have you asked the dance teacher to explain? You say you are not a dancer but forgive me if I am wrong, you seem unwilling to ask the teacher? You are paying this person to teach your child but you don't seem to be using their expertise

6 marks off a distinction is a very good mark. My DD would have loved that at Grade1 although ballet or tap as she didn't do jazz. She is a classically trained ballet dancer having attended vocational school and I took advice from all the teachers who taught her during her years to attain her goal

Don’t put her in for exams if they cause you such anxiety. Dancing is fun - it doesn’t matter what level she achieves.

I don't think there is such a thing as a 'low merit'. I know RAD have added 'high merit' and 'high distinction' to their classifications, but that doesn't translate that the remaining categories become 'low' merits/ distinctions.

She is 6, she put the work in, went in prepared, did the exam and got a merit. What an achievement! Not sure why you have such an incredibly negative take on it.

So she has some aspects to work on now. Great! If she is motivated by exam results, she can nail these aspects for next time.

Sometimes I think clubs, schools give out certificates for any small thing - not a bad thing per se - but when it comes to doing a serious and challenging exam there is an expectation from parents/ child that they will automatically get gold starts plastered all over. It is a different thing and expectations needing setting accordingly.

Please don't worry at all. The things marked lower are ones which would be common in younger dancers anyway.

Just before you go Op... A different perspective

Having said all that about joy and resilience etc the classes we gravitated to in the end were the less expensive and not so serious ones.

Once it gets spendy, which will be different for everyone of course, but I do remember the pressure to not miss a class and to feel you were making the most of things. As a parent, it sort of sucked the joy out of it. When kids are small there are so many outgoings and often less income. And things have become even more expensive since our kids were young. If that anxiety is feeding into this - I think many of us on this thread have probably experienced that feeling if we are honest, even if financially OK - we didn't do any of the gymnastic badges nor many dance competitions mainly because they were spendy, deadly dull, took ages and unless your kid very serious about it - they aren't important. Plenty of practice & the odd performance was the perfect level for us.